• Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

    Join 78 other subscribers
  • “Writing, to me, is simply thinking through my fingers” — Isaac Asimov

  • Recent Posts

  • Pages

  • Categories

  • Archives

  • Blog Stats

    • 195,689 hits

One Tough Cookie

Sorry I haven’t posted in a few days.  The days have passed by in a blur since Friday when Chicky had her surgery.

We drove down on Thursday and met Chicky and her roommate for dinner.  Chicky was in a very chipper mood despite knowing that she would soon be having her knee cut open and a new ACL constructed from her patella.  Her Tweets reflected her eagerness to get the surgery over with.

After we returned to the hotel, I caught up on reading my emails and found a couple from my students (they also attached the essays that had been due the day before)…touching thoughts wishing my Chicky well…

We spent Friday morning shopping for groceries at Sams and Publix.  We knew that we wouldn’t be in any shape to put a lot of effort into cooking, so we wanted to be prepared.

We were told that her surgery was scheduled for 1:30.  Showtime at the surgery center was 12:30 for prep work.

We arrived as told, given a pager and instructions on how things would proceed, and then waited.

Chicky was taken back by herself first to get an IV set up.  Once she was prepped, we were called back to wait with her until it was her time to be taken to the operating room.

We were very nervous, but once again, she surprised us with her winsome smile and easy laughter.  She even allowed me to take a picture of her giving a big thumbs up.

Her roommate arrived at the surgery center and went back to talk to her for awhile.  She left soon after so we could spend the rest of the time with Chicky.

We noticed her appointment time come and go without her being taken back.  It turned out that her actual surgery time was between 3 and 5, and the doctor was running a bit behind.  He had twelve surgeries that day.

Whew!

Finally, he stopped by, and we got to meet him…a very soft-spoken, calm man who, it turned out, hails from a town not too far from us.  Chicky showed him her right leg…the one she was being operated on…the one she had to write the word “Yes” on…the one that her roommate had a bit of fun with and wrote the word in various languages…

We got to ask questions, much to Chicky’s chagrin (she’s all grown up at nearly 22 years old, don’t you know), and we were left to wait some more.

Hurry up and wait seems to be the name of the game when you’re talking about anything medical related, eh?

Still, the staff was very kind and accommodating.

The dreaded moment came when we had to part with Chicky.  It was hard to watch her walk away, but she was laughing as she did, flanked on both sides by animated surgical assistants who, it wound up, were playing rap music in the OR.

We had been told that the surgery would take an hour and a half…two tops.  I set my timer, and we began to grow anxious as we watched the time creep past one hour forty-five minutes.  When it passed two hours fifteen minutes, our stomachs started flip-flopping.  At 2:20, our pager went off.  It was time to have a consultation with the doctor.

He met us in a private room and assured us that the surgery had gone very well and that there was no other damage.  Praise God!  I had been concerned that there might be extra stuff he’d have to fix.  MRIs don’t always show everything.

We were sent back to the waiting room for another twenty minutes before our pager went off for the final time.  It was finally time to be reunited with Chicky.  I was nervous.  The last time we’d visited her in recovery had been bad.

To our surprise, she was sitting up…very groggy…but in a pleasant mood!  Her head kept hanging over, and she kept dozing off, but she was smiling.

She made me take a picture of her leg with the immobilizer on it and post it on Instagram.

Modern technology, eh?

I was shocked when the nurses had her get up and walk, without crutches, to the bathroom to get dressed.  She was on so much medication that she couldn’t feel any pain, and she was able to dress herself, with me standing with my back to her but still in the room with her.

It wasn’t long before we put her in the car and headed to her house.  Still in a good mood, she joked the entire way…albeit slurring her words a bit.  She settled on the couch and had a lucid conversation until the Mr. left to return to the hotel.  I was staying with Chicky.

Chicky watched TV for a while, got up to potty…all the while walking without crutches…and even tried to clean up the house!  She did a bit of a dance before heading to bed.

Ahhh…the effects of anesthesia.  How very deceiving they were!

The Mr. returned the next morning and found a cheerful Chicky.  She’d had a good night and was still motoring around fairly easily.  When he left to return home, we were both laying on the pull-out couch set for a day of watching TV and me waiting on her hand-and-foot.

