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No Neutral Exchanges

Posted on March 1, 2014 by auburnchick

Every morning, while I get ready for work, I listen to Family Life Radio on the clock radio I keep in my bathroom.  This is a Christian radio station.

On Wednesday, Peter and Shannyn interviewed tobyMac…

I had the privilege of hearing him perform when his band played in Florida a couple of years ago.  The picture above is one of many I took that evening.  I blogged about it here.

I don’t remember what question Shannyn asked Toby on Wednesday (I think it had something to do with interacting with people), but his response is something I probably will never forget.

He said, and I paraphrase, “There are no neutral exchanges.  You can either tear someone down or choose to speak life.”

Wow!  Those words hit home immediately.

I’d had a rough start to the week and had cried after my last class had left on Monday.  Conversations with my students had not gone well before the bell had rung, and I felt discouraged.

On my way out of school that day, I talked to a friend, a new reading teacher, and she asked what I was more stressed about…lesson planning or something else.  I told her that I worried about my relationships with my students which was why I was so upset.

I also told her that I had learned that our challenge was to rise above our students’ emotions.  I know that I need to be even-keeled, not affected personally by outside influences that affect my students’ moods and, ultimately, our exchanges.

Unfortunately, I am often reactionary.  It’s a habit that I am trying to break.

Toby Mac’s words spoke to my guilt-ridden heart.  I realized that every time I have a conversation with a person, that person will walk away either beaten down or uplifted.

There’s no in-between.

Period.

It was quite the eye-opener, and as I drove to school, I prayed that God would help me be more self-controlled.

I wanted to be more purposeful about the words I would speak that day.

I’ll tell you something.  It was hard.

There were quite a few times when I caught myself in the middle of saying something in a way that could have been taken negatively, so I worked really hard to either not say those things or change them into positives.

I wasn’t perfect, but I was much better, and it made a huge difference in my attitude.

I was calm all day.

I spoke slower.

My students responded to my attitude by being calmer and less argumentative.

Did I still hold kids accountable?

Yes.

Did I still mark them tardy?

Yep.

The difference was that I responded to them in a positive manner.

Was I perfect on Thursday?

Nope.  I had a negative exchange with one student that I wish desperately I could do over.  Was I completely at fault?  No.  As the adult, though, I could have said things differently.  I’m going to work on fixing that.

I am going to have a sit-down with my students and explain this whole concept of choosing to speak life or tear down.

I’m going to put this on a poster in my room with the hopes that it fosters a positive, supportive classroom environment.

Can you imagine what a different world we would live in if everyone ascribed to this philosophy?

Oh, and here’s Toby’s song, Speak Life, which now has taken on a whole new meaning for me.

“Speak Life”

Some days, life feels perfect.
Other days it just ain’t workin.
The good, the bad, the right, the wrong
And everything in between.

Though it’s crazy, amazing
We can turn a heart with the words we say.
Mountains crumble with every syllable.
Hope can live or die

So speak Life, speak Life.
To the deadest darkest night.
Speak life, speak Life.
When the sun won’t shine and you don’t know why.
Look into the eyes of the brokenhearted;
Watch them come alive as soon as you speak hope,
You speak love, you speak…
You speak Life, (oh oh oh oh oh oh) You speak Life. (oh oh oh oh oh oh)

Some days the tongue gets twisted;
Other days my thoughts just fall apart.
I do, I don’t, I will, I won’t,
It’s like I’m drowning in the deep.

Well it’s crazy to imagine,
Words from our lips as the arms of compassion,
Mountains crumble with every syllable.
Hope can live or die.

So speak Life, speak Life.
To the deadest darkest night.
Speak life, speak Life.
When the sun won’t shine and you don’t know why.
Look into the eyes of the brokenhearted;
Watch them come alive as soon as you speak hope,
You speak love, you speak…
You speak Life, (oh oh oh oh oh oh) You speak Life. (oh oh oh oh oh oh)

Lift your head a little higher,
Spread the love like fire,
Hope will fall like rain,
When you speak life with the words you say.

