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Not So Honest Abe

When Chicky was home a couple of weekends ago, we went, as a family, to see the movie Abraham Lincoln:  Vampire Hunter.

I was excited.

I’m a history buff, you know.

As we sat through the previews, I grew nervous.

The previews were for scary movies, and I had to cover my eyes for most of them.

I wondered what in the world I’d gotten myself into.  As you know, most previews are for the same genre as the movie you’re about to see.

Chicky laughed at me.  Though she’s a chicken and has often slept in my bed after watching Criminal Minds, she’s also a college student who watches scary movies with her friends (wonder if she ever crawls into bed with them?!).

The premise of the movie intrigued me, although the Mr. and I were leery about a couple of sexual things we’d read about on Plugged In, a Christian movie review site.

We discussed these things with the kids, and we all agreed that we could look away from those scenes since there were only two of them.

The scenes came early (one was a lady and one of the main characters in the bathtub) and the other was a bare-chested dead woman (you could hardly see her because the movie’s lighting was dark in scene).

Ok…so, how did I like the movie?

Well, it was o-k-a-y.

It was gory…lots of violence and blood…lots…so much so that I had to look away…often.

This is NOT a movie for young movie goers…not at all.

I’ve done a lot of reading about Abraham Lincoln.  I’ve even read a biography about Mary Todd Lincoln.

She was nuts and a power-hungry control freak.

I did not like her depiction as a loving wife in this movie.

Remember that I am all about accuracy in my movies.

This movie reminded me a bit of the Highlander series…where people live forever unless they get their heads chopped off.

The special effects were excellent…the action scenes HUGE although so completely unbelievable.

Honestly, I wouldn’t go see this movie again, and I don’t think I’ll buy it when it comes out on DVD.

A Movie Review – The Avengers

Chicky came home on Friday!

If any of you are parents to college-age children, you know what visits home mean…

LOTS of family time!!!

One of the things we like to do together is go out to movies, and this weekend was a good one for the box office.

It was the premier of The Avengers

This movie is part of the series that includes The Hulk, Ironman, Thor, and Captain America.

We were eager.  People had started posting updates about the movie on Facebook.

Well, I can tell you that we were not disappointed.  The movie lived up to its billing, that’s for sure!

There was so much action that it was difficult to keep up with everything.

There were cute guys to look at and pretty girls to ogle.

What made the movie, in my opinion, was the comedic timing.

Probably one of the funniest lines was, “He’s adopted.”  If you’ve seen the movie, you know what I’m talking about.

I only heard one, maybe two, curse words the entire way through, and they weren’t the in-your-face kind of words and not the “f” or “gd” words either.

There wasn’t an sexual stuff either.

Are you shocked?

I know I was.

This movie was perfect for EVERYONE in the family, including children.

You know how tough I can be when evaluating movies, so it will probably surprise you to read that I give this movie TWO THUMBS UP!!

Go see the movie.

Buy it when it comes out on DVD.

It’s worth it.

Sherlock Holmes 2 – A Movie Review

It didn’t take us long to come up with a family activity after Chicky got home on Saturday.

There was some discussion about which movie we were going to see and wound up deciding on Sherlock Holmes:  A Game of Shadows.

Now, y’all know how I am about movies.

I don’t like cussing, and I don’t like sexual references and nudity.

What I do like is comedic relief, and this movie has TONS of it!

We were laughing from the opening scenes, and the laughter continued until the end.

There was a ton of action, which pleased the guys.

As a reading teacher and lover of words, I appreciated the advanced vocabulary and began thinking of ways to incorporate some of the context into my classroom.

Sad, eh?

With all of that said, I have to point out a few things I didn’t like.

First of all, the plot was complicated.  It took me a little while to catch on to what was going on.

Perhaps I’m just slow, or perhaps my brain is fried from being a new teacher.

The second thing that bothered me was the one scene that had a NAKED rear end.

And the scene went on and on.

At first, you only see half of the male’s rear, but then you’re treated (cough) to the full rear view.

The scene includes an actress, so I wasn’t thrilled about that either.  However, the scene was not overtly sexual in nature, if that makes sense.

I don’t recommend this movie for children below high school age.

I sincerely wonder how many high schoolers will really understand all of the dialogue in the movie.  They will, however, be able to follow the plot.  Kids multi-task quite well.

Ultimately, my family really enjoyed the movie.  It’s refreshing to see a sequel that is as good as the movie it follows.

Cowboys and Indians…Make that Aliens

The Mr. and I had date last night!