The rest of the day passed by without too much trouble.

It’s pretty hard to complain when your day looks like this…

Beggar!

Creepy movie…reminded me why I don’t watch these things…

Dog-sitting for the athletic trainer. This little girl has adopted me.

Toward the end of the evening, her pain started to get worse, and her leg started tightening up as the original pain meds worked their way out of her system.

Things turned ugly on Sunday when she woke up barely able to move her leg, in a lot more pain, and feeling very nauseous.  She was also unable to use the bathroom…an unfortunate side effect from the pain medicine.  She finally quit taking her pain meds…simply refused…and I wasn’t about to pull a defensive lineman move, pin her down, and force her to swallow those pills.  She paid the price late that night when she woke up in more pain than she could bear.

She took the pills after that.

God had been gracious, though, and helped her body start doing what it was supposed to do, if you catch my drift.

Poor girl.

That takes us through today, which has been up and down with a lot of aggravation on her part…unwrapping her immobilizer to let her leg breathe…unwrapping and re-wrapping the ACE bandage (I should have taken lessons pre-surgery…seriously)…and still more nausea.

I’m hoping that Christmas Eve will find her able to get out of the house for a few minutes, inhale fresh air, and feel a bit of holiday spirit.

I’m sure looking at my face is getting old by now.

I will say that despite the circumstances, we’ve managed to have some fun.

Our TV time has consisted of episodes of Say Yes to the Dress and Toddlers and Tiaras…both shows I’ve never watched before.

By the way, I find it disgraceful that kids are given sports drinks and such sugar snacks like Pixie Sticks to be able to “perform.”  Sorry to be judgmental, but what are people thinking?!  This show, while funny at times, makes me mad at the way kids are coddled and “beauty” that comes across as fake is applauded.  Sheesh.

Back to this post…

heehee

Please continue to pray for Chicky.  She still has a long road ahead of her.  She will return to work on the 6th.  She has a long way to go before she’s ready.

She’s shown me, once again, what a tough cookie she is…determined to lead life her way, push through obstacles, and come out on top.

I love her to pieces and am grateful that I can be here to take care of her during the toughest days.

All glory to God for the healing He is working in her body and the way He will use her trials to bring glory to Himself.

Going Under the Knife

Today, Chicky is finally going to have surgery to repair her torn ACL.

Because she tore her left one eight years ago (wow, it seems like only yesterday!), we know what to expect this time.

That doesn’t make it any easier though.

She goes under the knife at 1:30 Eastern time, and we sure would appreciate your prayers.

She’s a tough young lady with a high pain tolerance, but this is brutal surgery to recover from, so there will be some long days (and nights) ahead of us.

She’s a very mobile young lady.  Being limited by an immobilizer and a knee that will be painful to bend will not be her cup of tea.

She’s resilient, though, and determined to come back as strong as before.

I know she will.  She the type of girl that champions are made of…full of grit and stubbornness.

Ultimately, it will be the Lord who restores her…of this I am sure.

3 John 1:2

English Standard Version (ESV)

Beloved, I pray that all may go well with you and that you may be in good health, as it goes well with your soul.

A Girl, Her Cleats, a Diploma, and a Single Tear

Friday evening, I had the honor of watching my girl graduate, with honors, from Southeastern University.

The ceremony was held at a large, impossible to navigate to, church in Lakeland (Siri thought it was on I-4 instead of just off of it).

The church was festive, decorated with Christmas lights, wreaths, and trees.

This graduating class consisted of about 192 young people.

Southeastern University is a Christian college that walks the talk it puts forth.  Every part of the commencement ceremony honored God, from the opening prayer, to the congregational hymn, to the speeches that were given before diplomas were awarded.

Quite honestly, this didn’t feel like a college graduation but a Sunday morning worship service.

It was warm and cozy, with graduates sitting in the first few rows and supportive family and friends sitting behind them.

Chicky’s best friend, M, drove from UCF, the college she attends, to watch Chicky graduate.  She’s a lovely young woman whom we’ve had the privilege of knowing for almost ten years.  She and Chicky played travel soccer together for most of those years and only separated when their college paths put them an hour away from each other, playing for different schools.

We consider her a member of the family, so it was with great joy when she sat beside us.

