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Two Weeks Later…What I’ve Learned

Today marks two weeks since I fell and broke three bones in my ankle in what is known as a trimalleolar fracture.

Today also marks one week since I had surgery to fix this fracture.  I am now sporting twelve pins (that we can count in the x-rays) and one plate in my ankle.  At this time, I don’t know if the pins will come out.  We think they might because there was a patient next to me during pre-op who was having his pins removed by the same surgeon who was doing my surgery, so it’s possible.

I’ve learned a lot during this time…time I’ve spent mostly off my feet.

I have learned that my husband is an angel in disguise.

No kidding.  He really is.

He has a grumpy exterior, but inside, he’s a mush-ball.  He gets upset when I cry.  Except for Saturday, when he told me to stop having a pity party, but it was GameDay Saturday, so I forgave him for that.

I stayed home today while the Mr. returned to work. he left me enough to eat and drink until he could return at lunch to feed me again.

I stayed home today while the Mr. returned to work. he left me enough to eat and drink until he could return at lunch to feed me again.

I have learned that though my faith is strong, it has some growing to do.

I haven’t questioned the “why” of this, but I have questioned the “how long” of it.  I don’t like the wait-and-see mentality, but that’s just how it is with this kind of injury.  It’s a longgggg wait-and-see.

Who has time for that?

Apparently, I do.

I’ve learned that the Lord shows up in a powerful way when I call on him, as I’ve had to do frequently but especially in the middle some of my darker moments…times that come unexpectedly but pack a solid punch to my psyche.

It is during these times when I have been thankful for my years of walking with God; His Word comes to my mind, and I recite verses to call Him close.  He’s there, I know, but He feels more present when I call.

My injury has forced me to slow down and pay attention to the things around me.  It’s a lesson I’ve needed to learn for a long time but have been too busy to make time for.

Oh, the irony of it.

I literally have to watch where I walk right now.  I have to choose my steps carefully.  In doing so, I’m noticing the smallest things.  It’s an awareness that I am seeing carried into other areas.  I find myself increasingly grateful for the littlest things.  It’s amazing how much I really see now that I’ve slowed down.

I’m learning the power that a bath and freshly washed hair can have on a person’s mental health.

The Mr. helped me wash my hair…with the detachable shower nozzle. We got through the experience without him wanting to strangle me with it. Go us!

 

I dried my hair all by myself, while sitting on the toilet lid!!! Go me!!

I dried my hair all by myself, while sitting on the toilet lid!!! Go me!!

I’ve learned that perspective is everything.  I’m trying really hard not to sweat the small stuff.  It doesn’t matter.  It really doesn’t.  Which is why I asked for (and received after asking for this for two days) a cup of Peppermint Hot Chocolate (with soy and without whipped cream).  It was my first in two years.  It didn’t blow up my daily goal in MyFitnessPal, although at over 300 calories, I will not be splurging often.

It tasted divine.

Perspective.

I’m learning that, just as new bruises are beginning to make their appearance, I’ll have unexpected bumps in the road, but God is gracious, and He will provide me with the means to overcome them.

Physically, this is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to deal with.  Emotionally, it’s certainly challenging, but in a different way from other things I’ve experienced in my life.

I am a work in progress; this is part of the molding process.

It’s not always fun, and it’s certainly not always pretty (check out my greasy, pre-washed/eight-day-old hair)…

No comments about my team loyalty, please. We could do with a bit of an overhaul as well. Just sayin'.

No comments about my team loyalty, please. We could do with a bit of an overhaul as well. Just sayin’.

Still, I am #findingjoyinthejourney, hills, curves, and bumps included.

The Best Gift

Today is my 45th birthday.

The best gift I received, not disparaging those gifted by others, was a phone call.

A 7am phone call.

From my mom.

She had no clue what day of the week it was.  Her stay in the hospital robbed her of her ability to distinguish between actual days (Monday, Tuesday, etc.).  The same thing happens to me during summer vacation when I’m home for two months straight.

She did, however, know the date…my birthday.

She apologized for not sending a card.

This is coming from the woman who, two days prior, was beginning her thirteenth day in the hospital…after a brain aneurysm.

I told her, nearly in tears, that she was giving me the best gift possible…a phone call…from a woman whose life was spared.

We had a lovely chat; her voice sounded stronger than it had the day before.

She’s discovering what her limits are (walking around Walmart without the aid of a motorized wheelchair or walker is out of the question).

She’s experiencing new aches and pains as her body continues to heal.

Still…she’s alive.

After we hung up, I got ready for church.

At church, one of the songs we sang was Amazing Grace / My Chains are Gone.

This song always brings me to tears but especially so today.

God is so merciful.  His plans are perfect.

I do not know why He does what He does…spares some people pain and not others.

I’m not brave enough to question why.