We went to see the new movie Cowboys and Aliens

What in the world led me to invite the Mr. to see this movie with me?  Well, the day before, I had watched two mamas evaluate the movie on the Today Show, and they had liked it.

The movie stars Daniel Craig and Harrison Ford, two hunky, heroic men, so I figured that even if the movie was a bust, my eyes would still enjoy a feast.

Sorry, Ladies, but I’m just keeping it real.


The movie was action-packed and had moments of surprise that scared me.  Of course, I get scared when I go on the haunted house ride at Disney, so that’s not really saying much.

Still, there wasn’t a dull moment in the movie.

When the Mr. and I exited after it was over, we discussed what we thought of the movie.

I think it’s safe to say that our consensus was that the movie was interesting.

Really, it was a little strange.

It felt like the producers/screen writers had pieced together parts of the Indiana Jones movies with the movie Aliens with the “Indian” element thrown in for good measure.

Harrison Ford’s character started out gruff but grew softer as the movie progressed.  Daniel Craig’s character was the ever stoic hero.  There were no surprised with either, and the end of the movie was predictable.

As the Mr. noted to me, most alien movies are set in the present or future era.  This one was set during the Gold Rush, so that could be on reason why we felt a bit discombobulated during the movie.

My final opinion is that it was okay.  I definitely would not take young children to see this movie.  There was a LOT of bloody violence, and the aliens are scary looking.  There was also quite a bit of cursing.  In fact, I can’t really say what age children should be allowed to see this.  I’m overly protective and probably would have waited until my kids were in their mid-teens.

One final note…especially for Rebecca Jo…tell Ricky to grab a guy friend to go see this movie.  You win the argument, as noted in your Friday Fragments.  😉

Captain America Rocks!

A couple of nights ago, Rooster casually mentioned that the movie, Captain America, was premiering that evening at midnight.

I casually said, “If you buy my ticket, I’ll take you.”

Hello, Fandango.

Rooster checked, and there were still tickets available for the 3D show.

Dancing Girl wanted to go, and, after getting permission from her parents, she hopped in the car with us.

We headed to the beach to the nice theater.  True to his word, Rooster paid for my ticket.

Please take a moment to sigh at the sweetness of my boy.


The theater was packed.

Many of the moviegoers were wearing comic strip geek stuff.

All of a sudden, I felt like a nerd.

Well, in truth, I am a nerd, but I’m not used to being in a room full of them.

Everyone was talking loudly, but they quieted down as soon as the previews started.

I wasn’t sure what to expect.  Rooster was the one, after all, who had been looking forward to the movie.  He has the hat and t-shirt to prove it.

Plus, I always seem to be disappointed by movies.

Well, let me tell you that this wasn’t the case for this movie.

Oh my goodness, but the movie was pretty good!

In case you’re not familiar with the premise, the movie is set during WWII.  Steve Rogers is a painfully thin, patriotic young man who, despite his best efforts, cannot pass the physicals that the various branches of the military require to get in.

Regardless, he is selected to be the first participant in a special program designed to produce mega soldiers.

His transformation into Hunky Soldier Boy (my name for him) resembles that of Wolverine (you might remember hunky Hugh Jackman)…

And so Rogers becomes Captain America and sets off to save the world with his shield, extraordinary strength, and sidekicks.

There’s also a little bit of romance, but it’s very clean and sweet.

Let me talk just a minute about the 3D stuff.

This was my first time seeing a 3D movie, and what a difference!  It took me a few minutes to get used to it, but I can honestly say that the extra $$ were worth it.  The movie had a depth to it that made me like I was sitting inside the movie.

As I’ve already indicated, I enjoyed this movie a lot.  I only counted three or four curse words total, and all of them were spoken by Tommy Lee Jones (no surprise there).  There were a lot of fighting scenes…shooting and such…but, with the exception of one, the scenes were not bloody.  Ultimately, I found this movie fairly kid-friendly.

We didn’t get out of the movie until after 2am, and by the time we had dropped Dancing Girl off at home and returned to our own abode, it was nearly 3am.

Rooster and I went to sleep with smiles on our faces, though.  The impromptu late night had been a lot of fun.  It had been his first time attending a midnight premier. and I, as his mom, was glad to have been a part of it.

If you’re looking for a movie with good, clean fun, I encourage you to see this.

I Think I’ll Pass

You might remember my scathing review of the movie Transformers 2.

This was the one and only time I’ve ever walked out of a movie.

Unless you’ve had your head covered by a pillow, you know that the third movie in the series is about to make its debut.

This movie is supposed to be much tamer in the sex department than #2; however, I’m not sure if I believe those who make this claim.