I thought I wasn’t going to cry during the ceremony, but when the music started, and I saw Chicky walk down the aisle, a single tear escaped and rolled down my cheek.

I couldn’t help it.  It was a tear full of pride in my beautiful daughter…for all she had dreamed for and accomplished through hard work and sheer determination.

M and I had quite the fun during the proceedings, let me tell you, and whispered conspiratorially about what we would do when it was Chicky’s turn to walk across the stage.

It wasn’t long before her time came, and it was with great pleasure that I hollered when her name was read.

Chicky, ever the clown, made one of her silly faces and put her hands in the air while making some sort of gesture, the kind of cool gesture that only young folks look good doing, and walked across the stage…

All the while sporting her favorite shoes…

Her soccer cleats.

It was a plan hatched by her and K, Chicky’s roommate and teammate for the last three years.

Mary, K’s bonus mom, took photographs of the girls as they walked back from the stage…

My Chicky is on the right.

Please take a moment to inspect the length of Chicky’s graduation gown.

She, being Little Miss Know-It-All, decided, when ordering her gown, that she’d better go up to a 5’6″ one because she was planning on wearing heels.

Folks, the girl is only 5’2″.

When she tried on the gown before leaving her house, it nearly reached the floor.  It was also extremely spacious around the shoulder and torso area.

It would seem that 5’6″ people are a little bigger in other places too.

What Chicky failed to realize was that no matter if she was wearing heels or not, her body would remain the same size, and that gown would hit her body in the same way it would if she were wearing heels, slides, or soccer cleats.

Please note that the women in my family aren’t exactly known for our common sense.

Ahem.

Regardless, it was a marvelous evening filled with a lot of laughter.

K’s family is precious.  Chicky is so fortunate to room with a gal who has supportive family.  I feel as though our family keeps growing with every friend Chicky invites into her life, and we are blessed for that.  K’s family treats Chicky like one of their own.

Thus, it was no surprise that we went out to eat together afterward, extra friends tagging along.

The Mr.’s parents were also at Chicky’s graduation, able to watch the first of their grandchildren obtain a post-secondary degree.

This morning, before we began our drive home, we met Chicky and K at Cracker Barrel for breakfast.  It was one last chance to see the girls; we shared a time of sweet conversation and more laughter.

I snapped photos, which Chicky agreed to with a minimal amount of complaining.

Mary, K’s bonus mom, later commented (after I texted one to her) that the girls looked older today.

Yes, they sure did.

Although Chicky has been teaching for over a month now, and K will begin working on her Masters degree in January, both girls have firmly planted their feet into the adult world.

It feels strange to say that I am the mother of a college graduate.

I don’t feel old enough, that’s for sure, and I’ve been told I don’t look old enough either (these same people have never seen me before I put on my makeup).

All I know is that I give all of the glory to God, for it wasn’t me who reared a successful child…not on my own, that is…but God’s grace that allowed me to, and for that I will forever be grateful.

Pomp and Circumstance

It’s hard to believe it, but as you are reading this, I am on my way to South Florida to watch my Chicky cross a stage once again.

This time, we are honoring her as she officially graduates from college with a degree in Elementary Education.

She’s been finished for over a month and has been teaching that long as well, but this ceremony is extremely important as it provides closure to four years that went by in a flash.

It seems like only a short time ago when I bid her a very tearful farewell the first August I left her at Southeastern.

You might remember that post.

It was so difficult to watch her walk into her future, uncertainties abounding, and so many hours away from me.

She bravely took those steps and each and every one that followed.

Some were easy and fun, while others were much more difficult.

Her first semester was certainly a challenge as she adjusted to a rigorous soccer schedule and academic classes that would kick anyone’s behind.

She hung in there, faced each obstacle with grace, and finished her program a semester early.

I don’t know that I’ll cry as she accepts her diploma tonight because, unlike the tentative steps she made four years ago as she entered the unknown, she’ll be crossing the stage with confident strides…the walk of a young professional, fully prepared to do the task now in front of her.

I am so thankful for the last four years, the wonderful college where she spent them, and the people she met along the way – each day…each experience a gift from the Lord.

Chicky,

As you walk down that aisle, and as you make your way across the stage, I hope you know that I am so proud of you for finishing what you started.  You are a goal-oriented young woman and always accomplishes what you set out to do.

