• Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

    Join 78 other subscribers

  • “Writing, to me, is simply thinking through my fingers” — Isaac Asimov

  • Recent Posts

  • Pages

  • Categories

  • Archives

  • Blog Stats

    • 197,155 hits

Two Weeks Later…What I’ve Learned

Posted on November 28, 2016 by auburnchick

Today marks two weeks since I fell and broke three bones in my ankle in what is known as a trimalleolar fracture.

Today also marks one week since I had surgery to fix this fracture.  I am now sporting twelve pins (that we can count in the x-rays) and one plate in my ankle.  At this time, I don’t know if the pins will come out.  We think they might because there was a patient next to me during pre-op who was having his pins removed by the same surgeon who was doing my surgery, so it’s possible.

I’ve learned a lot during this time…time I’ve spent mostly off my feet.

I have learned that my husband is an angel in disguise.

No kidding.  He really is.

He has a grumpy exterior, but inside, he’s a mush-ball.  He gets upset when I cry.  Except for Saturday, when he told me to stop having a pity party, but it was GameDay Saturday, so I forgave him for that.

I stayed home today while the Mr. returned to work. he left me enough to eat and drink until he could return at lunch to feed me again.

I stayed home today while the Mr. returned to work. he left me enough to eat and drink until he could return at lunch to feed me again.

I have learned that though my faith is strong, it has some growing to do.

I haven’t questioned the “why” of this, but I have questioned the “how long” of it.  I don’t like the wait-and-see mentality, but that’s just how it is with this kind of injury.  It’s a longgggg wait-and-see.

Who has time for that?

Apparently, I do.

I’ve learned that the Lord shows up in a powerful way when I call on him, as I’ve had to do frequently but especially in the middle some of my darker moments…times that come unexpectedly but pack a solid punch to my psyche.

It is during these times when I have been thankful for my years of walking with God; His Word comes to my mind, and I recite verses to call Him close.  He’s there, I know, but He feels more present when I call.

My injury has forced me to slow down and pay attention to the things around me.  It’s a lesson I’ve needed to learn for a long time but have been too busy to make time for.

Oh, the irony of it.

I literally have to watch where I walk right now.  I have to choose my steps carefully.  In doing so, I’m noticing the smallest things.  It’s an awareness that I am seeing carried into other areas.  I find myself increasingly grateful for the littlest things.  It’s amazing how much I really see now that I’ve slowed down.

I’m learning the power that a bath and freshly washed hair can have on a person’s mental health.

The Mr. helped me wash my hair…with the detachable shower nozzle. We got through the experience without him wanting to strangle me with it. Go us!

 

I dried my hair all by myself, while sitting on the toilet lid!!! Go me!!

I dried my hair all by myself, while sitting on the toilet lid!!! Go me!!

I’ve learned that perspective is everything.  I’m trying really hard not to sweat the small stuff.  It doesn’t matter.  It really doesn’t.  Which is why I asked for (and received after asking for this for two days) a cup of Peppermint Hot Chocolate (with soy and without whipped cream).  It was my first in two years.  It didn’t blow up my daily goal in MyFitnessPal, although at over 300 calories, I will not be splurging often.

It tasted divine.

Perspective.

I’m learning that, just as new bruises are beginning to make their appearance, I’ll have unexpected bumps in the road, but God is gracious, and He will provide me with the means to overcome them.

Physically, this is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to deal with.  Emotionally, it’s certainly challenging, but in a different way from other things I’ve experienced in my life.

I am a work in progress; this is part of the molding process.

It’s not always fun, and it’s certainly not always pretty (check out my greasy, pre-washed/eight-day-old hair)…

No comments about my team loyalty, please. We could do with a bit of an overhaul as well. Just sayin'.

No comments about my team loyalty, please. We could do with a bit of an overhaul as well. Just sayin’.

Still, I am #findingjoyinthejourney, hills, curves, and bumps included.

Filed under: This-n-That | Tagged: , , | 2 Comments »

Rhythms of Grace

Posted on November 27, 2016 by auburnchick

When I woke up this morning and began looking at my various social media feeds, I saw this…

It had been posted by the Proverbs 31 ministry.

I loved the accompanying verse:

Psalm 37:23-26New International Version (NIV)

23 The Lord makes firm the steps
    of the one who delights in him;
24 though he may stumble, he will not fall,
    for the Lord upholds him with his hand.

25 I was young and now I am old,
    yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken
    or their children begging bread.
26 They are always generous and lend freely;
    their children will be a blessing.[a]

How these words spoke to my soul as I read them.

My pace has slowed to a crawl.

Literally.

You should have seen the Mr. last Monday as we made our way from the car in the parking lot to my surgeon’s office.  This was before my surgery (I got wheeled out afterward).

I took baby steps on my crutches.

I was terrified of hitting a crack in the sidewalk and falling.

He patiently escorted me, ready to catch me if I lost my balance.

I frequently apologized for going so slow.

He told me that he was glad I wasn’t going faster.

If you know me personally, you have seen me walk and heard me talk.

I do everything QUICKLY.

Even in my classroom.

I can be across the room faster than a student can turn his head.

My fitness watch / step counter loves me.

I’ve struggled with so many different aspects of my injury…physical pain, emotional distress, and frustration.

Slowing down has been a huge adjustment.

Yesterday, I had a pity party.  Actually the party moved after the Mr. wouldn’t indulge me.  I began texting back and forth with my friend, Barb.  She doesn’t do pity parties, let me tell you.  She gives you a minute (for me, she’s allowing two since I’m on crutches) before she tells you to pick yourself up and get on with business.

She listened, though, in the text-chat kind of way.

She told me, “You will have your life back – just a bump in the road.  Sometimes we need [to] get nudged from above to sit…”

This comes from a woman who doesn’t know how to sit.

She reminded me that this is another blessing in disguise.

It’s kind of hard to argue with God about being still when That’s. All. You. Can. Do.

The Bible verse that followed the illustration hit me too.

It is God who makes firm our steps.

He is the one who will determine when my ankle is strong again.

As a person who is used to being in control, this is difficult to come to terms with.

Beyond what I am doing…elevating my leg nearly 24/7…eating right…sleeping as much as I can…heeding all other directives given to me…I.  Can.  Do.  Nothing.

