…when kids actually expressed appreciation for the things that were done for them.
Please allow me to vent for a few minutes.
Chicky has long been on a course for thinking she is better than me. She’s been in this mind-set since she was in the second grade. I kid you not.
I remember standing at the soccer fields bemoaning her latest mouth-off to a good friend, whose daughter was Chicky’s best friend.
You’ve read about some of her antics, but here are the latest that are really driving me over the edge, which is, perhaps, her goal…to have me committed to the funny farm.
We left for her practice on Saturday…a four-and-a-half hour drive from home. I had decided to make her drive most of the way to give her interstate driving experience. I also wanted her to get used to focusing on the road for long stretches of time since she’ll probably be going away to college in a year and a half.
She protested. Her standard routine is to sit in the backseat of the car and watch movies on her laptop.
It’s an easy life, to be sure. And, honestly, it’s a fair trade-off. We want her legs to be in optimum shape for her soccer practices and games.
She started off driving, and things were going well. I know that she is a safe driver, so I quickly settled into my seat and began working on my Swallowtail Lace Shawl. Now, you know I must have been comfortable to be able to focus on a project with yarn overs, k2togs and p5togs. Oh yeah, baby. That’s what I’m talking about.
We left around 9am, so I didn’t talk much. I wanted to give her a chance to wake up and acclimate to the rhythm of the road. However, as time passed, we said a few things in passing conversation.
This was fine.
Until I stretched out a conversation into more than one sentence. At that point, she glanced at me and said, “Now, Mama, just because you’re sitting beside me doesn’t mean that you can talk to me.”
Did your jaw just drop open? Pick it back up.
She says stuff like this ALL the time.
Just like when she said to me, at the end of the evening when we were settling into bed after her evening practice, and I was shooting the breeze as the sleepies worked their way into my head, “Mama, why do you always do this when we go out of town by ourselves?”
The overall message? Speak only when spoken to.
Perfect, as long as it goes both ways.
Today, I didn’t have a subbing job, so I laundered the clothes, shopped at Sam’s, paid bills, and cooked dinner. Of course, according to Chicky, “Mama, you were home all day.”
Um, yeah, eating bon bons and watching Days of Our Lives. Not!
She called me halfway through the day and asked me to take Airborne to her. She’s either getting a cold or suffering from an allergy attack. I grabbed what she wanted in addition to the Zicam. Of course, I grabbed the wrong form of Airborne, only realizing it when I reached the school’s office.
Oh boy. I warned Ms. D, the attendance lady (also my friend, whom I’ve blogged about before) that she was about to witness the ugly side of Chicky and might just see my ugly side come out as well.
Was I right or wrong?
Mama knows best. Chicky pitched a fit when she saw the gummies instead of the fizzly tablet and refused to take the Zicam.
A stare-down ensued. She must have seen, in my eyes, the image of a cell phone flying out the window. She bowed to my request…command. Ms. D looked at me incredulously saying, “I can’t believe that something that sweet would bow up at you like that.” Obviously, she doesn’t know Chicky as well as I do.
Enter in dinnertime.
I made Swiss Steak, and boy did it smell good. Chicky got home, took one look at it, and turned up her nose. Of course, earlier today, she had texted me some advice an order to look on the Food Network’s website to find a recipe for round steak.
Um, I’ve got it covered, I wanted to say, but instead I asked her if she thought she had passed her AP Biology exam.
Score 1 for Mama.
Needless to say, I’m a bit miffed right now. I’m seriously considering going on a cooking hiatus. She thinks she can cook better? Fine.
In my heart, I know that this is not the attitude that God calls me to, but oh boy. I’m fighting myself, let me tell you. If this had been a conversation between my mom and me, I would have found myself across the room, permanent wooden spoon mark on my rear. She did not tolerate talk like this, and I rarely spoke out of turn.
Just another day in teenager-dom.
Sigh…
AuburnChick's Adventures 
As you say, your Mum didn’t tolerate being talked to like that, and my Mum’s the same. You shouldn’t tolerate it either.