I am grateful for the good decisions you have made…for the promises you kept to yourself and to God…for the young adult you’ve become along the way.

I love you with all of my heart.

<3,

Mama

Never Enough

Depending on the time you are reading this, I am either getting ready to say goodbye to Chicky, or she has already headed down the road, enroute to her home in south Florida.

If you follow me on Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook, you know that as our time of visiting draws near…as the days become hours…I count down.

I often post pictures, captioned with declarations of anticipation and love.

I count down every hour and minute until I am with her again.

I can picture her reading this and rolling her eyes.

She is, after all, nearly 22 years old.

I can’t help it though, for despite our roller coaster relationship, I love her dearly.

This week has been another special one for me.

As soon as she began her drive on Monday, I waited and prepared.

Once she was here, I made sure everything I did centered around her.

I did absolutely NO work…simply refused…not wanting to miss a moment with her.

There were things I needed to do…cook for Thanksgiving and clean.

Instead, I delayed my preparations so we could shop and eat lunch together.

And now, as I pen this the night before she leaves (I often schedule my posts ahead of time), I can’t help but be sad as her time of leaving draws ever closer.

It’s funny how the first part of our visits are marked with such joy, and melancholy lurks in the shadows toward the end…raring its ugly, selfish head every now and again.

Am I jealous of her life down south?

Yes.

Oh, I know she has earned the right to live life on her own, for she is now a grown up with a big-girl job…making a difference in the lives of the children she teaches and others she encounters every day.

It’s just that our time together is never enough to soothe my mama heart.

I grew up with a mother who didn’t make me feel like I was important to her.

I promised myself that I would never do this to my own children, and I hope I haven’t.

Though I haven’t mentioned Rooster, his being home right now, attending college locally, has made me incredibly happy.  My heart is a little sad as he heads to Auburn for the BIG game.  He’s hoping to score a ticket but will be in the thick of things regardless.  I’ll be counting down the minutes until he returns home.

Such is the way with me and my mama heart.

It’s a heart that can never get enough of my children…adults now and even more enjoyable than I thought possible when they were wee things.

 

Thankful

It’s very, very late, or early, depending on your perspective.

I spent all of yesterday evening baking for the family that is coming over later this morning (it’s after midnight as I’m writing this).

I began thinking about what to write for this holiday post, and of course, with it being Thanksgiving, my mind turned to the things I am grateful for.

This has been an interesting year in many respects.

There have been some highs and some lows.

The lows have been especially rough.

In May, we lost Aubie, our beloved fur baby, after having her in our lives for nearly fourteen years.  I still have not recovered, and tears quickly come when I think of her or pass by her collar, which hangs near my kitchen table.

In early June, I went through a difficult time at work and left for the summer trying to extract the knife that had been thrust into my back.  It was not fun, and I spent the entire summer healing from the wounds inflicted on me.

In August, I moved my Chicky out of my home into a house she had rented with two roommates.  It was a bittersweet time.

A few short weeks later, she experienced a season-ending injury that devastated all of us.

Mama Dot’s passing a few weeks ago was so sad as a chapter in all of our lives came to a close.

Just two weeks ago, I learned that one of Chicky’s childhood friends had been killed by a drunk driver.  My heart continues to grieve for her family.

I haven’t listed the above events to obtain sympathy, for we must all bear burdens.

I write of them to remind me and explain to you how God’s grace has led the way through the dark times.

If you read my blog regularly, you know that God opened up the way to Chicky’s first teaching job shortly after she got hurt.  She’s now been teaching one month, and though it has been difficult, she’s coming into her own, making “big girl” money and becoming financially independent.

Her rehab from her injury and subsequent final game during Senior Night (playing over twenty minutes) inspired so many people, and her surgery next month and the recovery that will follow will ultimately strengthen her.

My time in the wilderness after being so hurt at the end of the school year led to a summer of much-needed rest and introspection.  I drew closer to God and found a small group at church that forged close bonds.

Aubie’s passing made me realize how I’d taken her presence and her joy for life for granted.  I spend as much time with Pele, Molly, and Gambit now, and they are showered with even more love than before, if that’s possible.  I realized, after Aubie died, just how much of a family member she was, and I don’t want to have any regrets with my other fur babies.  I know they are animals, but they have unique personalities and contribute so much to my family in the love that they give unconditionally.