Nada.

To speed my healing along…to get back into my rush-rush life.

And so I am trying to deal with this with as much grace as I can.

I am thankful for this time, mind you, even as I fight my feelings of letting others down.

Just as God is directing my pace, so is He directing that of others.

It’s as if life is one long song, the rhythm of which changes according to the tempo of each stanza.

Although I am not currently dancing a fast jig, I will do so one day, once my healing is complete.

Just as the Mr. followed closely behind me on our way to the doctor’s office on Monday, God is standing in the gap, strong arms ready to steady me should I start to topple over, as I’m wont to do.

Until this current refrain of my lifesong is over, I remain focused on #findingjoyinthejourney.

Filed under: This-n-That | Tagged: , | Leave a comment »

A Better Day

Posted on November 26, 2016 by auburnchick

You know, I really hesitated before hitting the “Publish” button for yesterday’s post.

I wondered if the topic was a little TMI for public consumption.

While I don’t know what people were thinking when they read it, I did receive a number of texts and other messages encouraging me to 1) Keep taking my meds, so I could 2) Stay ahead of the pain, and 3) To consider taking a stool softener to help with my plumbing problem.

Thank you, all, for validating my choice of writing topics!  I felt a bit empowered and definitely supported!!

❤ ❤ ❤

Thank you, too, for your prayers.

Yesterday was a much better day for me.  I woke up at 6:15 for my medicine, and boy did I feel groggy.  The thing about me waking up early each day is that I haven’t been able to go back to sleep.

I called for the Mr. to escort me to the restroom.  We still aren’t at the point where I can be trusted to walk alone.  Thank goodness he was there.  I was very wobbly on my crutches, but I got there and back with his help.

After spending a couple more hours in my chair, waiting for the Mr. to get up, I watched TV and blogged.

Later, after he’d gone to the grocery store, I felt up to eating an apple.  It was huge and more than I’d eaten yesterday.  Let’s just say that it got my plumbing running!  I wanted to celebrate like a child learning how to potty train.  I actually asked the Mr. if I could have candy as a reward.  Ha!

Then, I decided to get a bath.

Let me tell you, a person takes a lot for granted until something happens.  The ability to take a shower, unaided, has become one of those things that I will appreciate from this point forward.  I have a shower chair from when Chicky had her first ACL surgery eons ago.  It’s been a lifesaver.  I also have a pull-out shower nozzle that has been worth every penny.

Being able to indulge in my Bath and Body Works shower gel made me feel pretty.  At least I wasn’t stinky any more! Putting on clean clothes also helped my mental health.

I napped for about an hour while the Mr. went out for a bit of Black Friday shopping.  Sleeping has been very healing for me.

When he returned, I spent the rest of the day watching football.  He fixed me a hearty lunch of crackers and soup, which stayed down.  Later, for dinner, he fixed his first real meal for me…

You should have seen the Mr.’s face.  He was so proud of himself!  He reads labels very carefully to ensure that everything is vegan-friendly.

He’s a keeper.

Here’s what my plate looked like…

Oh word, but I was full after that!

I did enjoy a bit of dessert later, though…the last piece of the Brownie Bottom Peanut Butter Cheesecake I’d made the week before…

Going down on my pain meds definitely helped me feel better, even if the pain that I felt did go up a bit throughout the day.  At this point, I was deciding between nausea and pain.  It was a tough choice.  I think I balanced it well, though.

The longer I go through this recovery process, the more I learn.

It’s not going to be easy.

There are going to be surprises along the way.

I am going to have to give myself some serious time to heal.

I don’t know why, but I thought I’d be able to pop up and run with it once I got a cast.

Yeah, that sound is the universe laughing at me…again.

And so as I learn these lessons, so will you, if you stick with me.  You never know when you’ll be able to share the information with someone later or when someone will have the same injury and will google to look for answers…and happen upon this here blog.

So I write…while I continue my never-ending version of Groundhog Day.

 

Filed under: This-n-That | Tagged: | 2 Comments »

When the Plumbing Stops Working

Posted on November 25, 2016 by auburnchick

I am, literally, sick of being off my feet.

Not just tired of it, but truly sick of it.

Yesterday was a bad day.  It was probably the second worst since I broke my ankle.

The day started off great.  My pain was completely under control, and I was feeling great!

I thought that I’d turned a corner.

That’s when the universe laughed.

One of the bad things about pain medication is that it can limit a person’s ability to do some personal business in the bathroom…as in the not-tinkling-kind-of-business.  The kind that takes care of the plumbing, if you know what I mean.

So what ultimately happened, we think, started with my visit to the emergency room the night of the 13th, is when I began getting pain medication, both in my IV and as a prescription.

I’ve taken a lot of pain meds, let me tell you.  Breaking three bones in your ankle is not something you can ignore.  The pain screams for intervention.

Then, with the nerve block I got during my surgery and the heavy pain medicine I’ve been on since then, my body has not adjusted to all of the new stuff being put into it.

In addition to pain medicine, I’ve been taking vitamin supplements to begin the process of improving my bone density.

All of that led to my inability to use the restroom.

It would be okay if it was just a day or two, but folks, we are talking about a week and a half.

For someone who never, ever has issues with this body function, this is a huge ordeal.

Everything caught up with me yesterday.

I tried to eat but became so nauseous that I couldn’t.

The nausea took over my day, along with my efforts to try to go.

I got sicker and sicker.

The hubby made me a smoothie. I’d recently come across the recipe.

Although it tasted delicious, I was only able to drink half of it, and it stuck in the middle of my stomach.

Y’all, it was bad.  I felt as though someone had put a fist in the middle of my stomach, right below my chest.

I knew I had to potty, but I wasn’t 100% sure I wasn’t going to puke either.

At one point, I spent a couple of hours in the bathroom determined to wait things out.

The dogs visited me a few times, bless their hearts.

It didn’t work.

I do not give up easily, but I had to throw in the towel eventually.

Meanwhile, the Mr. had started on a task that I’d been looking forward to for a couple of weeks…

This is the pre-lit tree we bought from Home Depot.

While I’d been in the bathroom, I’d heard him struggling to lift the different pieces and put them into place.