You can do it in a Godly way though by keeping calm, not shouting at her, being fair.
Go on strike for a week. Don’t cook, don’t be her taxi service, don’t do her laundry and gently tell her that you’re doing this because you want her to see just how much you do for your family and tell her how her comments are hurtful to you. And get your husband to support you.
Have you talked with an older wiser Mum at your church who would be able to offer some advice? This is obviously becoming a real problem that needs to be sorted, for your own sanity if nothing else.!
I have talked to other moms. Most people are way more laid back than me, or they are even bigger doormats and let their kids walk all over them without ever grounding them or expecting them to do chores. I just need to stay on my knees in prayer…more for me and that God would change my attitude. Perhaps Chicky’s would follow suit.
First – P5tog???? What the heck!!!!
OK – onto more serious things… yeah, my jaw did drop! Sounds like a “Grown up” attitude – thinking they’ve got it all going on – & yeah, it does resemble a small child throwing a fit, doesnt it?
I just hate that she EXPECTS you to jump & do for her – like the phone call to get the Airbourne & then upset about it not being the right kind? Oh – these are the fun times of teens! I’ll pray this phase goes by quick & she soon realizes what a blessing you are as a mom who is so loving & willing to do for your children!
Hang in there! And yes, I for one would lay on the couch, eat those bon bons – give up cooking for a few days – let Chicky see the life of what COULD be!!!! OH MY! 🙂
Rebecca, you always make me ROFL!!!
It’s funny because my children do a LOT of stuff around the house. They’ve been talking about child labor laws. LOL.
I probably eat a (un)healthy amount of chocolate each day BECAUSE of the drama involved with raising teens!!
I remember pulling major attitude with my mom. Much like you describe Chicky, I had the attitude that I was better than her, from a young age. No idea why or where it came from, but there ya go. It was only until I made some mistakes and grew up a little, had some kids and lived ‘real life’ for a while, that I appreciated all she had done for me. It took a while for her to forgive me, really, but now we’re friends who enjoy each other’s company. Just try to get through it and be quick to forgive when she sees the error of her ways.
I once read that God made babies cute and sweet so we’d love and care for them, and he made teenagers so we’d be ready to let them go…. 🙂
Okay, I am also amazed at a pattern with a P5tog…but I digress.
As a step-mom of two teenagers who apparently hadn’t been told “no” nearly enough before I entered the picture, I have to stress the importance of making sure Chicky (or should I say Chucky depending on her attitude LOL) knows that your primary responsibility is not to be at her beck and call and to provide life on a platter for her to pick and choose (and be verbally abusive) at her will. I say this because we’ve been through entirely too similar situations here, and I know they aren’t pleasant – and unless the child is told what’s what, the parent comes away with a heavy heart and a bad taste in their mouth as the kid goes on their merry way, thinking it’s okay to treat an adult like that. Wrong.
Your responsibility to Chicky is to provide a safe and loving TEACHING environment where she learns to become an adult who serves God and others as well as takes good care of herself. Her responsibility to you (and yes, kids have them) is to treat you with respect, hear you out, and love you even though through a teenage lens she finds you exasperating.
My responses to Chicky would have been simple – “Yes, we WILL talk anytime we are together because you’re my daughter, I love you, and I am interested in you now and always. Talk or listen, your choice, but if you disrespect me, there will be a consequence.”
If she didn’t like what I brought for her to school, I would have said, “Okay, I’ll just take it back home and you can find what you need when you get home. Hope you feel better!” and left.
I think it is so funny how kids text their parents about things like dinner during their school day – the kids know that unless there is an emergency or something they truly need, not to text me during the day. Just my 2 cents on texting because I despise it at school although I know it is done all day long. If Chicky had turned up her nose at my dinner, I would have recommended that she look in the fridge to find an alternate dinner to make for herself if she didn’t want ours – I just keep sandwich ingredients and simple stuff around to avoid a fight if a child is adamant about not eating something because I used to fight about it and it isn’t worth it.
Hope you have better times ahead…I feel for you and will pray for you both.