Rooster’s return home to attend college locally has been a blessing.  I missed him terribly last year, and having him come out and greet me when I get home from work soothes the sadness I feel by Chicky’s absence.  Conversations with Rooster are full of lots of love and sarcasm.  He’s an amazing young man.

I am thankful for the classes I have this year.  The students are well-behaved, don’t curse in front of me (at least not very often), and ultimately seem to appreciate my attempts to help them.

I could go on for days, but I won’t.

I will say, though, that as I think about the good and bad times, I clearly see God’s hand in all of them.

From the special song He put on the radio the morning after Aubie passed away to the email that was delivered to Chicky’s inbox days after being hurt…He was there, making Himself known, letting me know that no matter what happens, He is holding me up with His strong hands.

Today, I am thankful for God’s mercy, extended to me.

Hanging Out With My Girl

Chicky’s been home for a little over a day, and if you know me at all, you know that I am probably the happiest Mama around.

Here are some pictures from our visit so far (and the prep work that went into it)…

Buying new mattresses…a horrendous ordeal that deserves its own blog post

 

Got everything ready, including the bedding that I found on clearance. The sunflowers…her favorite…were the final touch and a reminder of how much I love her.

 

Gambit and Cali are best buds…youthful energy that feeds off of each other.

 

The boots Chicky bought me…an early Christmas present because she wanted me to get a lot of use out of them. She also taught me how to put a few outfits together to best utilize the boots. #fashionnerd #dresslikeyouhavesomesense

 

Being a grandpuppy is tiring work…all that loving to endure.

 

Pampering at the nail salon. Chicky got a much-needed pedicure and manicure. I went back later to get a jump start on my Christmas nail art.

I know that Friday will arrive much too quickly, and I’ll be saying goodbye before I’m ready (I’ll never be ready, by the way).

Until then, I’m planning on enjoying every last second with my sweet, precious child.

Another Young Life Cut Short

As I attempt to sleep, snuggled under the covers with my puppies tucked in beside me, I find the sought-after rest eluding me.

Yesterday afternoon, I learned that a young lady Chicky attended elementary school with was killed in a car accident early yesterday morning.

She was the passenger. Early reports say that the car that hit hers was driving in the wrong direction.

When I saw the story on Facebook and read the young woman’s name, I was transported back…to a time of innocence…when school homework involved reading for thirty minutes, and parents scrambled to help the children put together dreaded science fair projects.

Play dates were the order of business after school and helped bridge the transition from school to home.

Moms got to know each other while chaperoning classroom parties, field trips, book fairs, and PTA meetings.

This was the backdrop of Chicky’s friendship with the young woman who lost her life yesterday.

Though it’s been over ten years since I saw this young lady…she, a mere child at the time, her face comes to mind easily.

I remember her dark, wavy hair and shy demeanor. Her younger brother was even more shy than she was!

Her mom was very involved in her children’s lives…hands-on…just as I was. Our love for our children drew us together, and though we moved away, I never forgot this family and thought about them periodically.

Oh, how my heart hurts for them right now.

The picture in the news article, gleaned from the young lady’s Facebook account, shows a beautiful woman, all grown up.

I don’t know what the intervening years brought her, but her picture reveals a love for life.

As I lay my head down, I am reminded that a family is going to bed without being able to say goodnight to the joy of their lives.

What sadness.

I want to put my arms around my own babies and thank the Lord for each day I can tell them I love them.

Please pray for this family and the difficult days to follow. The drivers of both cars were critically injured and need prayers. The driver of the other car, while at fault, needs prayers for forgiveness.

May God’s angels minister to all affected by this tragedy, and may we never take our children or the time we are given with them for granted.

A Letter to Chicky On Her First Official Day of Teaching – You Were Meant to Be…

Dear Chicky,

Today is your first “official” day of teaching.

It is the day that you will finally meet the class that was created for you.

Although you didn’t sound too nervous on the phone yesterday afternoon, I’m sure you’re probably feeling butterflies even as I type this.

I think it’s really neat that, because I am only into my fourth year of teaching, I can easily relate to what you’re going through today…the anticipation…the hopes…the overwhelmingly long to-do list.

