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Say What?

Way back when I was considering teaching as a profession, my children and I had a rather frank discussion regarding the age group I should work with.

Chicky and Rooster were pretty adamant that I should teach high school.

“Mama, you’re a better fit for high school.  Trust us.”

They were right.  I don’t think I have the patience or sugar sweetness required of an elementary teacher, and middle school, I discovered from subbing, was definitely not my thing.

With high schoolers, I can be sarcastic (I know the books say not to do this, but my kids eat it up because I do not personally insult my babies with my humor).

There’s also a certain degree of maturity that elementary and middle school students lack.

And then I got a certain class this year.

Y’all, I have found myself saying things that I never thought I’d have to say to fifteen and sixteen year olds.

I’m having conversations that are making me do the head-jerk dance at least two or three times a class period.  You know…the kind where your head jerks to the side in confusion.  I tried to find a meme but couldn’t locate it.  Guess I’ll have to create one.

Some of my favorite conversations thus far this year…and it’s only October 14th include the following…


“Why do you think it’s funny to fart in class.  Seriously.  Who thinks that’s funny?”

All the kids giggled in response.

And keep farting.


Someone burps loudly.

Excuse me,” I say.

No response.


Except a few giggles.


“Mrs. Auburnchick, do you have Febreeze ’cause it always smells rank in here.”


I put in another Scentsy candle wax.

One child actually brings in a can of air freshener.

I have to explain why he shouldn’t spray it…because the smell doesn’t not mix well with the pumpkin Scentsy smell.

Sweet thing that he is, he shrugs in genuine confusion.


Z comes in with a sling on his arm.  I feel bad because he’s a basketball player, and he explains that he fell on it.

“Mrs. Auburnchick, I can’t write the bellwork.”

“Do your best.  You’re going to have to find a way since you’ll be wearing that for a while.”

Later, I walk around during silent reading time.

“Z, weren’t you wearing the sling on the other arm when you came in?”

Kids giggle.

“Um, yeah.  I just didn’t feel like writing today.”

I call mom on the spot and repeat, verbatim, what Z says.  The other kids listen in closely.  Nobody says a word.  The class hasn’t been this quiet.  Ever.

She tells me to tell Z that he better do his work…that she’s working on something for him.

I repeat her words, loudly, across the room to make sure that Z hears.

The class giggles but gets to work so I don’t call their mamas.


Yesterday during my read aloud, a kid starts slurping.



“Stop slurping.  It’s distracting.”

Kids giggle.

Another kid slurps.

This scene repeats three or four times before I give up on the read aloud.

It’s not our best day.


Young man in my class who’s very social is having a good day…staying on task…until…

He’s not.

“Mrs. Auburnchick, I was good as long as I could.  I just can’t do it any longer.”


I give up and give him props for lasting as long as he does.

Celebrate the good, y’all.  Progress is the key.


Watching a student do the Dab three days ago, in the middle of class, for no reason.

“Why are you dabbing?  Dabbing is what you do when you celebrate something.”

“I’m celebrating, Mrs. Auburnchick.”

“Really?  We haven’t even finished the lesson yet.  If we finish, we can dab.”

We don’t finish.

I give it a valiant effort, though.


Reasons why we should not get turn’t:

It’s only Monday.

It’s only Tuesday.

It’s not Friday yet.

It’s not even Thursday yet.

We haven’t survived Wednesday.

Seriously, though.


Real conversation.  I kid you not.

Be jealous.



One Response

  1. GIRL>>> I so get this. I am made to work with middle school kids – because I can talk their level – but scare the begeez out of them if need be 😉 haha
    DABBING… WHAT THE HECK? It is constant in Middle school ministry!!!

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