Recently, I’ve been taking some of the personality surveys I’ve seen on Facebook.
I typically don’t hold much stock in them, wondering where the science is in someone stringing a bunch of questions together and WHAM, you’re this type of person.
With that said, I have discovered a common thread every time I complete a survey.
I.
Am.
Introverted.
Oh, I’ve always known that I’m a bit shy, but now I am beginning to think that I am, in fact introverted.
I don’t really understand why I am this way and envy those who thrive in large crowds…the people who can work a room.
I’ve been serious all of my life. I suspect this goes back to a traumatic childhood that continues to relive itself in my memories.
Life was hard, and I internalized everything.
Being the oldest child, I had to be perfect.
Any misstep, and I got into a lot of trouble.
As a result, I walked on eggshells…no easy feat for someone as uncoordinated as myself.
This rendered me awkward with no real confidence. I constantly measured myself against others. I still do, in fact.
New situations and environments turn me into a blob of jelly…shaky and squeamish.
I get by and have honed some skills over the years.
I’m proud of my work ethic, and I know I am a loyal friend.
However, I often feel misunderstood because I don’t like to be a part of large crowds.
I prefer to hang out with one or two people or on my own.
That’s one reason why online learning was good for me when I returned to college. I could still converse but from the comfort of my own home.
Although I’m nearly 44 years old, I’m still coming to terms with who I am. It seems as though the more I learn about what it means to be introverted, the less I fight it.
This doesn’t mean I use it as a crutch, as some might think.
It simply means that I know myself and my limits. I know I need to stretch myself; however, I also know that there are times when I’ll nearly have a panic attack if I allow pressure from others to push me into things I’m not comfortable with.
Those are the times when I break down emotionally and find myself retreating into my shell, taking steps away from relationships in which people have trod upon the trust that I have a had a hard time fostering.
Folks, if you’re friends with an introvert, allow that person to be an introvert without judging them.
I recently came across this article and found it fascinating. Much of it applied to me.
If you’re an extrovert, won’t you read it? It might give you insight into people like me and what lies beneath the surface.
If you’re an introvert but uncomfortable in your skin, perhaps you’ll learn to accept yourself.
I should, at this point in my life, be old enough to know myself, but I’m discovering that this is an ongoing process.
Filed under: This-n-That | Tagged: introverted | 4 Comments »
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