I’d heard him grumble about fixing the branches.  Everyone knows that’s the worst part of putting up an artificial tree.

When I emerged from the restroom, he began putting on the ornaments.

My heart, though.

We love doing this…remembering sweet times with our children.  We gave Rooster his ornaments this summer when his new missus was packing for their cross-country move to his first base, so our ornament selection has dwindled a little.

While the Mr. decorated, I dozed.  Being nauseous and dizzy just isn’t fun, y’all.

Then, he took a break to go potty himself, and that is when chaos ensued.

You know when you know you’re about to vomit?

For me, it begins with my stomach churning.

It goes into my cheeks squirting juice across my mouth.

Yeah.

Sounds like loads of fun, eh?

And I was stuck in my chair…broken leg elevated…the Mr. in his bathroom.

Sigh.

Perfect timing, as I’m wont to do.

The only thing I had close to me was a mesh trash basket.

Not ideal.

I YELLED for the Mr.

I told him in a rushed voice that I needed him ASAP…that I was about to throw up.

That poor man RAN out of the bathroom, fussing at me the whole time.

Where was the plastic barf bag he’d constructed for me while I’d been in the bathroom earlier?  He’d put three Publix bags together and had kept them close to me when i didn’t know which way I’d be taking care of business.

It was nowhere to be found.

Oh wait.  It was still in the bathroom.

I’ve never seen him run so fast, y’all.  He high-tailed it across the house, grabbed the bag, and rushed back to me just in time.

Up came the smoothie and the three bites of soup I’d had for lunch.

Into the bag, thank heavens.

In addition to bad timing, I’m also known for not hitting toilets when I puke.

I’m talented like that.

It was over quickly.  I didn’t have much food in me to get rid of.

I tied things up neatly, and he took the bag to the outside garbage can.

Immediately, I felt better, and I was able to crutch myself over to the restroom.

I didn’t get sick any more after that, but my relief from the earlier puking session was short-lived.  It didn’t take long for me to get nauseous again.

I kept a new barf bag near me…even while Super Sis and I were texting one another.

My picture followed her lovely picture that showed off her wearing the Origami Owl necklace I’d bought her last year for her birthday (or maybe Christmas…I cannot remember because her birthday is a couple of weeks after Christmas).

Her picture was prettier.

I kept the barf bag close by while I watched LSU beat up Florida…

As soon as the game was over, the Mr. helped me to the restroom one more time, and I settled in for the night.

I’d been staying awake later at night, but this girl was so very tired from fighting nausea all day that I had to give in to my heavy eyelids.

The only time I woke up was to take my pain meds, which I will not allow myself to get off track from.

If I could ask for specific prayers that I could begin using the restroom normally again, that my attempt to transition down from two pain pills to one would not lead to a lot of extra pain, and that I’d be able to resume eating again.

I am still #findingjoyinthejourney despite my most recent hiccup.  God continues to be gracious to me, and I won’t allow this setback to set me off in anger.

I continue to be grateful as I watch blessings unfold from this unexpected life challenge.

God is so good.  He loves me.  He hears all prayers…even those that involve bathroom plumbing of the human kind.

😉

Filed under: Vegan | Tagged: , , | Leave a comment »

Bionic Ankle

Posted on November 22, 2016 by auburnchick

It’s 6:12 am, Eastern time, that is, as I begin writing this post.  An hour later than home, but I’m not at home.  I’m two hours away, nestled on my in-laws’ couch. right leg elevated.

The deed…it has been done.

I arrived at the surgical center yesterday afternoon for my 2pm check-in time.

That, by no way, meant surgical time, mind you.  They were all about filling out more paperwork…signing my life away to the procedure I was about to have…paying my portion of the bill that the insurance didn’t cover.  Let’s just take a moment to praise insurance, though.  I know a lot of people bemoan it, but I have good insurance, so I cannot complain.

I had to do the pee-in-a-cup thing, because all women within the childbearing age span get to have this fun experience…just in case.  For the record, I’m not.  Thank goodness.  😉

Then, I was whisked away to a hospital bed to begin preparing for surgery.

I loved my English-accent speaking nurse.  She was so gentle, listened to my fears about needles, and gently got my IV ready.  She assured me that I’d be given medicine for post-surgery nausea, which I have a tendency to suffer from.

The Mr. got brought back to me, and we did some waiting.

A lot of it, actually.

Chicky arrived about an hour after we got there, and she did some waiting with us.

I hadn’t seen her since January; her presence made me so happy.  I love this girl so much, but our lives don’t often intersect with her being a super teacher down south and, in general, living life on her own.

The anesthesiologist came by for a chat. Can we all say a Praise the Lord for this profession?  I think that all who enter are screened for great personalities.  I’ve never met one I didn’t like.  He was kind and funny.  And uber professional.  He knew his stuff…knew about my procedure…and set my fears at rest.

We discussed my having a nerve block that would last about 24 hours after surgery.  I couldn’t sign that paperwork fast enough, let me tell you.  I am brave about some things; pain is not one of those things.

He left, and we waited.

And waited.

Periodically, there would be people who would visit my “room…” nurses who would ask me to repeat my name, birth date, and which procedure / which leg I was having work done on.  I wanted to say, “the one with the cast,” but I was being nice.  Ahem.

Chicky left to get her and the Mr. some food…and to visit her Grandmama and utilize her washing machine.  Priorities, folks!

While she was gone, my surgeon came by.  This man though.  He had been so frustrated with me at my first visit for clawing myself to the point where we had to delay surgery that I was a little scared.

I didn’t ask him the questions I mentioned in yesterday’s post.

I’ll ask those questions when I got back for my first post-op visit on the 1st.

He did write on my right toes, though.  I believe I saw him make a smiley face on my big toe.

He was all smiles himself as he described the procedure.  His bedside manner was on point and soothed my heart.  He promised to be back as soon as he did one short procedure for another patient.  The man was busy!

Meanwhile, we waited a little bit more.

I was so very tired.

And scared.

I’m not going to lie, but I grew more scared the longer we waited.

The Mr. did his best to calm me down.  He didn’t want my heart rate to go too fast and delay surgery.

He spoke words of encouragement…words I desperately needed to hear.

He offered me my phone, which he NEVER does, to distract me.  I was too tired to do much besides read a few text messages and Facebook posts.  I quickly handed it back to him.

