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Diary of a Cake

Dear Chicky,

Mama tried her best to get me prepared before you went back to college, but Pele ruined that for everyone.

I wanted to let you know that after you left and the smell cleared out, she did a good job.

The ingredients were ready…

All she had to do was throw them into the mixer.

In the middle of mixing, the mixer went haywire and started spewing forth smoke.

Still, Mama persevered, slowing the machine down enough to finish the task at hand.

She carefully baked me, and I cooperated by coming out of the pan in one piece…

I saw her reach for her camera, along with a knife…

She mercilessly dug her fork in, stopping for another picture…

She even, not-so-kindly, managed to send you this picture, proving that she had, indeed, eaten that bite afore-photographed…

As of this writing, there’s less than half of me left.  Your daddy has been sneaking pieces all day.  I fear that the end is near.

But, we will meet again…at Thanksgiving.

I’ll be counting down the minutes.

Love,

Your Favorite Chocolate Chip Not-in-a-Bundt-Pan Cake

Paula Dean to the Rescue!

I want to give a shout-out to all of the moms of teenage daughters.

Keep the faith.  Have hope.  You will one day get along with your girl-child again.

I am evidence of that.

My Chicky, as you know, surprised me with a visit home this weekend.

Every time I remember the sight of her sitting on her bed, waiting for me to enter, I tear up.

We had the most fabulous weekend EVER!

It didn’t take her long to set up shop in the bathroom…

She complained that Rooster had not cleaned her sink while she was gone.

Hello?  With a double vanity and nobody using that sink, why should he?  I promised to do so before she returned for Thanksgiving.

I didn’t see much of her Saturday.  She, Guy Friend, and the friends they had brought home with them headed to the shopping plaza on the beach for a day of fun.  Then, they went to Guy Friend’s house, where his mom cooked everyone dinner.

I was content to stay home and work.  I was not about to make Chicky feel guilty about not spending every moment with me.  I was happy just knowing that she would be returning at the end of the evening.  Being able to give her tons of hugs made up for the time she spent away.

Did we argue?

Nope.

When she came home, she showed me the OPI fingernail polish she had bought.  She even told me that I could use any of them.  I did…

Chicky and I share a love for nail polish, and I appreciated her thoughtfulness.

On Sunday, we all got up and went to church.  When we got there, I saw that Guy Friend and his mom had moved across the church to sit with us.  It was wonderful.  We took up the entire pew with our families and the two friends that had come home with the kids.

My heart swelled with pride.  I felt like we were showing off the family.  Just being able to worship together, after three months of Chicky being gone, was so wonderful.

I left Chicky and Guy Friend at church so I could run to the grocery store to pick up a couple of items for lunch.  The plan was to cook Chicken Parmesan and make the Chocolate Chip Cake that I’m known for.

Let’s just say that this is where things took the kind of turn that makes my life stay in perpetual turmoil.

While I was in CVS (another errand), my phone rang.  It was the Mr.

“AuburnChick, did you let the dogs out this morning?”

“Yes, I always do.”

“Well, one of the dogs left a huge pile of poop in the kitchen for you, and it smells to high heaven.”

“Aren’t you going to clean it up?” I asked.

“Nooooooooo!!!!!!!!!  I’m gagging here.”  The Mr. has always had an aversion to poop…human and animal kinds.

“Please tell me you’re kidding,” I said.  We’re known to play jokes on each other.

“I’m not.  There is a huge pile of poop, and you have to clean it up when you get home,” he said.

Great.

We briefly discussed which dog might have done the deed.

Pele became the prime suspect…

Don't let his innocent look fool you

We think that Pele must have been constipated the last few days.  For days, I had smelled the warning signs…seepages of poop-infused gas, but I’d chosen to ignore them.  With three dogs and two male humans in the house, I’ve learned to live with odd smells.

Apparently, Pele’s innards finally got the best of him.  Poor little guy.