Raise your thoughts a little higher,
Use your words to inspire,
Joy will fall like rain,
When you speak life with the things you say.

Lift your head a little higher,
Spread the love like fire,
Hope will fall like rain,
When you speak life with the words you say.

So speak Life, speak Life.
To the deadest darkest night.
Speak life, speak Life.
When the sun won’t shine and you don’t know why.
Look into the eyes of the brokenhearted;
Watch them come alive as soon as you speak hope,
You speak love, you speak…
You speak Life, (oh oh oh oh oh oh) You speak Life. (oh oh oh oh oh oh)

You speak Life, (oh oh oh oh oh oh) You speak Life. (oh oh oh oh oh oh)

Some days life feels perfect.

Filed under: Christian, Teaching | Tagged: , | 1 Comment »

Christmas Is…

Posted on December 25, 2013 by auburnchick

What is Christmas to you?

Is it a holiday in which a man in a red suit delivers presents to boys and girls?

It is a time of “good feelings” when people do nice things for each other?

It never fails to amaze me how many people celebrate via cultural traditions with scarcely a nod toward the ONLY reason for the holiday.

Christmas is a time of remembering the One who came down from heaven, in human form, to grow up among the people He had created.

He came to be with us, a world composed of people condemned to die because of sin, so that He could pay the ultimate price…be the final sacrifice for sin.

Christmas is a time of receiving…not giving.

We receive God’s gift to the world…Himself.

If you take away the man-made traditions, that’s all that is left…God and His selfless love for us.

I pray that we (me included) never fail to remember what Christmas really is about.

I hope you enjoy the day with loved ones.  Merry Christmas!

Filed under: Christian | Tagged: | Leave a comment »

BPrayn

Posted on December 16, 2013 by auburnchick

Last week, as I went through Chick-fil-A’s drive-through on my way to work, I saw the following license plate on the car in front of me:

It was something that made me smile.

I was reminded that I need to be praying at all times…in all circumstances…for all things.

What a great motto for life, eh?

Filed under: Christian | 1 Comment »

Unique Gifts

Posted on December 15, 2013 by auburnchick

This morning at church, we sang Little Drummer Boy.

I’ve sung this song more times than I can count, but today, something in the lyrics struck me.

First was the fact that the little boy didn’t think he had any gifts that measured up to the baby’s kingly status.

I identified with that feeling.

How many times do I compare myself to others?

It doesn’t take much for me to feel inadequate…a staff meeting…a passing comment made by a coworker…a blog post written by an educational guru.

As I moved beyond the first couple of lyrics, my reflections changed.

The little boy produces his drum, and plays for the baby, who smiles at him in return.

My gifts often feel so small.

I measure myself by what others do…or at least what they say they are doing.

I count myself unworthy because of who the recipient is.

God doesn’t care, though.  He only cares that I use what He has given me.

I can’t say that I offer my students the same kinds of lessons that other teachers offer their students.

I can’t say that I serve in the same way that other Christians serve.

What I can say is that I wake up every day loving my children.  I try to make sure they feel that love through texts, messages on social media, and regular voice-to-voice conversations.

My classroom lessons are concise and follow a logical sequence.

More importantly, though, my students are loved…from the band aids I provide to the “real talk” I engage them in…my gifts are time and the refusal to give in when the going gets tough.

Those are the gifts I lay before my King.

I hope that one day, He will smile at me too.

Filed under: Christian | Tagged: , | Leave a comment »

Thankful

Posted on November 28, 2013 by auburnchick

It’s very, very late, or early, depending on your perspective.

I spent all of yesterday evening baking for the family that is coming over later this morning (it’s after midnight as I’m writing this).

I began thinking about what to write for this holiday post, and of course, with it being Thanksgiving, my mind turned to the things I am grateful for.

This has been an interesting year in many respects.

There have been some highs and some lows.

The lows have been especially rough.

In May, we lost Aubie, our beloved fur baby, after having her in our lives for nearly fourteen years.  I still have not recovered, and tears quickly come when I think of her or pass by her collar, which hangs near my kitchen table.