His main job during surgery was going to be keeping our friends and family updated.

Finally, they began to wheel me back to pre-op.  The Mr. gave me a hug before I left.  I wanted him to stay with me.  That man had been the center of my world this past week…my rock.

Off I went, though, to a room that was divided into sections…each dedicated to its own surgery.

I had heart monitors attached to my chest, some sort of thing put on my leg to check impulses (I never once felt it), and other cords fastened every which way.

I even had an oxygen tube stuck under my nose.  Things were getting very real.  Very fast.

Heck, I felt like I was going to be on one of those hospital drama shows you see on TV.

Ha!

The nurse placed my right leg on a high table in preparation for the anesthesiologist.  He was going to do the nerve block before surgery.

I got really, really scared.

He’d told me that he would be giving me three shots and an extra one in my big toe to ensure that all of my nerves would be given the pain-free juice I’d need.

I.

Hate.

Needles.

And pain.

Did I mention that?

Y’all are not going to believe this, but I slept through the entire thing!

I kid you not.

The fatigue of not sleeping well the night before and a long day of anticipation had worn me out.

Maybe they put a little something something in my IV too.  Who knows.  I’d signed away my life, so it’s possible.

I woke up as the nurse was removing my oxygen tube.  My leg was off the table and completely numb.

Praise Jesus!

I was then wheeled into the operating room.

One operating room.

With lots of big lights.

I remember looking up and wondering about the pattern of the individual light bulbs in each light.

Yeah.  I had some happy drugs, I think.

I was introduced to someone who was prepping a surgical table.  I don’t remember his name.  He turned and waved.

I was moved from the bed I was wheeled in on to a surgery table.  I had to help move my body over.  That was interesting.

Then, I laid back as some sort of mask was held over my nose and mouth…not tight…just enough to breath into.

I thought that I’d never fall asleep.

Ha!

Out I went like a light.

I slowly came to in a recovery room, a different nurse at my side.

My throat hurt so badly.  She told me that they’d put a tube down my throat during surgery.

Thank heavens I was out for that.  I don’t think I would have liked that.

She gave me red Gatorade to sip on and began helping me get dressed.

I’m glad I had taken my leopard print Victoria Secret bra with me.  One must always be fashionable…even when having surgery.  You never know who’s going to see your underclothes.

The Mr. was brought back to see me.  I think he was smiling.  Chicky was there too.  Most of my heart  was there in that room.  I know the others were with me in spirit.

While the nurse was out of the room gathering paperwork, the Mr. told me that the doctor has spoken to him after the surgery.  He’d said that it had gone well, but that he’d discovered that my bones are very brittle.  He’d had some difficulty getting the pins inserted because of this.

As you know, I’ve been a vegan since 2016.  I don’t eat any animal products, which means I have to find creative ways to get protein and calcium.

Apparently, I’ve done a terrible job of this.  I will not be moving away from my vegan lifestyle.  It suits my tummy and other innards well.  What I will be doing, and what the Mr. has already begun doing, is researching how to put more calcium into my body organically.  I don’t do supplements.  My stomach cannot handle them, and I know the body doesn’t process them well.  I will probably have to up my caloric intake.  That’s another issue I need to deal with.

The doctor told the Mr. that my ankle injury was an accident waiting to happen.  As such, I know that I need to make changes quickly so I don’t incur another such injury.  I do not want to be an old lady who has to have hip replacement surgery.

When the nurse returned, she gave me a lot of detailed instructions.  I love that she looked right at me and spoke to me.  She was just so amazing.  The Mr. and Chicky listened on closely.  They knew I’d remember exactly 10% of it.

One cool thing was that she recognized me from the Mr.’s parents’ church.  How weird is that?  We attended it twenty years ago when we lived here and have been back yearly for Christmas Eve services.  My in-laws are very, very active in the church.  I’ve been on more than one prayer chain of late.

God is so wonderful when He makes connections like that.

She gave me lots of paperwork.  Among them were copies of my x-rays.

Y’all, they look like pictures from Frankenstein’s surgery.

There are many, many pins inside of my little leg.

Many.

There’s a plate in there somewhere.  I’m going to have the doctor show me where during my next visit.  It’s on the inside of my leg, but I don’t know where to find it on the x-ray.

Regardless, it was an intense repair, and it’s going to require much healing.  God is the GREAT physician, so I’m not worried.

Finally, it was time to leave.  She wheeled me out.  I had been the last surgery of the day.  It was both dark and cold.  I shivered like crazy.

Fortunately, the car was warm, and the Mr. gently navigated us back to his parents’ house.

What a loving reception I got.  These people have cared for me through so much…so many times when I have been unlovable.  I am so grateful for their unconditional love…something I never had growing up and something that’s been hard to accept all of these years.

The Mr. left fairly quickly.  He’d been driving back and forth to care not only for me but for our fur babies back home.  I hated that he was driving so late, but that’s what love does. ❤

Meanwhile, the in-laws gave us instructions on how to use their remote controls and how to turn off the light switches.  It can get complicated, y’all, I kid you not.  Then, they headed to bed.   They were slap worn out from the long day as well.

Meanwhile, Chicky had been assigned babysitting duties. She was to be my night nurse, relegated to the long couch.

She was wonderful.

I got hungry, so she found some crackers for me.

That was only the start.  She then fixed me a can of soup and got me a glass of orange juice.  Strange combo, I know, but when you’ve been through what I have this past week, you don’t question such requests.

Then, after a couple of trips to the potty, we were set to go.

We watched a bit of TV…an episode of Timeless, which I’ll have to rewatch when I get home because I had a hard time focusing on it…before turning out the light.

I slept pretty good and mainly woke up for my pain meds.  By 5:30, though, I’d had enough.  I had to sit up and catch up on my social media.

I needed to blog before the words were forgotten in the haze of pain and medicine.

I’m starting to feel the effects of the nerve block wearing off.

That’s a good and a bad thing.  The good is that I’ll be able to feel my toes again, which will make me feel less claustrophobic.

The bad is…well…the pain.

You might remember that I don’t like pain.

I am already feeling it on the inside of my ankle…the part I obliterated.  It’s the side that now houses a plate.  I feel as though I have a bionic ankle now.  Ha!