Now, here’s where I got mad.  There I was running errands, in a rush to get home to my baby girl, who had gone by Guy Friend’s house to say goodbye to his mom.

I not-so-nicely said, “Be a man.  Clean the poop.  Real men clean dog poop.”

I think I might have hung up on him at that point.

I’m nice that way.

I made my way to Publix in a not-so-good mood.

My phone rang while I was there.  It was the Mr.

“Let’s just go out to eat.  The smell is horrible.  I can’t eat with this smell.”

Great.  I had already defrosted three bags of chicken and trimmed the fat and cut the breasts into small pieces.

“Open the windows to air out the house.  We’ll be fine.”

Meanwhile, my call waiting went off.  Chicky was on the other line.

“Mama, I’m home.  I cleaned the poop, and boy was it big!”

She’d used a bath towel to gather up the poop and, without thinking, dumped the “package” in the outside garbage can…without putting it in a plastic bag.  I later reached into the can to get the towel, but it unrolled, and the poop went down into the bottom of the can.

Great.  The garbage people are really going to love me.  I did not dig into the can to gather the poop but left it loose.  Trash day isn’t until Wednesday.

Gag.

During my conversation with Chicky, no mention was made of lunch.

While I was checking out, my phone rang AGAIN.  It was someone…I have forgotten who it was.  At this point, I’d talked to almost everyone in the family.  I think it was Rooster.

“Mama.  Daddy says to buy a candle.  A big candle.  The windows aren’t airing out the house enough.”

Great.

I looked for the biggest candle I could find.

Paula Dean to the rescue.  She does everything big…

By the time I got home, it had been decided that poop smell is not very palatable.

We went to Red Lobster instead and let Paula do her thing.

Everyone ate too much, but I was glad.  It gave us plenty of time for some good conversation.

I learned that “N,” the guy who had accompanied Guy Friend, wants to go into missions work.  “A” is going to become an elementary teacher.  They are from Missouri and are the cutest couple.

Before I knew it, we had to take Chicky back to the house so she could grab something she forgot.  The bathroom returned to normal…

We took family pictures, and then I drove her to Guy Friend’s house.

Oh, the goodbyes…they just do not get easier.

I hugged her and told her how much the weekend had meant to me.

This girl-child of mine…the one who I fought constantly with for the last ten years…had managed to pull off one whopper of a surprise.

I was and still am so incredibly touched.  In fact, my eyes are tearing up even as I am typing this.

The goodbye today was hard.  It’s a little different when she’s on my turf and walking away.

As she said, though, it’s only two weeks until Thanksgiving.

I will be counting down the minutes.

Meanwhile, Paula will be keeping watch over the smells in my house.

Week 14 of Teaching

I cannot believe how fast this year is flying by!  It only seems like a day or two before it’s time for me to post another summary from my latest week!

Week 14 started off with a sweet surprise.  Tigger, MartytheSmarty, and BigTimeGleek bought me a surprise from last weekend’s Festival of Nations…

This is my first-ever teacher gift!!!  I was so touched that they would think of me!!  I just love these girls!

When my students entered my classroom, they were greeted with a different setup…

Because my largest class only has seven students, I decided to remove the two extra desks to allow everyone to have a bit more elbowroom.  It was interesting to watch everyone’s reactions when they realized that there was something different about the room.  This new setup is taking some getting used to, but we’re getting there.

Monday ushered in the beginning of new units in most of my classes.

My 11th and 12th graders began discussing The Scarlet Letter.  We studied chapters one through six this week.  I do not remember enjoying this book nearly so much when I was in high school, but my students seem to be enjoying it.  In fact, several keep asking me what is going to happen…who the father is…etc.

My sixth graders had to turn in the science fiction stories they had written over the weekend.  We had a good time listening as each story was read.  These kids are very creative, and their use of their classmates’ names (along with my own) kept us howling!