You have been prepared for this day by an incredible education.

You know so much more about the “how-to’s” of teaching than I did my first day.  Your students are fortunate, because I know that you won’t waste a second with bad lesson plans because all of your plans are going to be well thought out and based on research-based strategies.

If I can be real honest with you, though, teaching is about so much more than the “how-to’s.”

It’s about building relationships with your children…learning about them as individuals…understanding how their unique traits create a classroom personality that will be different each year you teach.

Cover your children in prayer daily, for you don’t know the homes they come from and the challenges they struggle with after they exit your room.

Build them up with positive words.  Those words will leave permanent impressions upon their hearts.

Remember that you will never be able to love them too much.

There’s simply no such thing.

I am so proud of you!

I am so thankful that those children were handpicked by the Lord to be in your classroom.

Those children will be changed.

Your life will be changed.

Get ready for the biggest roller coaster ride you’ve ever been on.

Hang on tight, don’t take their hurtful words (for they will come) too personally, and enjoy the ride, my precious Daughter.

Welcome to the world of teaching, where you receive far more than you give.

Love,

Mama ♥

You Were Always Special

I wanted to share a conversation that I had after the graveside service for Mama Dot.

I saw a former teacher who had taught me Home Ec and various science classes when I attended Small Town High School.

Her daughter and I were good friends, and we have reconnected through Facebook.

This teacher was the Mr.’s mom’s college roommate and played the piano at my wedding.

She lost her husband a little over a year ago…an amazing man…and my heart has been heavy for her.

As we hugged, we began a conversation that will probably always stay with me.

First, she told me she loved me.

Oh wow.

Can you say powerful?

We shared some laughs about basketball antics that had occurred when I was in high school.  Her daughter and I were on the team, and there were a few funny moments during one particular game.  Perhaps I’ll share one day, if I can determine that I haven’t already.

Then, Ms. “M” said the thing that will ALWAYS sit in my memory, Lord willing.

She told me, “You were always really special.  You were smart, but you were really special.”

The conversation stopped.

I tried to process what she was saying.

Then I said, “Well, I didn’t feel smart.  I worked hard for every grade I got.”

That’s when she repeated, “You were always special.”

I saw her again at the church for dinner afterward and hugged her one more time…her words repeating themselves in my mind.

“You were always special.”

What did she mean, specifically?  I wish I’d asked.

As we drove home that evening, I told the Mr. about our conversation.

He couldn’t see my face as I shared because it had gotten dark, but tears were streaming down my face, and they are right now as I type this.

Growing up, I most certainly did NOT feel special.

I was not pretty…had the ugliest hair cut ever thanks to horrible instructions given by my mother to her hairdresser.  There were no Chis around at the time either.

I wasn’t very popular…or at least I didn’t feel that way.  Other girls always won the awards and got nominated for Homecoming attendant.

I was socially awkward and seemed to say the wrong things at just the wrong times.

What in the world made me special?

Her words have given me pause to reflect.

Her words also made me grateful for a woman who, though out of the classroom, continues to be a positive influence in my life by speaking words of affirmation.

Our conversation was a reminder of how important it is to speak words of love to those we teach.  You just never know when even the smallest comment will touch a person’s soul, just as hers did mine.

Thank you, Ms. M, for being one of the best teachers I ever had.

You were so tough.  Your tests freaked me out.  The way you made us get our tests signed…always when we’d made bad grades…helped keep us accountable.  Even though I got grounded, your encouragement helped me bring up my chemistry grade to an A because I not only wanted to get out of trouble but wanted to please you.

Your Home Ec class was the BEST ever.  I still have the apron I made.  The muffins we baked during the winter months were the best, even if they were from a Martha White package.  Just the fact that you let us walk to the Dixie Dandy each morning to get those mixes made things even more fun (sure can’t do that nowadays, eh?).

You have always been a wonderful mother to D and R, and I envied them for the support you always showed them.

Thank you for lifting my spirits and helping me see my young self in a new light.  Perhaps I’ll be able to let go of some of those childhood insecurities that were created by a false sense of self.

I didn’t say this back to you, but I wish I had:  You were always special to me too.

Love you so much!

♥,

AuburnChick