So, I’m asking you to continue praying, if you will.

This pain is going to be no joke.

It’s going to require that I pull up my big girl pants and deal, the best I can.

My goal is to return to work on Monday.  I don’t know how, but I am determined.

I’d like to see the pain reduced a bit before I go in.

I’ll probably be in a wheelchair.  Crutches and me…we are slowly getting to be friends.  I’ll be renting a scooter as soon as the doctor gives me the green light.  That’s when the fun will begin.

Please pray for the Mr.  He stresses.  A lot.  About everything.

He’s a good man.  He’s typical, though, and has a need to see things fixed.

He hates to see people in pain…especially those he loves.

This injury has reminded us both of so much.

We need each other desperately, especially now that our kids are grown and living their own lives elsewhere.

He’s usually been the sick one of the two of us.  I’ve been the caretaker.

Oftentimes, not a great one; frustration and impatience are my enemies.

Not so after this.

Though the Mr. has gotten frustrated, he’s balanced it with attention to detail.  That man has come home from the grocery store only to hear me vocalize a desire for orange juice, which I must have dreamed about while napping while he was gone, and then he has left again to pick up a gallon.

Just because he wanted me happy.

He’s a gem, and he’s all mine, ladies.

I might be willing to rent him out for a small fee, though.  We have a rehearsal dinner to pay for and medical bills to recoup from.

Ha!

Seriously, though, I am still finding #joyinthejourney through the ups and downs I’ve encountered since my fall on the 13th.

God allowed this to happen to me.  Though I cannot fully understand all of the why’s of it, I continue to trust Him.

Please pray as I continue down the road of recovery.  I know it’s going to be very difficult at times, but God prepared me through my year of fitness gains, my return to Him in my Proverbs 31 Online Bible Studies, and my strengthened relationship with my husband.

I.

Am.

Blessed.

Filed under: Christian, fitness, This-n-That, Vegan | Tagged: , , , , , , | Leave a comment »

Going Under the Knife

Posted on November 21, 2016 by auburnchick

Today is THE day!

It is surgery day!

Yay!

Strange response, eh?

Well, if you’d been in the pain that I’ve been in since last Sunday night, you’d be happy too!

A friend asked me if I was nervous.

I said no but then modified my response to say that while I’m not looking forward to the pain that will follow surgery, I am ready to get it over with so that I can begin my recovery in earnest.

It’s strange to be the one on the operating table.  In the past, it’s always been Chicky.

In the past, it’s been me who’s sat in the waiting room for hours, praying and keeping others apprised of the procedure.

Now, others will be waiting for me.

Showtime is 2pm, a little later than I’d prefer, but a time that’s in God’s hands.

Instead of waking up to a cast, I believe, if I heard correctly, I’ll be wearing some sort of adjustable wrap.

I envision something similar to what Chicky had on…velcro straps to hold the padding and brace in place.

Before I’m put under, I have a few questions for the doctor…

The first one is the most important, in my opinion.

Will I be able to run again?

I know I’m not training for the Olympics.  I recognize that I’m no spring chicken.

I have, however, come a long way in my fitness level from where I was at this time last year.

Super Sis and I recently talked about my 8.5 mile run from last week, and she wanted to know how I’d done it.

I told her that I’d just told my legs to keep going, and they had.

I’d told myself to trust my legs and let them do the work because they were strong enough, and they had.

I’ll admit that I’m nervous about asking the doctor this question.  I’m not sure that I want to know the answer.

He’s a no-nonsense guy.  The man don’t play, as my students would say.

Regardless, I am Auburnchick.  I’m fearless.  I ask all the dumb questions.

Ha!

I sure would appreciate continued prayers for the surgeon’s hands as they rebuild my ankle, for a smooth transition out of the surgery (getting put under has made me sick in the past), and for as little pain as possible afterward.

Also, could you pray for the Mr.  He’s under an enormous amount of pressure trying to balance my care, the planning of Rooster’s rehearsal dinner, and doing his regular not-at-home job.

Please pray for his safety as he travels back and forth from Podunk, USA, to get me to my surgery and then back home to care for our fur babies and eventually back to pick me up and take me home.  I’ll be staying with his parents for a day or two to give me an extra day of recovery before I travel in the back of our car on country roads.  Go ahead and say car sickness and ouchies from bumps and curves.

Thanks, all!!

Filed under: This-n-That | Tagged: , , , , | 1 Comment »

A Little Goes a Long Way

Posted on November 19, 2016 by auburnchick

Among the many downsides to breaking a bone is the inability to properly shower.

Thankfully, we already had a shower chair from when Chicky hurt her knee when she was in high school.  We’d kept it all these years, so the Mr. pulled it out of the closet when I was feeling well enough to take care of business.

Bath and Body Works was my friend, y’all!

The problem, though, was my hair.

I cannot stand up for long.  I’m already using my left leg for everything.  I’m going to have body builder muscles in that leg by the time I’m able to use my right leg again.

It has its limits, though, as does my balance.

I also cannot lean forward over a sink, so washing my hair in the kitchen is out.

I texted Dana, my hairdresser, and tried to explain the predicament.

She called me.

Sometimes, a phone call is easier than a hundred texts.

Now, let me tell you about Dana.

She has to be one of the nicest people you’ll ever meet.

She’s been cutting the Mr.’s hair for years and years and years.

He’s followed her from one salon to another.

He got Rooster to start going to her a few years ago, and I finally gave her a try as well.

She’s wonderful.

She’s a no-nonsense gal with a heart of gold.

She assured me that she would be able to prop up my leg while she got me fixed up.

The Mr. drove me to her place today after he’d put in a few hours at work.

She warmly greeted us when we walked in and quickly grabbed a chair, which she gently placed under my leg.

As she washed in that way that hair dressers do, we caught up with one another.  I shared the sordid details of my accident with her.

To look at her, you’d think she’s one bad-a$$ lady.

Ok.  She really is.

But…

Her heart is like butter, I’m telling you.

I think she gave my head an extra long massage as we talked.

I could have fallen asleep.

I’ve been unable to scratch my itchy leg in its cast.  Her scalp massage was more than making up for that.

She then combed out my hair before I got up to leave.