In early June, I went through a difficult time at work and left for the summer trying to extract the knife that had been thrust into my back.  It was not fun, and I spent the entire summer healing from the wounds inflicted on me.

In August, I moved my Chicky out of my home into a house she had rented with two roommates.  It was a bittersweet time.

A few short weeks later, she experienced a season-ending injury that devastated all of us.

Mama Dot’s passing a few weeks ago was so sad as a chapter in all of our lives came to a close.

Just two weeks ago, I learned that one of Chicky’s childhood friends had been killed by a drunk driver.  My heart continues to grieve for her family.

I haven’t listed the above events to obtain sympathy, for we must all bear burdens.

I write of them to remind me and explain to you how God’s grace has led the way through the dark times.

If you read my blog regularly, you know that God opened up the way to Chicky’s first teaching job shortly after she got hurt.  She’s now been teaching one month, and though it has been difficult, she’s coming into her own, making “big girl” money and becoming financially independent.

Her rehab from her injury and subsequent final game during Senior Night (playing over twenty minutes) inspired so many people, and her surgery next month and the recovery that will follow will ultimately strengthen her.

My time in the wilderness after being so hurt at the end of the school year led to a summer of much-needed rest and introspection.  I drew closer to God and found a small group at church that forged close bonds.

Aubie’s passing made me realize how I’d taken her presence and her joy for life for granted.  I spend as much time with Pele, Molly, and Gambit now, and they are showered with even more love than before, if that’s possible.  I realized, after Aubie died, just how much of a family member she was, and I don’t want to have any regrets with my other fur babies.  I know they are animals, but they have unique personalities and contribute so much to my family in the love that they give unconditionally.

Rooster’s return home to attend college locally has been a blessing.  I missed him terribly last year, and having him come out and greet me when I get home from work soothes the sadness I feel by Chicky’s absence.  Conversations with Rooster are full of lots of love and sarcasm.  He’s an amazing young man.

I am thankful for the classes I have this year.  The students are well-behaved, don’t curse in front of me (at least not very often), and ultimately seem to appreciate my attempts to help them.

I could go on for days, but I won’t.

I will say, though, that as I think about the good and bad times, I clearly see God’s hand in all of them.

From the special song He put on the radio the morning after Aubie passed away to the email that was delivered to Chicky’s inbox days after being hurt…He was there, making Himself known, letting me know that no matter what happens, He is holding me up with His strong hands.

Today, I am thankful for God’s mercy, extended to me.

Filed under: children, Christian | Tagged: | 2 Comments »

A Girl, A Knee, God’s Mercy, and God’s Perfect Plan

Posted on October 31, 2013 by auburnchick

You have no idea how GLAD I am that I can finally write this post!!!

You see, this is a story about a girl, a knee, God’s mercy, and His perfect plan.

You might remember that a month and a half ago, Chicky tore her ACL and, thus, ended her soccer career.

We were completely devastated.

Soccer was her life.

Then, a few days after the injury, Chicky got an opportunity to interview for a teaching job.

When she shared the news with me, I cried, and we talked about how, if she had not injured herself, she wouldn’t have been able to go to the interview.

So, she interviewed and got good feedback.

She toured the school and fell in love with it, the school’s philosophy, and the administration.

But she had to wait…

For a month…

Until she finished her internship…

Before she finally got the call.

It was the call that offered her the position as a 2nd grade teacher!!

We are all overjoyed.

Jobs are difficult to come by these days.

Chicky’s student debt is huge thanks to her private school tuition.

God is providing.

The thing that makes us even more grateful is the way God showed His mercy…in such a tangible way…so early into the trial she was forced to endure.

Life is full of difficult events that we must go through.

Oftentimes, we don’t see the good that He’s working…at least not immediately.

That’s not to say that He isn’t there working out the details.

I praise God that He did reveal Himself so early on.

I believe it was an act of mercy and compassion to begin healing Chicky’s broken heart over the unexpected end to her season.

My Chicky is officially a teacher.

