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Abide

I’ve always been one to wear my emotions on my sleeve.  Anyone who knows me very well is probably nodding at this statement.

What I’m feeling right now is unbelievably stressed.

The mandates that are being handed down of late are very challenging.  Teaching is an incredibly demanding job that I thought I was finally getting a hold of.

Yeah, right.

Lesson planning, grading, and reworking lesson plans for unexpected “things” that seem to crop up regularly are very stressful for a person who needs everything laid out neatly.

In the midst of the chaos, I keep seeing the word abide around me.

In fact, I even purchased some temporary tattoos of this word, in Hebrew.

It’s everywhere I turn.

It’s been in my Proverbs 31 online Bible study.  The current study has had us reading Lysa TerKeurst’s book, Uninvited.

Oh word, but what an amazing book!  I just finished reading it two nights ago, and it is seriously some good stuff.  Girlfriend can preach through the written word, let me tell you.

I’m finding that the more I abide with God, the better perspective I have for the issues that I struggle with in my life.

This week has challenged my ability to do this, but isn’t this part of life?  Studying, learning how to apply new truths, and then falling on your face in failure.  It’s a cycle that I constantly find myself in the midst of.

It is when I’m feeling most stressed that I need to abide ever closer to the One who knows my heart.

Abiding is hard for me though.

I’m a perfectionist.  I’m not keen on waiting for things to play out.  I have a need to control my circumstances.

One would think that teaching for this long would have helped me be more adaptable.

It has, in some ways, but in others, not so much.

I am a work in progress.

I am a slow learner who needs constant reminders that I am at my worst when I am stressed…when I don’t abide.  It is during these phases that life slaps me around a bit before I slink, ashamedly, to my Father’s side and slip my hand in His.

It’s when I abide that I find grace, generously poured out by a loving Father who was there all along waiting for me to come to my senses.

When I abide, I find respite from an ever-changing world…peace in a never-changing God.

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