She walked us out, and we tried to pay her.

She almost looked offended.

She would not take our money.

At all.

She wouldn’t even let us tip her.

Sigh.

We kind of figured going into it that she’d refuse, but we still wanted to try.

We’re planning on doing something nice for her the next time we go in.

The Mr. and I talked about this on our way home, and I texted her later to thank her.

I told her how much she meant to us…that she’s like family.

She doesn’t just give lip service about kind deeds.

She personifies them.

She’s love in action.

Some might suggest that I’m making too much out of nothing, but I don’t think I am.

I’m deeply appreciative of the little things.

I had told the Mr. how someone had told me to allow others to help me during this challenging time.  Accepting help allows people to be blessed by their actions.  Denying them robs them of the privilege.

It’s an interesting perspective but one that I understand.  I always feel good when someone lets me help them.  I know that it’s hard to admit that you need help.  We live in a culture that stresses self-reliance.

Thus it is that little things do not go unnoticed.  The ripple effects reach out farther than one might like to think.

Dana’s seemingly small action put a smile on my face and lifted my spirits on a day that had started with a bit of a pity party and a few tears of frustration.

Ignore my lack of makeup and tired eyes.  Stress will do that to a person.

Ever since my pain medicine got changed, I’ve spent most of my time with my leg propped up, napping each day away and seeing very little natural daylight.  My heart is rejoicing, though, because my hair isn’t greasy or stinky.

Filed under: This-n-That | Tagged: , | 1 Comment »

Unsung Heroes

Posted on November 18, 2016 by auburnchick

Caregivers.

They do not get near the attention they deserve when caring for a loved one who’s down and out.

I’m embarrassed to admit that I have often overlooked them as well.

Until this week.

From the moment that I fell, my Mr. has gone into overdrive.

The Mr. has usually been in the background.  He has always been a quiet, firm foundation for our family.

I’ve always been the one to take care of the day-to-day minutia.  In other words, I’ve been the loud one.

Ahem.

His job is very demanding; he’s always on call.  Hence, I’ve been the one to take care of bumps, bruises, and other emergencies and not-so-emergencies.

With both kids grown and out of the house, the Mr. and I are each other’s primary focus now.

There aren’t a whole lot of other people to fill in the gap.

The breaking of my ankle has been traumatic on both of us.  Watching him handle it has given me pause to think.

All of a sudden, he has had to do everything.

He had to decide which hospital to take me to.

He had to figure out how to get me to the car…easier said than done when I was screaming out in pain the entire time (no exaggeration).

He held me over the bedpan in the ER…three times.

He might have gagged a bit, bless his heart.

He had to figure out how to get me out of the car when we got home after that long night.

He’s been behind me every time I’ve gotten up to use the restroom.  Neither of us trust my ability to navigate on crutches.  My clumsiness got me into this mess.

I am sleeping on the recliner in the den.  He has gotten up almost every night…in the wee hours…to check on me…to ask if I need to use the restroom.  If he hears me moan in pain, he’s there.

He called around for recommendations on surgeons and then made my doctor’s appointment.

He drove me two hours to the appointment, sat and listened to every word the doctors and nurses said, filled my new pain prescription before we left this city, and drove two hours home.  He was exhausted but kept on trucking.

He’s planned every meal I’ve eaten, except for the dish brought by a sweet gal from our church.

He’s gone to the store just because I had a hankering for orange juice, and he got Mexican takeout because he knew it was my favorite.

He helped me figure out how to bathe and monitored me closely to make sure that I didn’t get any water in my cast.

He’s been the primary caregiver of the dogs as well, letting them out every single time they have had to go…feeding them…comforting them during this weird time when their mama cannot snuggle with them.

While keeping up with me, the dogs, and the house, he’s also worked from home.

He’s also working on rehearsal dinner preparations and thinking about Christmas.

He’s trying to figure out how to decorate for Christmas because our human babies will be here in a few weeks.

He hasn’t figured out how to scoop dog poop.  I think he’s leaving that task to me.

Caregiving has its limits.

Ha!

This man is my hero.

He has completely put my needs in front of his own.

Y’all, marriage is tough.

There have been times when we didn’t know if we were going to make it.

Fortunately, we are past those days.

When I look at the Mr., I see a man who is exhausting himself in his attempt to be and do everything so that I can make a complete recovery.

I love him dearly and pray that I never take him for granted again…that when it’s my turn to be his caregiver, that I’ll be more patient (I’m not known to be), just as he has been.

When we look around at other caregivers, let us all remember that there is so much that we don’t see.  They are putting on brave fronts, pretending like they’ve got things under control (most don’t), and that all is hunky-dory.

While we pray for those who need healing from whatever is ailing them, let us also pray for those who are providing the day-to-day triage care.

They are unsung heroes.

Filed under: empty nest | Tagged: , | 2 Comments »

Joy in the Journey

Posted on November 17, 2016 by auburnchick

Sounds like a strange title for a blog post given my current circumstances, eh?

Well, I started using that hashtag a few days ago, and as I contemplated my newest post, this title jumped out at me.

No matter what we go through in life, I think it’s important to look for hidden blessings.  These silver linings make the hard stuff easier to bear.

Despite my current challenges, I’m trying to find something positive every time I want to complain.

Here’s my list so far:

The Bad:  Falling over the dog and breaking my ankle
Silver Lining:  The dog cushioned my fall, and I didn’t hit my head on the floor or break a wrist.

The Bad:  Waiting in the ER for seven hours, with treatment happening intermittently.
Silver Lining:  I was much better off than some of the people I saw wheeled past my room.

The Bad:  A splint that was so tight that the pain kept me awake for nearly two days straight.
Silver Lining:  I can appreciate that my new, temporary cast is looser and, thus, less prone to cause me pain.

The Bad:  Being out of work.
Silver Lining:  Catching up on blog reading, chatting more in depth with friends, and sleeping constantly (now that I have new pain meds).

The Bad:  Not being able to work out or run.
Silver Lining:  Motivation to work harder when I am given the green light to do so.

The Bad:  Having to travel out of town for a really good surgeon.
Silver Lining:  Having the best surgeon around and catching up with family members who live in said town.

