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A Cloud of Sadness

Last night, I pulled out my Inspirational Study Bible (edited by Max Lucado).

I decided to read Matthew 12, the chapter that my Bible study will be discussing this week.

This Bible has “Life Lessons” that run down the left and right outer margins.  The lessons accompany the current text.

If you have a Bible handy, take a peek at verses 22-34.  These verses are about worry.  The “Life Lesson” on these pages focused on these verses.  Lucado shares a quote by Corrie ten Boom (my hero and the second person I want to meet in Heaven).

Corrie was known to say, “When the train goes through a tunnel and the world gets dark, do you jump out?  Of course not.  You sit still and trust the engineer to get you through.”

I love this!  Times are quite dark right now.  Financially, many in this world are struggling.  Morally, we’re at an all-time low.  And yet, we need to remember that Someone else is in charge of our lives, directing our way toward a final destination that is full of light and joy.

So, why the cloud of sadness today?

After attending my usual church service, I began a quest to find Rooster, who was, more than likely, stuffing his face with breakfast goodies.

I ran into a friend who works at the school I used to be employed at…the place I worked before my position got cut and I began working at the law firm.  It’s been a couple of years since I left, but the staff is like family.  It’s a close bunch.

She told me that it had been a tough week.  I instantly chalked it up to budget woes and the fact that this school is being repurposed (i.e. closed).

She went on to elaborate.

One of the school’s former teachers committed suicide this week.

It was someone I had known well during my time there.

He had not worked there long before I started, so we were both learning the system.  During his employment at the school, he met another teacher who would become his wife a couple of years later.

My very first assignment on my first day of work had been to install a printer in his room.  We joked because I was very nervous, sensing his keen eyes watching every move I made.  Would I pass the test of “techie” know-how?  I did, and we began an easy friendship.  He had a dry sense of humor that hinted at deep thought.  We frequently bantered back and forth, with me giving as good as I got.  Fun times…

During one of our conversations, I learned that he had become a minister before beginning a career in education.  I don’t know why he left the ministry.  I didn’t want to pry, but I had a feeling that he was still lost, seeking his way as many of us do.

And now this.

I am so sad for those left behind.  My heart goes out to the wife who loved him so much.  She had such a spring in her step during their courtship.

Most of all, I’m sad for him.  I pray that he found some kind of peace before he left this world.  I pray that he is in God’s arms now…the worries of this life left behind.

I’m just sad.

2 Responses

  1. I know the the Lord is grieving with you for the wrong thinking that gentleman had that led him to feel he has no hope, no way, no peace on this earth. Jesus understands the frustrations he had, he understands the human situations of life.

    But now, he is in the hands of the Lord if he considered Jesus Lord of his life. He has peace, perfect peace at last.

    I will pray for his wife who needs our prayer greatly now as she has all the ‘what if’s’ that may attempt to torment her plus having to live without her husband. May the local body of Christ be present for her in the days, weeks, months, and years ahead.

    Praying with her alongside you,
    Denise

  2. Corrie Ten Boom was such a wise woman!

    I’m so sorry to hear this story… it makes me so sad to always hear of people who struggle & give up hope… I cant imagine the hopelessness that is there & how dark that must seem… the scary thing is, this can happen to anyone! No one is immune to feeling like this which is why we need to bury our faith strong into Christ….

    Praying for those left behind….

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