My ninth graders were in for a shock when we started a new unit on grammar.  Monday was one of those rough days in which we flew through the unit, and I assigned a lot of homework.  They groaned and even whispered, just loud enough for me to hear, “Well, that’s another zero.”  I was not amused.

Fortunately, my tenth graders were on their way in the door.  They were greeted with this board…

The week would be all about verbs.  Verbs are difficult, but we pushed through direct objects, indirect objects, and lots of other fun stuff.  Blech.

Tuesday…

My sixth graders began reading The Emperor’s Silent Army, which is about a terracotta army that was discovered by farmers in China.  I pulled their vocabulary words from this story.  The kids sat in fascination as we read.  I just love history, so it was the perfect opportunity to combine it with reading skills.

My ninth graders saw this when they entered class…

The day before, I had gotten the inkling that they did not understand how to find subjects and predicates, so I had prepared my board for when they entered.

Boy, was I ever glad too.

After the bell rang, my school’s education director walked in and had a seat.

“Don’t mind me,” he said.  “I’m just going to sit here for a while.”

Oh my word.  I was a nervous wreck.  I realize this is part of his job…observing and evaluating teachers, but it was my first time being observed.

God is merciful, let me tell you, for every one of my students had done all eleven exercises that I had assigned the day before.

This was the first time that all of my students in this class had done their homework…on the same day!

Before we started, I discussed the information on the board.  As we reviewed the answers from the homework, I repeatedly reminded them of the tips I had written on the board.

Over and over…round and round…the students took turns answering questions.

I could see the director taking notes.

I was so nervous.

Just before the bell rang, he left, and I mouthed the words, “Thank you,” to my students.

I was so proud of them.

Wednesday…Hump Day…

Wednesday was about the same as Tuesday.

Thursday arrived, and my juniors and seniors had a quiz on chapters 1-6.

My sixth graders took a vocabulary test…

I took my students to the book fair after they were done…

Book fair at a Muslim school is a little different…

Thursday was good.  I only had to teach three classes because my ninth and tenth graders were taking a standardized test.

A couple of my students came out of class and brought me the pencils they had borrowed.  They told me that they had seen some of their vocabulary words on the test.  In fact, “M,” one of my tenth graders, told me that because we had discussed synonyms for the week’s vocabulary words, he had learned a new word (the synonym), and this new word was on the test!  Talk about timing!  And, the lesson we had the week before on possessive nouns helped him in the many questions that involved apostrophes!

It excites me to see how some of the things that I’ve been doing instinctively truly are preparing my students in a very tangible way!

It was also a half-day, but my day wasn’t over when the kids left.  We had a monthly staff meeting, and we had all signed up to bring food…

Oh yeah.  I went home with a huge bellyache, but it was good going down!

An interesting thing that happened after the meeting was that the education director…the man who had sat in on my class a couple of days before…pulled me aside to tell me that something interesting had happened that day.  In the middle of him sitting there observing my class, he forgot that he was observing and instead became just like one of the students.  The notes I had seen him taking were not about how I was teaching but WHAT I was teaching.

Because he is originally from a country in the Middle East, he is a little unfamiliar with the English language.  Sure, he has a Ph.D., but he doesn’t know the in’s and out’s of sentences, subjects, and predicates.

He went on to tell me that the day after my class, his young son brought home English homework, and he was able to help his son with it because of the information he had learned during my class!

I was incredibly humbled and thankful that God had gone before me and prepared that lesson!

Finally…Friday!!

The day had turned cooler, so I donned my Kai Mei socks and chugged down a cup of hot chocolate before the bell rang…

This was vocabulary test day for all but one of my classes (the sixth graders), so the day was fairly quiet.

My younger students got to read a Time for Kids magazine.  We worked on a handout that I had made copies of…

We read a story about a proposed law to change lunches in public schools.  One student said, “Mrs. AuburnChick, so far this year, we’ve done every subject except for Arabic and Islamic Education in your class.”

