AuburnChick's Adventures

Once upon a time, in a land not too far away, sat a teacher with a class full of students…

While reviewing themes and symbolism from the book, The Scarlet Letter, AuburnChick and her students got a little delirious.  They were ready to puke from talking incessantly about the book, even though they liked it very much.

It can all be blamed on M.  While sitting in the front of the classroom, he commented that he was creeped out by Mr. Snowman, who was sitting right in front of him…

MartytheSmarty was sitting in the desk beside M.  She narrowed her eyes, and inspected Ms. Auburn Cheerleader, who stared back at her…

Marty looked over at M and agreed that the dolls had beady little eyes and did, indeed, look weird.

To appease M, Mrs. AuburnChick grabbed Mr. Snowman and moved him to the other side of the desk, where, for fun, she wrapped Ms. Cheerleader’s arm around his shoulder.  They were now a happy couple.

Mrs. AuburnChick’s students chuckled a little.

Someone commented that the pair looked a little like Hester Prynne and Reverend Dimmesdale.

In fact, Marty noted, Ms. Cheerleader was even sporting an “A” on her shirt.

The laughter grew louder.

Out of the blue, M pointed to Mrs. AuburnChick’s Christmas mailbox decoration, which was adorned in flowers, and said, “Look!  It’s the rose bush.”

This time, the class erupted in laughter.

Of course, the cast could not be complete without Pearl, who, it was decided, would be be represented by a clear bottle of Purell (note the “P” in the name)…

In the book, Pearl represents truth, light, and purity.  She helps save everyone, just like the hand sanitizer!  The students immediately made the connection, and they laughed even harder.

It was at this point that Mrs. AuburnChick’s devilish side kicked in.

She reenancted the forest scene:

“Hester, I love you,” said Dimmesdale.

“I love you too.  Let’s run away together,” Hester replied.

“I’m too scared.”

(Dimmesdale was a real weenie.)

Fast forward to the last scene on the scaffold…

Mrs. AuburnChick grabbed Dimmesdale (Mr. Snowman).

The students looked on.

She quickly unbuttoned his knit jacket.

In one quick moment, She helped Mr. Snowman throw open his vest to reveal…

A white, furry chest…

The kids nearly fell out of their desks at the hilarity of the moment.

If you’re not familiar with the story, you must understand that Hester and Dimmesdale had an adulterous affair (the story is set in Boston during the 1600s).  Pearl was the child who resulted from their union.  Hester paid the price by wearing a scarlet “A” on her chest for the rest of her life.  Dimmesdale remained silent for seven long, guilt-ridden years, growing sicker physically in the process.  He finally comes clean with his sin by telling the townspeople of his deed and opening his vestment to reveal something or nothing…the narrator never tells us for sure.

Hence Mr. Snowman’s white chest, which continued to leave the question open.

At the end of the confession, Dimmesdale (errrrr…Mr. Snowman) dies…

Hester cries for her beloved, raises Pearl, but marries no one.

And she lived not-so-happily-ever-after.

The.

End.

P.S.  This is a prime example why school calendars have a winter/Christmas vacation (besides celebrating Christmas, that is).  Everyone’s brains have gone to mush.

Filed under: Teaching | Tagged: teaching, The Scarlet Letter |