AuburnChick's Adventures

Dear Self,

This is a post that you need to read around the beginning of November every year you teach.

Go ahead and add this task to your calendar.

You see, around that time, you become very discouraged.

I’ve watched it happen.  After all, I am you.

I’m writing this post to encourage my discouraged self.

As you’re reading this…in the future I mean…you’re feeling frustrated because your classes are over the honeymoon phase.

The kids seem to be trying your patience at every turn.

You are, most likely, questioning why you are doing this for the money you are being paid.  Enduring disrespectful behavior just doesn’t seem to be worth it.  Keeping up with stupid state education mandates is pushing you over the edge.

You’re wondering how in the world you wrote those glowing end-of-the-year reflections…posts that made you cry as you typed them.

You’re thinking that you’ll never gel with your current batch of kids like you did the previous year, and your feelings are getting support every time a former student visits to give you a hug and tell you how much he/she misses you.

You’re longing for that happy feeling you had the previous spring.

I’m writing to tell you to pick up your head…that things begin to change around January after students return from Christmas break.

Despite the fact that you’ve seen this happen each of your years of teaching, you somehow forget.

For some odd reason, students become serious about their schooling after Christmas.

There might be a correlation between their realization that their GPAs are in the tank and that semester exams are around the corner.

Either way, reality is beginning to bite them in the butts, and they begin to realize that 1) You might actually know what you’re talking about and 2) They might be spending another year in Intensive Reading if they don’t change their ways.

This is a beautiful combination that results in students holding each other accountable for their classroom behavior, and you find yourself actually enjoying less-interrupted lessons.

Let’s get real, though.

You know that your favorite part of your job is the relationship-building that you do.  That is why you worry so much each year when it seems to be taking forever for the kids to trust you…when they insist on bucking you with the same stupid infractions.

It’s precisely because you do hold them to task each slip-up that they realize, around this time of the year, that they can take you at your word…that you will be an adult they can count on…that it actually takes more time to hold them to task than to let things slide.

I want you to know that it is around this time that the special personality of each class you teach begins to cement itself.

Each class is unique due to the individuals who form each group.

Thus, you cannot expect what makes one class laugh to make another do the same.

You’re now forming different inside jokes…stringing different memories together that will make each slideshow at the end of the year special in its own way.

So take heart.

Things DO get easier.

Do not cave because you were meant for this profession.

You were meant to be awkward.

You were meant to dry tears.

You were meant to cajole and inspire.

You were meant to tell the girls they look pretty and joke around with the boys about football.

Even on the toughest days in November and December when kids do not want to work…when everyone is counting down the days until the holidays and, thus, see no reason to work..have hope.  The light at the end of the tunnel is but a speck at that point of time.

That speck grows larger by January.

Before you know it, Spring Break and then the end of the year will be here.

Then you’ll wonder what you were so worried about, and you’ll laugh at yourself for being so dramatic.

And you’ll do it all over again.

These are the things you need to remember.

Trust me.

I know, for we are one and the same.

Love,

You’re somewhat-less-stressed-Self,

AuburnChick

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Yesterday, my students took a Context Clues test.  I’ve revamped my tests this year so they will resemble the format of the new reading test that Florida students will take in April.

As such, my tests take awhile to complete.  It’s often difficult to lesson plan for such days because I am never quite sure how long it will take for all of my students to finish.

Today, many students finished much earlier than I’d expected.  We’ve been working on context clues for nearly two months, and I test them on this skill every couple of weeks.

Thankfully, now that I’ve got some experience under my belt, I was able to quickly improvise.

First, I asked students to finish the 2-Column Notes graphic organizer they had begun the day before.  We are working on gathering evidence from two articles to use in an essay we will write in class.  My students need to be walked through each step very methodically, so everything takes A VERY LONG TIME to finish.

On Monday, I had modeled, and they had completed (with much assistance), one side of the graphic organizer with a one-page article.

Tuesday’s task involved reading a two-page article and completing the second side of the graphic organizer.

As usual, I’d over-planned, so most students had not finished.

It was the perfect thing for them to do while some students were still working on their tests.

The second thing I gave students to complete was their weekly Text Connections sheets.  These are, in effect, their reading logs.

I gave them the freedom to manage themselves, and I periodically walked around to make sure students knew what to do.