When I was searching for a picture to use for this blog, the first one that came up was of a girl in her underclothes.

So much for less sex.

I don’t know what your summer movie plans may include.

I can tell you one thing for sure.

Mine will not include this movie.

I have lost my respect for the movie industry.

I have also lost my respect for such actors as Shia, who allow themselves to be paid by employers that push sex as a selling tool.

So sayeth AuburnChick.


An Open Letter to the Movie Industry

Dear Movie Industry,

I am writing this letter after what started to be a promising day.

I am the mother of teenagers.  It is rare for all of our schedules to mesh in such a way as we can actually spend time together as one unit.  Today was one such day.

We decided to go to the movies, in celebration of Mr. AuburnChick’s birthday.  The latest, most anticipated summer movie was Transformers.  We had seen the first one, loved it, and couldn’t wait to see the sequel.

We decided to see the matinee.  I am unemployed, and money is tight.  Chicky’s Guy Friend tagged along, making for a whopping total of $35+tax spent.

We didn’t mind.  As I stated previously, it would be a rare day spent together.

The movie started innocently enough…good transformers fighting bad ones.  We settled into our seats for even more action.  We had heard wonderful things about the movie.

It didn’t take long for my excitement to turn to disappointment.  The first clue that things were going south was when one of the female characters was shown from the rear wearing shorts that left nothing to the imagination.  Did the camera really have to linger there?

Next, the audience heard an earful of curse words and sexual innuendo…all coming from the mouths of the “parents.”  Animal sexual antics, followed by a “You’ll see more of this in college, Son,” caused me to grit my teeth in anger.

As the Transformers began to play a bigger role in the action, so did their mouths.  I was shocked to hear curse words spewing forth from them.  Not only curse words, but very crude phrases that were directed at females.

I crossed my arms and grew increasingly tense as each scene passed.  You see, my son used to play with Transformers.  As you know, kids imitate what they see.  Can you picture your son or daughter using some of the colorful language they’d just heard at the movie that Mommy and Daddy just took them to see?

Oh sure, the action scenes were fantastic.  I’ll give you that.  The special affects were superbly done.

But why, oh why, did you find it necessary to throw in so much sex?  Some of it was overt, and some it was behind the scenes.  An observant mom like me won’t miss those posters on the college dorm wall.  I know I may not be a famous Hollywood writer, but I fail to see how a girl sitting on a boy’s lap added substance to the storyline.

I debated.  Do I stay, or do I get up and walk out.

I fought my thoughts as the scenes continued.

At one point, we were treated to the sight of a man ripping off his pants to reveal that he was wearing thongs with something written on them.  I have no idea what they said because I turned my eyes away.  I heard shouts of surprise and a few of shock from some of the patrons.  Did you really have to leave that man’s butt on the huge screen for more than five seconds?

Point taken.  Crude.

The thing that pushed me over the edge was when a transformer saw fit to do a sexual number on the main female character, and she laughed.  I sat two seats away from my daughter and was mortified.  Sure, she’s 17, but do I really want her to think it’s okay to laugh off such sexual banter?  The way women were portrayed in this movie was appalling.  They are not sex objects or brainless.

My heart was beating hard as I grabbed my stuff and walked out.  I barely made it to the restroom…that’s how badly my body was shaking from anger.  At first, I felt guilty leaving the theater.  This was the first time I have ever walked out before a movie was over.  With each step, I grew more confident and proud.  And angry.

Folks…you knew very well that kids and adults would be seeing this movie.  Regardless of who the target audience was, why did you have to dirty it up this way?

I’m angry because I seem to be the only person who cared.  I did not see one other person walk out today, and I know I’m not the only person who holds my morals close to my heart.

I feel cheated.  I want my money back.  But giving me back my measly $7 won’t hurt you one little bit, will it?  This movie will make millions as crowds continue to pour in and sell out showings.

Oh sure, some might be surprised at the filth that the human and non-human characters shout out, but they’ll be distracted minutes later by action scenes.

You may have those people fooled, but not me.

Shame on you for allowing your industry to go to such lengths just to make a dollar.

Shame on me for continuing to waste money on this form of “entertainment.”

Maybe you haven’t heard, but money isn’t everything.  In fact, it’s worth nothing if it means giving up your integrity.  When is the last time you heard someone say, “I won’t go see that movie.  It doesn’t have any cussing in it?”

I’ll venture to guess you never have.  Neither have I.

You can be sure of this.  I may only be one voice, but it is one that will be vocal from here on out.

I implore you…please…make cleaner movies…movies that families can see together without being embarrassed.

That’s the sign of integrity.



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