The Bad:  Having to rely on everyone for everything.
Silver Lining:  Feeling loved and a new appreciation for the little things and for the people in my life ❤

The Bad:  Derailed plans of every sort.
Silver Lining:  God is in control; His plan will NEVER be derailed.

Y’all, there is just so much more good than bad that I can’t list everything.

Yes, I’d rather not have done this.  The pain is absolutely horrible; the surgery will not be fun to recover from.

I cannot stand that this happened, but the fact is that it DID happen.  I cannot change that.

So, although I am crying a little sometimes, because I think it’s okay to have short pity parties every once in a while, and although I’m crying a lot when the pain gets to be too much, because even the best medicine wears off, I can already see the good that’s there.

Perspective is everything.

Finding joy in the journey because God is in the lead is my comfort.

Filed under: This-n-That | Tagged: | 2 Comments »

When Overachieving Isn’t Good

Posted on November 15, 2016 by auburnchick

Sunday night, I discovered that one shouldn’t be an overachiever in everything.

After having a wonderful weekend, I’d put on my pretty Victoria Secret flannel pajamas and headed to bed.

It was dark in the house.  I carried a small book and my phone.

Just as I was about to turn on the flashlight on my phone to light the way, my left foot ran into one of the dogs sprawled out on the floor, and I went down.

My book and phone went flying as I tried to break my fall.

I went down on my left side, but the dog cushioned me.

My right leg, however, slammed, and I do mean SLAMMED on my hardwood floor.

I knew, immediately, that I was in big trouble.

I started yelling for the Mr.  He’d just gone to bed.

As he ran out, he asked what had happened.  I could barely talk…just able to say enough about falling over the dog.

After chewing me out for not turning on the lights, we tried to assess the situation.

I couldn’t roll over.  My right leg between my knee and foot were in dire pain.

When I finally rolled over, lifting my leg in the process and placing my foot flat on the floor, the Mr. quickly determined that I needed to go to the hospital.  There was already a knot on the outside of my ankle.

As he started getting dressed, I began to lose it.

I bawled.

Loudly.

Like you hear football players crying when they get hurt during their games.

He put Pele in his crate, and we tried to figure out how to get me to the car.

I could not get up.  Not at all.

The Mr. is not a big guy, and he’s never had to lift me before.

He awkwardly grabbed one arm, and I tried to hop.

That was not working either, the pressure of the jumping inflicting more pain.

Somehow, he finally lifted me up and put me in the backseat of the car.

We live in Podunk, USA.  It doesn’t take long to get places; however, that night, it took f-o-r-e-v-e-r to travel the maybe three or four miles to the hospital room.  Every bump and turn made me gasp.

I bawled in the car.  I couldn’t catch my breath.  I think the Mr. was worried that I was going to hyperventilate.  All I wanted was to pass out.  The pain was absolutely horrible.

He drove up to the ER entrance, and a nurse came out with a wheelchair.  Somehow, they dragged me out of the car.

I held up my right leg as I was wheeled in and processed.  Then, I was whisked immediately to a room in the ER.

A side note that you might find funny.  I’d eaten my famous black bean soup for dinner…along with a piece of my vegan cheesecake.

I’d been gassy all night.  Even in the car on the way to the hospital.  The Mr. was not amused.

In the middle of my pain, as I was being rolled by that kind nurse, to my ER room, I asked him to please forgive if things got stinky.  He totally laughed and told me that if I started farting, he was finished.

Bahahaha.

At least I kept my sense of humor (until the Mr. told me, later, that I’d have to return my sparkly shoes for Rooster’s wedding…a topic to be discussed later).

The ER room became our home for the next seven hours.

I was miserable.  I had nothing for the pain that was coming in waves.

I told the Mr. that it was like the worst toothache ever…like a sinus infection that’s gone into your jaw.

The nurse who wheeled me in was an extremely kind young man…buff too.  Heeheehee.

He prepped me for an IV.

I hate needles.  In fact, I am deathly afraid of them.

Not that night.

He was both gentle and efficient, telling me that I have good veins.

Lucky me.

I don’t know what was going on in the ER, but there were patients suffering far worse maladies than I was.

We saw a LOT of people being wheeled past on gurneys…too sick to lift their heads.  They put a perspective on what I was going through.

Eventually, a doctor came in.  He immediately noticed that I was shaking and attributed it to anxiety.

Well, duh.

He told me that I’d be getting an x-ray.

Next, my assigned nurse, a different young gal, came in and administered some morphine.  It wasn’t necessarily for the pain.  It was, however, for my nerves.

I’d never had it before, but it was wonderful and took effect immediately.

It wore off fairly quickly, though, and I began to shake again.

We waited, and we waited, and we waited.

An x-ray technician came in with his machine.  He was the kindest man ever, so scared to hurt me.  He gently slid the x-ray plate below my leg and asked me to turn my leg a couple of different ways.  He was good at his job and left quickly.

Then the waiting continued.  I could see part of a patient room across the ER.  I prayed for that person.  Whatever was going on in there was pretty bad.  So many nurses went in and out.

I sat with an ice pack on my leg for much of my wait.

The ER doctor came back in at some point and gave me the results of my x-rays.

Things were very bad.  I could see that.

He told me that they were going to admit me, and that I’d be having surgery right away.

My jaw dropped.

I told him that I’m a high school teacher who has real talk with my kids.  I wanted him to be straight up with me.

He told me that I have a trimalleolar fracture.

The English/reading teacher in me heard the prefix “tri” and knew I was in trouble.

I broke three bones in my ankle, y’all.

Because I guess being an overachiever extends to everything I do.

I broke the outside, inside, and back bones around my ankle.

But wait, the fun didn’t end there.

I had also dislocated it.

Which is why it was sitting at an angle.

He told me that it would require surgery.  I’ll probably have to have a rod to put things back together.

Sigh.

When he left, I googled my malady.

I found a blog that I plan on reading more about.  The recovery is going to be a long one.

Sigh.

I cried more.

After accomplishing one of my big goals of running for longer distances, I am now facing a huge setback.

The Mr. made me put my phone away.  The last thing I needed was more stress.

My nurse came back and gave me more morphine.

Good timing, eh.

Speaking about timing, this whole injury is coming at the WORST time ever!