I couldn’t be more proud or more thankful for God’s perfect plan.

 

Filed under: Christian, Teaching | Tagged: , | 2 Comments »

Aloof?

Posted on October 17, 2013 by auburnchick

Last night, on Facebook, I read the following post by Lysa TerKeurst:

How bad is just a little gossip?

The Bible warns us that gossip will separate close friends and I believe it. There is nothing worse than to feel betrayed by a friend’s careless words. The Bible also warns us that what we sow, we’ll reap. In other words, if I gossip about others, I can almost bank on the fact that others will soon be talking about me.

Think of what a great gift it would be tell a friend that you’ve made the commitment to never say anything dishonoring about her. You know, I know how great this gift is because I had a friend make this commitment to me. And now my heart feels so safe with her. The trust we have is rare and beautiful.

I firmly believe that to have a great friend, you have to be a great friend. And becoming a woman who refuses to gossip is a wonderful place to start.

Oh, how this spoke to me.

Gossip is a topic that I’ve struggled with…especially after I returned to the workforce when Chicky was in middle school.

Being at home full time, it was much easier to avoid gossip.  I’m not much on socializing, so I really wasn’t around a lot of people.

Working outside of the home changed that.

I remember when I worked in an office full of women.

Oh the stuff I heard, even on my first day at one place, would have curled your hair.

Even though I try to avoid it, it’s nearly impossible.

I work hard not to talk about people, but I know I’m not perfect.  The times I have gossiped, I’ve tried to justify with lame excuses such as, “I just needed to vent.”

Yeah.

Right.

Why not call it what it is.

Something I have been really convicted of the last two or three years, though, is sitting places where gossip is going on around me.

Even though I may not be actively participating, am I any less guilty?

I mean, I am still listening, and by listening, aren’t I condoning the words I’m hearing?

What choice do I have?

Well, one of the choices I often make is to remain aloof.  Often, people see this as either stuck up or anti-social.

I am neither.

Well, maybe I am a little anti-social, but I operate better in very small groups, such as ones or twos.

I fight myself, though, wanting to be part of a group but feeling uncomfortable when stuff is being said about someone, although I will admit to guilty glee when the conversation turns to a person I’ve had a serious run-in with.

Still, I am a very loyal person, and if someone tells me something, I’m not a person who will run and blab it to others.

I want to be trustworthy and honor my friends, and I hope that I receive the same treatment in return.

I want people to believe I am a good friend because they trust me…because they know that I won’t gossip or say bad things behind their backs.

Gossip is a bad thing, to be sure, and I pray that the Lord shows me the best way to handle uncomfortable situations.

I pray He gives me the courage to remove myself from those conversations quickly, gracefully, and in a way that honors Him.

Filed under: Christian | Leave a comment »

Impromptu Worship Time

Posted on September 29, 2013 by auburnchick

On Friday, as I was headed to school to begin my day, I listened to the radio…Family Life Radio…as I usually do.

A song came on that I’m not sure I’ve heard before.

Oh, how the words and the instrumentals spoke to my heart.

It was still playing when I arrived at my destination, so I sat in my car, tears in my eyes, as I spent time in worship, simply grateful for my heavenly Father who loves me so.

I love these unexpected moments when my heart connects with God’s.  I continue to be amazed at His timing…soothing words spoken to my soul…words of peace, love, and joy…just when I need to hear them the most.

God in MeDaniel Doss Band

It’s not the melody that brings me to You
It’s not even the words that burn in my heart
It’s not the wonderful sounds that cause me to sing
It is knowing You and what You’ve done in me

You are the song of my life
You are the dance in my feet
You are the voice of my heart
You are God in me

You are the bread of my life
You are the life giving drink
You are the everything
You are God in me, yeah

So I will sing my life a song to remain
And whatever I do it’s all for Your fame
Because it’s your beautiful self that causes me to sing
About knowing You and what You do in me

You are the song of my life
You are the dance in my feet
You are the voice of my heart
You are God in me

You are the bread of my life
You are the life giving drink
You are the everything
You are God in me

Yeah, me in You and You in me
I will never stop knowing the joy that You bring
And me in You and You in me
I will never stop tasting, tasting Your goodness
Oh, Your goodness

Oh, You are the song of my life
You are the dance in my feet
You are the voice of my heart
You are God in me

Oh, You are the bread of my life
You are the life giving drink yeah
You are the everything
You are God in me, yeah, yeah, yeah

Filed under: Christian | Tagged: , | Leave a comment »

Not Skilled to Understand

Posted on September 17, 2013 by auburnchick

Yesterday was not a good day.