All I know is that I continue to be grateful for ALL of His gifts…today being that of my mom’s life.

Thank you for the well-wishes on Facebook, Ravelry, and via text messages.  My heart is full of joy.

Early Christmas Morning Musings

Although I am 44 years old, there resides inside of me the heart of a child.

This I felt as each minute ticked by last night.

To put it simply, I could not go to sleep.

I tried everything…

Praying…for EVERYONE.

I thought about books I’d recently read.

I tried to picture what it was like that very first Christmas when the shepherds heard the Good News.

I envisioned Mary, sitting in awe as the Magi came to see her baby.

I believe I dozed off for a while, only to awakened around 3:30am.

I never really went back to sleep. I’m sure there’s a nap in my not-too-distant future.

Finally, I gave up and got dressed.

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In case you need proof of the time, take a look…

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Cali and I had some quality time together…

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We enjoyed the view of the tree…

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As I type this, I’m still waiting for the rest of my crew to get up.

Anticipation.

It pales in comparison to that which was felt by all who waited for the Savior.

His arrival was not what people expected. I sincerely doubt that in that day and age, where stories of formidable gods and goddesses abounded, anyone expected the King of Kings to descend upon them so humbly.

A few willing hearts recognized Him, though. Their diligent waiting paid off, and they were rewarded with the revelation given to few so early on.

I pray that I will always carry with me this child-like anticipation…daily looking for God’s revelations to me in the midst of everyday tasks.

I am humbled that He came down, in the mere form of a human, to save the likes of me.

Merry Christmas, my friends

Impromptu Worship Time

On Friday, as I was headed to school to begin my day, I listened to the radio…Family Life Radio…as I usually do.

A song came on that I’m not sure I’ve heard before.

Oh, how the words and the instrumentals spoke to my heart.

It was still playing when I arrived at my destination, so I sat in my car, tears in my eyes, as I spent time in worship, simply grateful for my heavenly Father who loves me so.

I love these unexpected moments when my heart connects with God’s.  I continue to be amazed at His timing…soothing words spoken to my soul…words of peace, love, and joy…just when I need to hear them the most.

God in MeDaniel Doss Band

It’s not the melody that brings me to You
It’s not even the words that burn in my heart
It’s not the wonderful sounds that cause me to sing
It is knowing You and what You’ve done in me

You are the song of my life
You are the dance in my feet
You are the voice of my heart
You are God in me

You are the bread of my life
You are the life giving drink
You are the everything
You are God in me, yeah

So I will sing my life a song to remain
And whatever I do it’s all for Your fame
Because it’s your beautiful self that causes me to sing
About knowing You and what You do in me

You are the song of my life
You are the dance in my feet
You are the voice of my heart
You are God in me

You are the bread of my life
You are the life giving drink
You are the everything
You are God in me

Yeah, me in You and You in me
I will never stop knowing the joy that You bring
And me in You and You in me
I will never stop tasting, tasting Your goodness
Oh, Your goodness

Oh, You are the song of my life
You are the dance in my feet
You are the voice of my heart
You are God in me

Oh, You are the bread of my life
You are the life giving drink yeah
You are the everything
You are God in me, yeah, yeah, yeah

Unglued – A Proper Book Review

So, I’ve mentioned the book, Unglued:  Making Wise Choices in the Midst of Raw Emotions, by Lysa TerKeurst, a couple of times over the last few weeks.

I thought it was time for me to properly review it.

I learned of this book when I read a devotional series, authored by Lysa, on my phone.  I knew I had to order the book.

I limited myself to reading only one chapter per day because I wanted to really think about what I’d read.

I underlined more things in this book than I ever have when reading.

I made notes.

I copied quotes and added them to my Goodreads log.  I also shared tidbits on Facebook.

Every.

Single.

Chapter.

Was.

Powerful.

I saw myself on EVERY. SINGLE. PAGE.

Lysa writes in a style that is conversational.

It’s as if you and your BFF are having a chat over coffee (or in my case, Frappuccinos).

There were chapters devoted to what kind of reactor you are when faced with emotional situations…are you a stuffer or an exploder?

There were subcategories.

I like to be organized, so this suited me.

She explained what kind of reactions she has and gave specific examples.

This was, perhaps, one of the best things about the book…how she opened up and gave honest, heartfelt accounts of situations she’d been in and how she had, oftentimes, come unglued herself.

She gave practical steps…steps that even I can follow…on how to handle the raw emotions that we encounter.  I am going to type them up and put them on my bulletin board at school.

I was validated in some of the ways I handle stressful situations and comforted by the fact that I haven’t always messed up.

I think what I appreciated the most about this book was that I didn’t feel alone or less like a Christian because of how I handle myself when I come unglued.

By the time I closed the book, I felt empowered.

Oh yeah.

