AuburnChick's Adventures

After church today, I decided to sit outside and knit.  The weather is glorious here in Florida, and I just love the heat.

So, there I was, knitting my little heart away…

It’s mindless knitting, so I was able to keep an eye out for bugs, especially ants.  I really despise ant bites.  They sting like nobody’s business.

So, with one eye on the knitting and the other on the concrete below my body, I knit.

And then I saw something dark scurry into my line of vision.

It was a brown spider…large enough that I could see each leg.  It had bravely approached my feet.

Now, you probably remember the stories I recently told about my encounters with spiders.

Didn’t read?

Please hop over here.  You’ll appreciate this story much more.

Anyhoo…

I carefully moved my legs to the left, away from the spider, but I did not get out of my chair.

See, I wasn’t ready to go in yet.

I figured that it was high time I take control and not let my fear and total dislike of spiders make me give up my sunning..

So I sat, purling my way back across my row, one eye cocked on that brown spot.

Now, I couldn’t see its eyes, but I KNOW that spider was watching me.

And I KNOW that he KNEW that I KNEW he was staring at me.

It was a classic face-off…kind of like a game of chicken.

Who was gonna move first?

We sat, motionless (except for my needles), waiting…

Then, all of a sudden, that spider made a dash for me, moving at breakneck speed toward the rest of my body.

I never knew a 40-year old woman with knitting needles and a sundress could move so fast!

I think I hopped over the back of my lawn chair, never losing grip of my project.  Lace yarn is a royal pain to put back on the needles.

I glared at the spider.

It glared back (I know this because I’ve never seen a spider that smiles).

I grabbed the metal chair and tried to shoo the spider away.

My goal, despite my belief that spiders are bad and must be exterminated, was not to kill it.

All I wanted was my spot back…to sit in peace.

Well, this must have been the Mike Tyson of spiders, because it did not back away.  It didn’t even flinch!

I tried banging on the driveway with my chair.

Still, nothing.

Do spiders have ears?  If so, this must have been a teenaged critter…ignoring its elder.

Finally, I made one more attempt to shoo the yucky thing away.

And that’s when it happened.

I smooshed it…splattered its innards across my driveway.

Ewww…

I guess my chair was a little closer to that many-legged creature than I thought.

Well, my mood was spoiled.  I was already out of my chair, and I’d had enough sun for the day (as my teensy sunburn can attest to).

I went inside the house to finish my purling, which had been so rudely interrupted.

Game over.

I love winning.

Filed under: Knitting | Tagged: Knitting, spiders |