I laughed because they are starting to understand how important reading skills are in every subject!

And so Week 14 ended.  I am worn out, again, but I continue to be thankful for a job in which I am challenged on a daily basis and for students who continue to inspire me.  I’m looking forward to a couple of slower weeks (you’ll be reading about them) in which I can hopefully catch my breath and take advantage of some time to get ahead.

A Suprise for AuburnChick

Today was one of those longgggggg days.

Oh, it wasn’t bad, mind you.  It was just one of those days that found me leaving the house at 6:50 and not arriving home until almost midnight.

I had gotten asked to chaperon my first away football game with the band, and boy was I psyched!  I was also reminded how extremely grateful I am to have a job in which I get off early on Fridays (and a wonderful principal who allows me to slip out twenty minutes early in addition to that).

Folks, I was IN MY ELEMENT on that trip!  Being with the other chaperons – the new friends I’ve made this year – made me so happy, as did being around the kids.

I happily skipped with two of the students from the bus to the mall, where we had stopped for lunch.

Yeah, I’m a little weird.

Whatever.

The band played their hearts out during the game, and although Pondunk, USA School did not win, we left knowing that we’d tried.

The way home was interesting.  Strangely, the kids were more hyped than the trip to the game.  I had the unfortunate pleasure of sitting in front of a gal who decided to sing, off-key, the ENTIRE way home.  It was a long hour and a half.  Rooster, who had been on a different bus, later asked me why I didn’t ask the student to stop.  I told him that I was trying to be nice.

Oy.

But, that’s life, and if that’s the worst thing I ever have to endure, then I’m a lucky gal.

On the way home, the Mr. called me twice.  “When are you getting home,” he wanted to know.

I figured he was concerned…especially the second time because it had been a good thirty minutes since I had told him we were fifteen minutes out.

We got home, and Rooster and I wearily climbed out of the car, each eager to climb into bed.

The Mr. greeted us at the door and announced, “I was bored, so I decided to rearrange Chicky’s room as a surprise for when she comes home for Thanksgiving.  Come see what I did.”

I muttered, under my breath, “If you were so bored, you should have cleaned the house.”

I’m nice that way.

Then, as we made our way to her room, I continued, “Chicky is going to kill you when she sees whatever you’ve done.”

I opened her door and turned on the light.

I glanced at her bed, expecting to see it across the room from where it was originally located.

Oh.

My.

Word.

There was a person sitting on the bed.

It took a moment for things to register in my brain.

The person on the bed was my Chicky!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I screamed in surprise while she grinned from ear-to-ear.

I hurried over to hug her, tears filling my eyes.

It had been one month since I’d seen her last, and I’ve been longing to touch that silky, blond hair and wrap my arms around her.

I glanced at the Mr.  He looked quite pleased with himself.

He had known she was coming home since Monday.

Chicky had not posted anything on Facebook in fear that I would find out.  I’m addicted to Facebook, you see, and not much gets past me.

I think it’s safe to say that I will not be getting much work done this weekend.

Oh, she has plans for the morning, and I’ll work then.  However, the afternoon is mine, and I plan to use every second to catch up with my baby girl.

I must mention that it was Guy Friend who brought her home to me.  He had parked his car in a neighbor’s driveway so I would be surprised.

He entered the house after the cat had been let out of the bag.

He was smiling.

I gave him a huge hug that relayed my thanks for having brought my baby home to me.

They each brought home friends, so I have the opportunity to get to know some other young people.

I am so incredibly happy right now.

My girl is home.

This is bliss.

This picture really has nothing to do with my post, but I love it so much that I stuck it here.

 

My Road to Citizenship

So, in my last post, I casually mentioned that I am a naturalized citizen.  It was a fact that I thought I had shared before on my blog; however, Rebecca, who was the very first person to comment on my blog, and who has been a faithful reader ever since, pointed out that she did not know this about me.