This week, I had:
2 Parent Conferences
2 Observations (administrator-to-me and teacher-to-teacher)
2 Meetings on Monday
1 Meeting on Wednesday
3 Summative Assessments to give my students

Everything has been derailed.

Calgonnnnnnnn, take me away!

Meanwhile, a different nurse was prepping me for a shint.

Basically, it’s like a two-sided cast specially made for my leg.

But, like everything else, I had to wait.

A long time.

And I had to pee really bad.

Getting up to potty was not going to happen.  They couldn’t take the chance on me hurting my leg worse, so this girl had to use a bedpan.

I.

Was.

Mortified.

Completely humiliated.

I have never ever used such a thing.  Sitting down in bed to potty feels so very wrong.

Especially in front of a male, nurse or not.

But I did.

Ugh.

Less than an hour later, I had to go again!  And I wasn’t even drinking anything!!

Fortunately, my female nurse was back, and I wasn’t nearly as mortified.

Having her wipe my behind after I sat in the pee wasn’t fun though.

Ugh.

She was young and so very understanding, though.

Told me that yes, I really did have to go.

Nerves, y’all.

You see, they’d told me that before they fitted me for the splint, they’d have to pop my ankle back into place to fix the dislocation.

I have watched way too much TV.  I knew how painful that was going to be.

Nerves.

I had to pee again before the doctor came back to do the deed.

To his credit, he did give me a pain block…three shots, one for each bone broken…so I wouldn’t feel the pain.

But first, I got Valium in my IV.

A marvelous drug, I tell you.

I also got a big pair of surgical pants…something that would fit over the splint.

Once everything had kicked in, I was good to go.  Yes, I felt the tug, but no, it didn’t hurt much, if at all.

My leg was wrapped, and then I waited again.  This time, I needed the doctor to write me prescriptions for pain and to sign off on my paperwork.

They wheeled me out; the Mr. carried my stuff, including a new set of crutches, and I was feeling pretty good because of the block.  I even sat in the front seat.

We were exhausted.  We had not slept in over 24 hours.

But the pain.  Oh, the pain.  The block wore off, and I tried to cry quietly.  I didn’t do a good job.  After about an hour, the Mr. came in to see me.

I needed my meds.  CVS had been closed when we’d gone by on our way home.  He went back.

I was miserable.

One of my prescriptions was for a muscle relaxer.  That, combined with the pain medication, took awhile to kick in, but when they did, I almost felt normal.  Until they wore off a few hours later.

I managed to eat dinner and watch TV, dozing intermittently.  The muscle relaxer made me tired.

I also learned how to use crutches.  I’ve never had to before.  I’ll be an expert by the time I’m done with this.

The Mr. has accompanied me to the bathroom every time I go.  I don’t trust myself to walk that path on my own.

We settled in for what we hoped to be a better night of sleep.  I woke up at 1:30, an hour late on my meds, and then went back to sleep, only to awaken around 2:30 in a lot of pain.  The Mr. came out and helped me potty, and I settled in again.  Sleep proved to be elusive, though.  The pain where the top of my foot bends has been horrible.  I suspect it’s due to the splint.  I have no idea.

I finally gave up and hung my leg down for awhile.  That’s helping.  I think I just need to change positions more regularly.

Even now, as I type this, I’m carefully watching the clock.  7:30 cannot get here quick enough.  That’s when I’ll get my next round of meds.

I am hoping to go back to work tomorrow, but I am not sure.  Today will tell me a lot.  If I do go, I’ll need a wheelchair.  I am not confident on my crutches…especially if I’m still taking medicine.

We’ll see.

I couldn’t end this post without a big shout-out to the Mr.  He has been grumpy because he’s not used to this, but he’s also taken wonderful care of me.  He’s making sure I eat, and he’s closely watching me to ensure that I don’t take risks…move the wrong way.  He cannot stand to see me hurting.  I think that’s stressing him out more than anything else.

He’s also researching surgeons.  We want someone who specializes in ankles.  I want to be able to run again.  Quality of life is important to me, not just “fixing” the problem.

Chicky and Rooster have been incredibly kind.  I know it must be hard for them to be away.  I talked to Rooster on the phone last night, and Chicky checked on me several times yesterday and already this morning.

I had a long conversation with Super Sis yesterday afternoon.  She listened to me cry.  She listened to the entire story of what had happened and commiserated in her gentle way.  Life keeps us busy, but when we need each other, we set aside other things.

To all of my friends, a huge thank you.  One of them is making soup for me.  She messaged me a few times to ensure that she follows my vegan requirements.

Rebecca started texting me yesterday afternoon, and we texted last night while watching Dancing With the Stars.  I woke up and found this on my Instagram feed…

I totally cried.

I’ll be dancing again soon, that is for sure!

My friend, Leanne, texted me on and off yesterday.  She’s a math teacher at my school, uber-fit, and a lover of all the desserts I bake up each weekend.  Our friendship has grown since last year.  For me, that’s huge because I’m so shy and afraid of rejection.  Love her to pieces.

I’ve heard from other friends such as Barb and Cinda, and boy, am I thankful for the joy our conversations have brought.

Cindy, a friend at school and the gal responsible for setting up subs, texted me last night as well.  She arranged for the sub the system found for me to come back today.

This is such a challenging time for me, but once again, perspective is everything.  When I look at my Facebook feed and see the angst and life struggles that others are dealing with, mine pales in comparison.  An ankle can be fixed.  Pain can be dealt with.  Friendship, through sympathy and empathy, levels the field and makes us all better humans.

I will get better, even if it takes longer than I’d like.

I’ll make my overachieving, can-do attitude work in the right way.

I’ll trust that God’s plan is perfect; that even this will be used for His glory.

I’ll praise Him in the midst of the pain and for the healing that will follow.

As Lysa TerKeurst says, “God is good.  God is good to me.  God is good at being God.”

Even in this…especially in this…He is good.

P.S.  If you find typos in this post, please forgive me.  I’m drowsy now and did not proofread.  I cannot promise that all of my subjects and verbs will agree.  Egads!

Filed under: Christian, fitness | Tagged: , | 5 Comments »

« Previous Page
  • February 2026
    S M T W T F S
    1234567
    891011121314
    15161718192021
    22232425262728

  • Currently Reading

  • Books I’ve Read