I woke up nervous for my Chicky, for it was the day we anticipated receiving the results from the MRI she’d had on Friday.

Her appointment was set for 2pm Eastern time.  I am an hour behind, so I sat quietly in my room during lunch, knitting and praying for her.

The angst grew with every passing minute until I was finally able to talk to her.

The news was what we had feared most:  her ACL had been completely torn.

Sigh.

I cried with Chicky as she shed tears over the phone.

It.

Was.

Devastating.

She didn’t stay on the phone long, too overcome with emotion to say much.

She didn’t need to talk, for my heart connected with hers in the way that mamas and their children link up.

I felt her pain as it reached out and gripped my soul.

We have been through this disappointment before when she tore her left ACL during her first year of high school.

That news had shattered us, but we had the promise of more years of play.

She came back from that injury and played the next six plus years of her career with sheer brilliance and mastery.

This time is different, because this is her senior year of college.

We are holding out a glimmer of hope that her coach’s petition for red-shirt status will get approved; however, we are realistic enough to believe that this may not happen.  Still, who is to say what God has planned.

And so my heart is heavy.

I am trying hard not to say, “It’s not fair,” for to go down that road would open me up to the resentment that would follow, and I will not allow that negativity into my life.

Instead, I am going to focus on the positives:

  • Chicky is alive.  I can hear her voice whenever I want (or whenever she answers the phone).  I know people who are grieving for family members they lost in recent days, so this gives me pause to be thankful.
  • Chicky can still walk, despite being pummeled during the hundreds of games she has played in over the years.
  • Chicky has played soccer for sixteen glorious years, and she has glorified God by using the talents He has blessed her with in Every. Single. Game.
  • Chicky has inspired so many people with her determined attitude and the fearlessness in which she has attacked each challenge she has been presented with.
  • I got to attend Chicky’s last full game of soccer…a game in which she scared the bejeepers out of me, but also one in which I was reminded, once again, just how special of a young lady she is…both on and off the field.

With all of the positives, I cannot forget the most important one:  that Chicky is a Christ-loving, God-serving young woman who has a bright future ahead of her.

I know she is hurting right now, but I believe that at the core of her heart is an attitude of trust in God’s perfect plan for her life.

Her days ahead will be tough, and her recovery will be painful.  This I know from the last time; however, I have no doubt that she will face the surgery and rehab with the same gusto and bravery that she has used when defending her team’s soccer goal against some of the fiercest opponents that ran her way.

I continue to trust in God’s promises, and though I am not skilled to understand, I know that He alone is wise, and He alone knows the plans He has for my sweet girl…plans to prosper her.

Chicky, I love you my precious daughter.  Hold on to the Lord during these difficult days and trust in His goodness.

Filed under: children, Christian, soccer | Tagged: , , , | 6 Comments »

Keep On Keeping On

Posted on September 15, 2013 by auburnchick

It’s hard to believe that the weekend is just about over, eh?

I don’t have any news on Chicky.  Her team’s trainer is going to try to get her into the doctor’s office tomorrow to get the results of the MRI.  We probably won’t know anything until tomorrow afternoon.

She sounds okay…her usual annoyed self at my hovering, although I will say that I didn’t call until tonight.

And so we wait…

And pray…

And we continue living our lives, albeit on the edges of our seats, trusting God for His perfect plan to play out.

Thank you for your continued prayers.  They are very much appreciated.

 

Filed under: children, Christian | Tagged: , , | Leave a comment »

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