Pray tell, folks…how on earth could I have failed to mention this?

That’s not to say that you could not have figured it out if you have memorized the 100 Facts About AuburnChick, but I’ll cut you some slack.  If you’re like me, you’ve got too many other random things to remember, like your children’s birthdays and such.

Ok, so here’s a brief recap of my early life.

Once upon a time, there was a girl.  She was born in Quebec, Canada, to parents who also chose to birth 18 other children.  Her parents were Catholic and owned a farm.  They needed cheap labor.  This was the time before child labor laws existed.

The woman grew up and fell in love with a dashing French man from…where else…France.

They were both in the hotel management business, and they traveled around Canada, in search of steady employment.  They even visited the United States.

However, upon discovering that the woman was pregnant, they went back home to Canada so their child would be born in their home country.

They somehow wound up in Goose Bay, Newfoundland, where they had me…the illustrious author of this blog.

Hence, I was automatically a citizen of Canada.

By the way, did you that the Yarn Harlot’s husband hails from Newfoundland?  This is another reason why our youngest children are destined to marry and in doing so will permanently afix me to that wonderful knitting family tree of hers.

It’s all about the end result people.

Getting back to my story…

My parents traveled some more, lived here or there, and went back to Canada to have their second child, who is known to you only as Super Sis.  She was born in Ontario.  Hence, she too was a Canadian citizen.

We traveled to places unknown before finally settling in Colorado.

My parents divorced when I was young, and my mom married…a few times…I lost count…and we moved quite a few times as a result of said unions/breakups.  Finally, though, I landed in Alabama, where I spent most of my adolescent years.

Fast forward through those years to 1995, when the Mr. and I moved to Miami.  His job had transferred him there.

Well, you know that Miami is one of the largest melting pots in the United States, and I had always wanted to become a U.S. citizen, so I filed my paperwork and waited.  There was a local immigration office right down the road, so it was very convenient.

The entire process took nearly a year.  Finally, I had my “interview.”  I had to put on a brave exterior and drive through downtown Miami to find the right government office.

This was a miserable experience.  Chicky and Rooster were wee things, and I had no idea where in the world I was going.  For a small-town girl, it was s-c-a-r-y.

Plus, it was the middle of the summer, so it was hot, hot, hot.

The first thing the officials checked were the pictures I had submitted – required part of filing for citizenship.  My photos were the wrong size.  I had to leave to find a place that would take “passport size” photos.

Oh my word.

I dared not move my car in fear that I would get lost in the maze of one-way streets.  I don’t remember having the stroller either.  So, I had to tote both children up and down the hot concrete in search of a place that would accept credit cards, which was all that I had.

The kids quickly grew tired.  It was, in fact, past naptime.  Their little faces were red and sweaty from the heat.  I’m sure I smelled to high heaven from the exertion.

I finally found a business, had my picture taken, and went back to the immigration office.  Mercifully, it was finally my turn, and I answered the various “test” questions that every 11th grade civics student should learn.  How many senators are in Congress (100 – two from each state), blah, blah, blah.

I don’t remember what happened after that except that they told me that I would receive something in the mail.

After some amount of time, the length of which has faded from my brain, I received a letter in the mail, informing me that I would be sworn in on April 29th.  It was a few months away, so I had plenty of time to grow even more excited.

We took the kids with us that day.  They had to wait with the Mr. in the back of the auditorium while those being sworn in sat in designated chairs up front.

The entire ceremony was very organized.  When I sat down, I found a package under my chair.  It contained a special message from Bill Clinton, who was the President at the time…

I saw another piece of paper under the President’s letter…

It was such a neat experience.  I remember the speaker calling out the names of the nationalities being represented.  We stood when we heard the name of our birth country.  There must have been over 30 different countries called out that day.  It was astounding!  I felt so proud when I stood.