For an overachiever like me, planning is huge, and feeling empowered makes me more confident to accomplish, to the degree I expect of myself, the tasks I set in front of myself.

I also felt better equipped to understand others…to recognize how they handle themselves in unglued moments.

I am of the firm opinion that I will be a better mother, coworker, and teacher because of the time I spent reading this book.

Teenagers, especially, need help working through their feelings.  They need to be taught that 1)  It’s okay to feel what they feel, and 2) How to handle themselves when such situations occur.

This book was a godsend, let me tell you.

I highly, highly, highly encourage you to get your hands on a copy of this book.

The lessons have the potential to change your life.

How Did I Get Myself Into This?

Sometimes I could just kick myself.  I often allow myself to be talked into something and then start hyperventilating afterwards.

I’m sure you have NO idea what I’m talking about.  You’re probably MUCH smarter than me.

I had innocently shown up for Bible Study on Wednesday night…written notes in the margin of my text…actually prepared for a change.  The leader of the group sat down and began by telling us of a need in the church.

Always eager to help, we began to listen with rapt attention.

My church hosts an annual ladies’ retreat.  The ladies are treated to a luncheon during the weekend.  Women in the church decorate the tables where the ladies sit to eat.

Yeah, you’re probably beginning to see where I’m leading you, eh?

This year, the church is short 11 hostesses.  That’s 88 ladies who need to be prepared for, with each table hosting eight women.

My Bible Study leader finished explaining and turned her eyes toward me, who happened to be playing Teacher’s Pet by sitting beside her.

That will teach me!

I adamantly refused at first, and she questioned why.

I’ll try to explain.

I’m not exactly good at playing hostess.  I’ve had very little experience doing so.

I do not regularly invite adults to eat at my home.  I’m afraid that I’m a bit socially inept.

Ok.  Simply put…I’m shy.

And I lack confidence.

I am no Martha Stewart.

To be fair…I’m not required to cook for the women at my table.  Thank goodness.  I could just hear Chef Ramsey yelling obscenities at me.  Maybe he would hold back since it’s a church, but I’ll bet you anything that a few mild ones would escape from his mouth.

The tables only need to be decorated with place settings and other accents. Each hostess gets to select a theme of her choosing.

Now…something else I feel like I’ve done that set me up for this is that I’ve talked too much…about my knitting.

I know a few of you who read my blog.  You’re my IRL friends too.  You know that the above sentence is undeniably the truth.

If you spend an hour with me, you’ll quickly learn that I LOVE to knit.  I’ll show you whatever is in my knitting bag at the moment and even pull my feet out my shoes to show off the latest pair of socks I’ve just finished.

So, it was natural for Ms L, as I’ll call my leader, to say, “You could do a knitting table.”

Great.

Why did she have to pick something I like so much.

“No,” I insisted.  “I cannot do this.  I’m not creative.  Just because I can knit doesn’t mean I can put plates, napkins, and a centerpiece together in such a way that they won’t want to throw up.”

Reading a knitting pattern is easy compared to free handing.  I mean, I was taught to color in the lines and trace pictures, for heaven’s sake.

Ugh.

You know what I think it boils down to?  I’m afraid that my table won’t measure up to the other hostesses’ tables.  I do not want to embarrass myself.  Sometimes I think that I’m a teenager stuck in an adult body (although I was mistaken for a 12th grader yesterday…a story for another time).

As these thoughts ran through my mind, I think I heard the Holy Spirit speak to me.  The message I heard was that it’s not about me.  It’s about God and serving Him.  It’s about putting my worries in His more-than-capable hands.  It’s about letting go of my pride.  He will provide the ideas.  I just need to trust.

Another lesson in trust…only in a different area of my life.

So, just like the regular job that God has blessed me with, I’ll trust that He will send me a vision of what this table is to look like.

If you have any suggestions that do not require extra money, please let me know.

Here’s what I need:

A centerpiece…small enough for the ladies to see over so they can talk to one another.  I’m thinking about using my humongous knitting needles stuck into a basket with yarn (acrylic yarn cakes…not my good stuff, mind you…church is for sinners, and some thief might just walk off with my yarn…said in jest…sort-of).

I have to provide eight sets of dinner plates (can be china, everyday – mine is chipped, acrylic, or fine paper as they are only chargers), dessert plates, flatware, glasses and/or coffee cups, and napkins.

I also need salt and pepper shakers, a butter dish, sugar dish, and water and/or tea pitcher.

Oh yeah…the overall theme of the retreat is flip-flops.  I wonder if I can incorporate this into my knitting-themed table.

At the bottom of my “instruction sheet” is this verse:

“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for me,…It is the Lord Christ you are serving.” — Colossians 3:23-24

Yeah…I think I’m supposed to do this table.  I’m just going to need some help from my heavenly Father and earthly friends.

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