I had a good day. At least I thought I did.
I went to work and even managed to find gas when I got off (pictures of the lines to follow in another post). I took Soccer Chick and a friend to the high school football game.
That’s about when my day went south.
Life with teenagers is like a roller coaster ride. There are a lot of ups and downs, and every day is filled with hairpin turns. You never know what to expect, and you’re usually not prepared for what’s around the corner.
Soccer Chick and I have a tense relationship. It’s almost like we’re both fighting for control. I have a problem with this. I am the adult. She is the child. We have huge respect issues going on, and I don’t know how to get through them.
You think that once you’re out of toddlerhood, you’re good to go. I mean, you finally get your kids sleeping through the night, going potty in the toilet, and eating meals at normal times. They are fairly self-sufficient.
Then they become teenagers, and they think they can change the rules on you.
I’m pretty much at my wits end. Chick told me one day that even if I let her do whatever she wanted, she still wouldn’t be happy.
What’s a parent to do when their child tells them that?
Needless to say, I’m very confused.
I’m not exactly sure what my role is anymore.
Oh, I know that my eternal purpose is to glorify God, but what am I supposed to do with this earthling He loaned to me.
I’m hurt, confused, and frustrated.
Parenting is so hard.
Filed under: This-n-That | Tagged: parenting, teenagers |
AuburnChick's Adventures 
I am the father of a15-yr old boy. Parenting is hard, no two opinions on that. I found many of my thoughts reflected in your post. Even I have just ended up not knowing what to do.
One suggestion: try not to control her. Try not to criticize her, especially her friends. For them, during these few years, friends mean much more than parents. Put whatever you want to tell her in a suggestive form, like, “Don’t you think it will be a good idea to put off buying the MP3 player till the next month? Think over it…”
Come down to her level, or raise her to your level. So that both are in almost the same level. Don’t lose cool. Trust her. Don’t talk down to her. At least pretend that you understand what she is saying…
I know, still it’s all very difficult. Just keep fingers crossed. And, if she is exposed to a vibrant, positive background, the chances are that nothing will go wrong.
Best of luck 🙂
I think it is important to remember that no matter what a teenager thinks, they are not yet wise enough in the ways of the world to be in control. We are parents for a reason…to teach them how to become good adults that serve God, respect each other and honor their parents and family. It is SO hard to know that you are connecting and doing the right thing, though.
My best advice is to remember that they learn by watching you and modeling you, so while you don’t have to be perfect, just try overall to be a good person that you would feel okay about emulating at that age. I have a feeling you are already quite a good role model from what I know about you, so I wouldn’t worry much about that. Also remember, that they DO hear what you say even when they try awfully hard to pretend they don’t – so just love them, guide them and be firm. It is your choice how to parent them and their choice whether to follow your parenting…but if they don’t see the strong guidance (and they will realize that it is out of pure love sometime in their mid-20s), then they won’t understand when life knocks them down and forces them to make tough choices. Show them the way and pretty soon they will be on their way!