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A New Beginning and a Lesson in Trust

Look what Chicky was up to this week…

I don’t know if you can tell, but that box contains graduation invitations.

Yet another milestone for the girl…for all of us, actually.

As I write this, Chicky and the Mr. are on their way home from an out-of-town visit.

They were down south, visiting a college.

But it wasn’t Rollins.

It was another college.

You see, the hard week I referred in one of my recent posts was about Chicky’s recent announcement that she wants to attend a different college.

In a way, I wasn’t completely surprised, but the news still came as a shock.  It’s been something I’ve been coming to terms with over the last two weeks.

This has been similar to a grieving process.  Rollins seemed like the perfect fit – academically, athletically, and socially.

I was numb at first.  Then, I got angry.  I asked a lot of questions.

In between those phases, I cried a lot.

I tend to be a woman of my word, so for me, her going back on her promise to play soccer at Rollins just reeked of poor judgment.

Poor Chicky.  I know it was hard for her.  She had wrestled with this decision for a while before getting up the courage to speak her mind.

She told us that she believes that God is leading her somewhere else.  She recently found out that Rollins’ head coach accepted a position at a larger school in a different state.  She took this as a sign from God that this was not the school for her.

She wants to attend a small, Christian college – Southeastern University.  It also happens to be the college that Guy Friend attends, although she made quick assurances that his presence there isn’t the reason she wants to attend (I’m not completely sold on that).

The thing about this college is that the environment is Christian-oriented.  Chicky wants to immerse herself in this atmosphere where partying isn’t the main reason students choose to attend.

The school has a number of athletic teams, including a women’s soccer team.  Guy Friend plays on the men’s team.

I’ve gotta tell you that this has been a defining moment in her life and mine as well.

As a mom, Chicky’s decision has become the event that has led me to let go of her.  I have come to the realization that Chicky is her own person, and this is her life.

For her, I think it has become important that she be the “driver” of her life, so to speak.  I pray she understands that she’s only riding in the front seat beside God, who is really the One in control of her life.

This decision, though, has caused Chicky to take up the reins and drive the vehicle that has turned off the path already paved into the unknown.

She spent the following days calling Rollins’ coaches (oy, but this grieves me so much as I LOVE them), getting her soccer release taken care of, and applying for admission to the new school.  She has also been applying for scholarships and financial aid, as this is another private college and not cheap.

She wants to go, and she’s making every effort to make it happen.

This is a new beginning for her.

It has become a huge lesson of trust for me.

I know that God has a plan for her life.  I don’t know if she’s making a mistake.  I thought, at first, that she was.  Now, I’m not so sure.

But I know that whether it’s a mistake or whether it truly has been God’s plan for her all along, God will use whatever comes to shape her life and make her into the woman He intends for her to be.

The trust comes in letting God do His thing without my worrying about it.

I am also having to learn to trust Chicky.

In the middle of my huge sob-fest, Chicky drew near, tears running down her own face, and asked me to trust her.

I’m trying.  It’s hard.  But God is working on my heart.

This is, quite obviously, a new beginning for me as well.

3 Responses

  1. My daughter is at Rollins this weekend getting to know the soccer team. We were shocked to hear that Tony had left to come to our state and coach! We discussed her going to another school, but she decided that she was primarily going to get an education, it wasn’t all about soccer. She liked the small classes, and, coincidentally, another girl from her soccer club has been recruited. Your daughter is probably thinking along the same lines – college is not all about soccer and when you leave home, its easier if you know someone at the end of the trail. What a growing experience for all of us! It will all be fine in the end.

    PS – your blog has inspired me to knit again and I have purchased yarn to make a prayer shawl from the book “The Prayer Shawl Companion”. I thought of you when I purchased the book (even though we have never met, but I was looking forward to meeting you at a Rollins soccer game!) and wondered if you have seen it.

  2. Hey, I knew what was in the box! Guess that’s the difference between a girl and a boy…if I hadn’t sent the invitations out, they’d still be in the box!
    I know exactly (well, almost!) what you’re talking about in the post. I still can’t believe MS is choosing the big, state university instead of a full-ride to a private school. It really pains me, but, it’s all about letting go, no matter how hard it is and how much it hurts.

  3. Your daughter has chosen a wonderful college. Be thankful she is choosing a college where she will grow in her Christian faith. That’s a great way to prepare for life.

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