I started to title this post “She’s So Vain.” Cue up Carly Simon’s song and change the pronoun. Allow me to explain why…
Today was a good day for me. I woke up early to attend special church services. The kids went too. What a great way to start the day. My church is conducting early services that start at 6:15 to allow the high schoolers to attend. There were quite a few in attendance today. We eat breakfast afterward and proceed with our day.
A bonus was that, despite the early hour, my hair cooperated with my brush. For some reason, I decided to dress nicely, and my makeup looked good too. How lucky can I get?!
After I got to work, I remembered that I needed to make an appointment to renew my driver’s license. What a perfect day for it. I looked nice…professional even. I was able to get an early appointment. This was meant to be.
Now, a couple of details…
I work part-time, leaving in time to pick up my daughter from school each day. Despite the fact that I had been gone on Monday and the other fact that my office will be closed on Friday, I figured my boss would understand. She’s been great about my schedule thus far. So I sent her an email…
“Dearest, Sweetest Boss, I need to get my license renewed, so I’ll be leaving at 12:00 today. Sincerely, your hardest working employee, AuburnChick.” (ok…maybe I didn’t sound so syrupy sweet, but you get my point.)
Her response:
“Can you change the appointment until next week? You’ve been gone, and it’s a short week.”
Hmmm…I really do not want to tell her the real reason why I’m being so stubborn. I try another tactic, which borders on desperation.
“Dear efficient boss, you are so right, but you see…the security officer at the airport kindly saved my behind by reminding me that this has to be done ASAP. So if it’s all the same, I’ll keep my appointment.”
To which she responded:
“Dearest employee with the most flexible schedule, if you can change it, I’ll appreciate it. You do, after all, have until next week to get ‘er done.”
Rats. She knows my birthdate. This ain’t her first rodeo. So, I swallow my pride and try yet another tactic…honesty…
“Dearest, kindliest boss who is the most professional supervisor I know…yes, I could change my appointment, but I must confess…I am vain. My hair and face are actually presentable today. I have no zits on my face, my eyeliner went on straight, and my hair doesn’t look like I stuck my finger in a socket. I’m really tired of cashiers making fun of my current drivers license. How would you feel if someone grabbed your license and called over fellow workers to get a laugh…at your expense?”
I could almost hear her laughing from her floor. She acquiesced.
But, knowing me, the story doesn’t end here. Oh no…that would be too easy…
I make my way home to grab my identification paperwork. All of a sudden, it starts pouring! Here’s what it looked like from my garage:
Great. This is not what a naturally curly headed female wants to see as she prepares to take a picture.
I proceed to make my way to the DMV, still dressed to the nine’s in my suede heels, knee length jacket, fancy blouse and jewelry to match.
When I get there, I can see there’s nobody in line. Yippee!
But wait. There’s a note on the door. It says:
“Dear AuburnChick. As soon as you made your appointment, our computers decided that they couldn’t handle your beauty, so they shut down. You are going to have to come back when you look like your ratty old self.”
Great. All dressed up and no evidence to prove it.
Murphy’s Law at its best.
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