AuburnChick's Adventures

It’s that time of the school year when teachers everywhere begin, in earnest, the countdown to the final day of class.

Preparations are being made…final lesson plans tweaked…semester exams drawn up.

Inspirational posters, anchor charts, and student works of art are beginning to come off of walls. Folders are being cleaned out, and the recycle bins are overflowing.

Part of the closure progress for me, this year, will be to create individual class slideshows.  I’m a bit of a shutterbug and have taken hundreds of pictures of my students.  At first, they were shy…reluctant to pose for photos.  As their trust in me grew, so did their willingness to participate.

So here I sit, the Saturday after finalizing Smartboard files to be using during the next three weeks of class, working on my final big project for the year.

I’m culling through the aforementioned photos…deleting the blurry ones…and reminiscing about what each photo depicts.

I’ll admit that I am getting teary eyed as I stare at the cap and gown pictures I snapped the first couple of days.  I remember the nervous giggles as each student donned the apparel.  They didn’t know their classmates very well, so they were a little self-conscious, even though I’d set up my “studio” away from the masses.

The walk down Memory Lane continues as I pause at the pictures that depict an activity in which students had to line themselves up by last name.  They were provided one directive:  read the instructions on the board and finish the activity.  It was my chance to observe my students in action.  Not surprisingly, the students who took charge were the ones who continued to lead the class all year long…both in good ways and bad…a great example of how each skill is like a two-sided coin with potential for good and bad according to the intent.

The pictures are very revealing, showing students working together to create projects…having in-depth discussions on how to organize information (they were probably actually discussing the latest gossip)…arguing their cases with vehemence, as depicted by pointed fingers and serious facial expressions.

From beginning to end, I see a progression.

At first, students were very separate individuals.

Then, like separate droplets of water, they came together as one, drawn by common experiences, interests, and goals.

Teaching is very much like parenting.

Teachers are given new babes.  We have to learn the nuances of our charges and use our knowledge to foster relationships.

We encourage.

We set high standards.

We hold students accountable when they aren’t meeting the standards.

We equip them for life without us.

And then we watch them walk out of our classrooms on that final day, say a prayer as they leave, and wave goodbye with tears in our eyes.

Sorting through these pictures helps me to remember what a privilege it is to have the chance to impact so many lives in such a short span of time.

The pictures, which show many activities, broad smiles, and even raised eyebrows of sarcasm, bear witness to a year of hard work, friendship, and lots of love.

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One might think it strange to read that, despite the looming FCAT test dates for 9th and 10th graders (most of my students), I would find myself feeling as though I am awakening from a fog that can only be likened to the kind one feels after having slept for a long period of time.

When I decided to become a teacher, all I envisioned were the 7am – 3pm days…happy smiles on the faces of children who enjoyed learning and did quite well at it.

Nobody ever told me that this profession is, perhaps, one of the most time-intensive and mentally grueling of any that I could have chosen.

As a mother, I had no idea that learning did not come easily to children.  My own babies were in advanced programs and seemed to struggle very little with academia.  I couldn’t understand the hullabaloo about FCAT because my children easily scored 4’s and 5’s each year.

And then I became a teacher…

Of struggling readers…

Who are also at-risk students…

Who come from unstable homes.

That’s when reality set in.

Teaching is a profession that calls for 12-16 hour days.

It is a profession in which your mind never turns itself off, and you find yourself thinking about a lesson plan when you hear a line in a sermon (my pastor compared the show Once Upon a Time to a Christian’s complacency in the church…even using the word metaphor).

It is a profession in which you write down ideas by the light of your cell phone during movie previews in a crowded theater all because you saw a trailer that sparked your imagination.

I just completed a survey put out by my state’s department of education.  It asked participants to rate the effectiveness of the educator preparatory institute the participants had attended enroute to certification.

The survey left off a question…that is, “How well did the program prepare you for the percentage of your heart that you would give away?”

There’s no way any program or even another educator can effectively do this.

The more I’ve learned about teaching these past three years, the more I’ve grown to accept that between the months of August through May, my brain will stay mushy, and my head will live in a fog that consists of swirling thoughts of learning styles, personalities, assessment results, and learning benchmarks.

It is only toward the end of the school year when a teacher finds him/herself coming out of that fog, awakening, if you will, and discovering that a non-teaching world exists and that yes, there is a semblance of a “regular” life that can be led in the after-hours of a school day.

That is the point where I am currently residing, and please forgive me for saying this, but I am LOVING it.

I know that I’ve given every effort to prepare my students for FCAT.

I know that I have much to learn and will certainly improve over the years; however, I can sleep soundly knowing that I did things better than the year before.

This great awakening is good for me and my students.

They get to see a side of me that is a bit less stressed…a bit more go-with-the-flow.

This does not mean that we will be watching movies until the end of the year, for Mrs. Auburnchick does not run her classroom this way.

My classroom will instead be transformed into one that is not dictated by a government-mandated pacing guide or a VAM (a teacher’s performance rating based on student achievement).

That, my friends, is something to celebrate.

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Today, as the last bell rang, one of my students stayed behind to gather her things.

She’s a sweet young lady who was in my class last year.  She was moved from one class period to another when her schedule was adjusted multiple times for various reasons.  The one constant for her was keeping me as her reading teacher.

This year, she wound up in my class again.  It’s been an honor to watch her grow in maturity as she’s handled some very difficult situations in her life.

Today, as she was leaving, she apologized for her classmates, many of whom are simply giving me fits.

I have tried so many things with that particular class and just cannot seem to hit on something that works consistently with them.

It has been so frustrating…especially when I see a few students who are focused and working so hard to pass FCAT.

Hearing my little girl apologize made me sad, and I told her that I felt as though there was something I wasn’t doing right.

As a teacher, I have to look at myself because I am, after all, the adult…the one in charge of my classroom.

It’s been difficult, though, because I do not have these behavior problems in my other classes, so I don’t know exactly what I am doing wrong.

Of course, I didn’t say these things to my student, for it would be in appropriate to discuss them with her, but she is a sensitive young woman who has a heart for those who are having a hard time.

My heart warmed as she said, “Mrs. Auburnchick, you have tried EVERYTHING to help us learn.  It’s not your fault if some kids don’t want to.”

Wise words.

Still, I know there’s something I’m missing.

Unfortunately, it’s April.

There’s not much time left in the school year.

I have to try to figure things out, though, so that I won’t feel as though this year has been a waste of time.

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