They assured me that they did.

This was major progress, you see, because I often feel like a traffic cop directing the ebb and flow of action in my classroom.  It can be exhausting at times.

Every single student was engaged in a task, which allowed me time to work with students who are usually off-task.

A little secret I’ve learned over the years is that this behavior is usually a sign that students are overwhelmed by the tasks laid before them.  In my students’ cases, they often do not understand the directions or need them broken down into itsy bitsy steps…like one paragraph at a time steps.

That’s what I did today.

I had to walk away a couple of times and was shocked when I turned to look at the students I’d been helping.

They were working quietly.

They completed the entire graphic organizer.

Because they’d had one-on-one help while the rest of the class was quiet and, hence, not interrupting me.

:::jumping on my soapbox:::

This is why class sizes need to be very small…especially for remedial reading classes like the ones I teach.

:::stepping off my soapbox now:::

I really had no idea how much of an impact today had until one young man, very energetic and talkative…and opinionated…told me, “Mrs. AuburnChick, today was good.  There was a good vibe today.”

There was.

I wasn’t stressed with a too-full agenda, and students actually had all of the time they needed along with an environment they could focus in.

This is something they aren’t always used to, I hate to admit.

The new standards…the new test…the STUPID teacher evaluation system (i.e. VAM)…are making teachers like myself rush through class periods, running helter-skelter to pack everything in.

I’m pretty good about breaking down tasks and taking things slowly, but I’ll admit that I am guilty of allowing my own pressures to seep out onto the kids.

My student’s reflection reminded me that it’s okay…it’s actually very important…that we have catch-up days.  I don’t need to justify them, because as the teacher, I know what’s best for my classroom.

My students’ spirits were buoyed, as was mine.

Days like that energize me.

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One of the toughest things is saying goodbye to a student.

Today, I did just that.

This young man’s attendance was very sporadic.  When he did show up, there was a lot of the typical drama you associate with teenagers.

He and I had a bond, though, because he knew I had taught two of his siblings.  Thus, he trusted me immediately.

As a result, he spent time after class and before school, talking to me about his struggles.

The list was long.  Out of respect for his privacy, I won’t share the specifics.

We always had “real talk,” where I didn’t mince words.  He never minded, because he knew that he could count on me to not sugar-coat things.  Though I’d like to be a Pollyanna, I can’t do that disservice to children who have been hardened by life’s harshest realities.

One thing he told me during our most recent conversation was, “Mrs. AuburnChick, what do you expect?  You know my last name.”

I looked at him with an incredulous expression.

This young man had fallen into an age-old trap…the trap of the self-fulfilling prophecy.

I have a feeling he was looking for sympathy.

What he got, instead, was a frank talk.

I told him that he is not defined by his name.

I told him that his excuse was a cop out.

I told him it was time to pull up his boot straps and step out of the muck that had become his life.

I shared with him some of my story…how I could have easily allowed myself to become someone else had I used the excuse that I was only following the path laid before me because of my name.

This young man’s family is very troubled.  His siblings have not made the best choices…a fact that is very disheartening given that I’ve taught a few of them.

I reminded him, for the umpteenth time, that he could break the cycle…that it boiled down to his choices.

He didn’t show up for class yesterday, and I started worrying.

That’s why I was so relieved when he came to see me during lunch.

He’d come to say goodbye, though, and my heart started breaking.

He’s not dropping out of school, thank heavens, but he won’t be where I can check in on him…where I can be the mama he needs in his life.

This will be hard.

I told him I’d be here if he needed anything, and I sent him away with a promise that I would pray for him.

As he left, tears rolled down my face.

I think I’ve already mentioned that it’s hard to say goodbye.

Though he’ll be out of sight, his name will forever be imprinted on my heart.

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Dear Students,

Today was Monday…

Boy, was it ever.

I’ve been home from school for several hours and have had time to reflect on the day.  Now, as I find myself wrapped in my fuzzy white robe, I feel the need to share some of my thoughts.

Because I care, I meticulously plan each day’s lessons…with you in mind.

Because I don’t want to waste a moment of your time, I expect you to begin working immediately when you enter my classroom.

Because I know that you haven’t had the opportunity to travel and experience much of the world yet, I throw mini-lessons into larger strategies…to help you create background knowledge from which to draw upon when you read something later.