And then the all-important moment…that of raising my hand and speaking the following words:

I hereby declare, on oath,

  • that I absolutely and entirely renounce and abjure all allegiance and fidelity to any foreign prince, potentate, state, or sovereignty of whom or which I have heretofore been a subject or citizen;
  • that I will support and defend the Constitution and laws of the United States of America against all enemies, foreign and domestic;
  • that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same;
  • that I will bear arms on behalf of the United States when required by law;
  • that I will perform noncombatant service in the Armed Forces of the United States when required by the law;
  • that I will perform work of national importance under civilian direction when required by the law;
  • and that I take this obligation freely without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion; so help me God.

In acknowledgement whereof I have hereunto affixed my signature.

Oh, how I wish I had a picture from that day.  We owned a camera, but it wasn’t digital; however, I doubt that the Mr. would have been able to take a picture because 1) he doesn’t know how to use technology well and 2) he was looking after two active toddlers.

It doesn’t matter.  The day will be forever engrained on my mind and heart.

After the ceremony, we went to The Clevelander, which is a famous hotel/cafe on South Beach. 

We sat outside and enjoyed dinner.  I’m pretty sure I treated myself to a Pina Colada.  How could I not, sitting in that gorgeous setting?!

We people-watched and simply enjoyed the moment.

Then, we went home.

After living in this country for most of my life and finally being named an “official” member of the “family,” I truly mean it when I say that I am proud to be an American.

Voting Day!

I became a naturalized citizen on April 29, 2007.

I’ll never forget the nervousness and excitement I felt the very first time I voted.  I was so scared I would make a mistake.  I managed not to color outside of those little ovals (Mom always taught me to stay in the lines).

Although I’ve voted in a number of elections since my swearing-in day, I always get chills up my spine as I watch my ballot get slurped into the box.

I hope that you exercised the right that so many people fought (and are fighting) to secure for you.

May God continue to bless this amazing country!

AuburnChick’s Political No-No’s

Dear Candidates Running for Political Office,

You keep saying that you want my vote.  If this is true, you would do well to carefully read the following suggestions:

  1. Never call my house and interrupt my “me” time.  Doing so will automatically cross you off my list.
  2. Speaking of never calling, if you insist on breaking rule # 1, then pay close attention to rule #2.  Never, ever call at 9am on a Saturday morning.  First off, it’s not even you calling but some stupid recorded call.  What you are telling me is that you want me to wake up so you can give me the same lame message that you’re giving thousands of other people.  If you want to know what I think, I am available to talk Mondays through Fridays during third period.  If your schedule is too full, do me the favor and let me sleep a couple of extra hours on my day off.
  3. Post your political ads during news talk shows only.  Interrupting Dancing With the Stars with your mud-slinging is the surest way to get you kicked off of the dance floor.  Besides that, I’d hate to see you cry when you didn’t win that mirror ball trophy.
  4. Stop sending me political fliers.  You espouse being “green,” yet you waste thousands of dollars on print ads that I refuse to look at except to ponder whether they are flushable and thus will be of use should I run out of toilet paper (which is a regular occurrence since I’m working 70-80 hours a week and cannot manage to find my way to Target).
  5. Do not show up at Christian concerts on the beach and hand out fliers.  Coming from the purest form of expressing praise for God and meeting up with you is quite the dichotomy.  The intrusion into my height of spiritual bliss is unnecessary and unwanted and will win you no votes from me.
  6. Speaking of public appearances, it would also behoove you not to show up in the parking lot of a high school football stadium.  Really?  Can I not even take my Rooster boy to a game and not be inundated with your message of “Vote for Me?”  While I might like what you stand for, getting in the way of my cushy parking space will cost you my all-important vote.

I realize that in this world, you can’t please all of the people all of the time; however, I am not alone in my views.  In fact, you could call me a spokesperson for the “real” people.  I sincerely believe that following the above rules will push you ahead in the polls and just might secure your elections.

Sincerely,

AuburnChick