Because you don’t have much consistency in your life, I hold you accountable for your actions…good and bad…so you’ll see that there are people in your life you can trust to be the same day in and day out.

Because I want to enlist others in your life in my attempt to create a well-rounded individual, I will call your mama, your daddy, your auntie, and/or your grandmama…whoever is on your list…brag on you or ask for help…so you will see that you have many people on your side, cheering for your success and lifting you up when you fall.

Because I know there is more to life than football, basketball, band, dancing, or cheering, I will expect your best work…each and every time…and I will not “give” you extra points just so you can earn an A to bring up your GPA.  A future employer will care that you mix up “their” with “they’re” or don’t use complete sentences when you write.

Because I don’t believe you will grow without being stretched, I will require that you explain your thinking, analyze evidence, and re-do your work, even if you’re “pissed off at the world…” because I know that life must continue…even on the crappiest of days.

Because I know that you often cannot talk to your mama, your daddy, your auntie, or your grandmama, I will give up my planning and my lunch period to listen to you pour out your heart.  I will wipe your tears, give you a hug, and offer words of consolation without judging you…because you already feel judged by your family, peers, and even strangers.

Because we all have bad days, I will welcome you back into my classroom every day…with a fresh start…ready to lay the previous day to rest.  We all need a fresh start…because we are all in need of forgiveness.

Because I want to build a relationship that speaks of love and respect, I will cry after hard class periods, agonize over the best ways to reach you, hesitate before hitting submit on the discipline referral screen, and pray for better ways to handle differences.  I will mostly blame myself because I am the adult, even when you should be shouldering part of the blame.

Because God has given me the privilege of looking past what others see as “typical teenage behavior,” I will enter each day with whispered prayers of thankfulness and heartfelt requests for guidance when I seem to lack direction.

When it seems as though I’m not on your side, remember that I am still there…not for a paycheck (I could be making a LOT more elsewhere) and not for the “short” days and summers off.  I’m there because I answered the call…because I don’t want to let you down…because I know that it’s only November, and June will be here before we know it…along with tears of sadness because of the bonds that will be forged tightly by then.

Don’t ever doubt my words.

Just because.

Love,

Mrs. AuburnChick

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Today, teachers at my school administered a progress monitoring writing assessment…one of a few that is being used to tailor writing instruction in preparation for the BIG statewide writing test in February.

Today, I watched my students take deep breaths as they prepared to receive their writing prompt packets.

Today, I watched students gasp as they heard the packets hit their tables.

Today, I saw some students get down to business as they immediately began reading the texts they would be responding to.

Today, I watched other students begin to shut down, overwhelmed by the task ahead of them.

Today, I watched a young man who struggles daily with self control grab his hair with both hands in a sign of frustration.

Today, I heard his refusal to do the assignment, unable to fathom the thought of comprehending a prompt he didn’t understand and text he had no interest in.

Today, I coaxed that child to give it a go with gentle words that promised he just had to try.

Today, I looked across the room from my perch and nodded approval and assurance to the same young man.

Today, I sat up in surprise as I observed that young man begin to write.

Today, I watched a different young man, sitting at his “island” sink lower and lower in his seat, also overwhelmed by the packet on the desk in front of him.

Today, I heard his refusal and saw him shake his head in rebellion.

Today, I gently urged him to not let the system beat him.

Today, I watched him gingerly turn a page, start to read, but stop midway through the first page.

Today, I slid my chair over and told this young man that I had bragged on him in front of another class because he had shared a poignant idea in his own class.

Today, I told that young man that I believed in him…that he WAS smart…that it was okay to let others see what I had witnessed so far this year.

Today, I watched him begin and stop a second time in aggravation.

Today, I dug down deep and told the young man to pretend he was reading a rival high school’s basketball playbook…to search for the secret reasons why this school has such a phenomenal team…knowing that the way to this young man’s heart was through his favorite sport.

Today, I watched this man plow through endless words, pick up his own pencil, and add his own thoughts to his own paper.

Today, I was inspired by my precious students…young men and women who have to work ten times harder than most kids…to rise above what they thought themselves capable.

Today, I was reminded what a true honor it is to watch young minds truly stretch and grow.

Today was a good day.

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