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A Hug is Not Just a Hug

Posted on May 14, 2012 by auburnchick

I think I’ve said, a time or two, how fantastic my church’s newest pastor is.

Well, yesterday, Tom was in rare form as he began his sermon.

He utilized a member of the congregation to demonstrate various types of hugs and even broke down, step by step, the symbolism of what each part of a hug means.

Sound silly?

It was, a little, and we had fun laughing along with Tom and his “volunteer.”

BUT, the application to real life…trust…boundaries…fear…

Oh.  My.

Deep.

I sat there thinking about the boundaries I’ve set up around me and, perhaps, how I don’t respect others’ boundaries or how I react when others don’t respect (or fail to notice) my own boundaries.

We, as humans, need to establish boundaries to deal with life.  As we grow older, we build up walls in reaction to the “stuff” that happens in our lives.

These walls determine the kinds of hugs we give and are willing to receive.

It’s no secret that I have issues.

I’m not alone though.  Don’t pretend that you don’t.

My issues stem from being the child who, as the oldest of a sometimes single mother, had to fend for herself…most of the time.

I have trust issues.

I have issues with love, though my issues haven’t affected my ability to love my own children with a fierce intensity.  This love extends to the students I teach.

Still, I tend to distance myself from others in my life who do love me, or I shy away from opportunities to let new people in.

I think it stems from the fear of being rejected…not being in control.

It’s also a fear of letting people down.  As a result, I am, at times, a people-pleaser.

I think I fall somewhere in the middle of the fear/boundary continuum that Tom mentioned in his sermon (I won’t go into more details because I’m afraid I wouldn’t do his words justice).

Holidays are the times when my fears attack me the worst, so I honestly don’t look forward to what should be special times.

Too many expectations…too many opportunities to be rejected (this is a lie Satan tells me) or to lose control.

Mother’s Day is no exception.

In fact, it’s one of the worst of the holidays for me.

Especially where it comes to acknowledging my own mother.

Sad, and I know it would hurt her to read this, but true, and I think she’d understand.

Soooo much water under the bridge…so many hurts have passed between us over the years…so little trust…so many walls built up.

She’s trying to reconnect.

I don’t want to be hurt any more.

BUT…

I called her yesterday…trying for once to be a good daughter.

And do you know what?

We had the most normal conversation we’ve ever had.

It didn’t have any expectations tied to it.

It was simply a woman-to-woman chat…about cell phone service…about the kids…about work.

And it gave me hope…

That one day when I hug my mom, it will be like the last hug that Tom demonstrated…

The one that signifies true joy at seeing someone who has been deeply missed and is deeply appreciated.

One like what Chicky gave me before she went back to school…

The one I keep reliving over and over because of its depth and sincerity.

I’m not an easy person to love, and I certainly don’t love very easily either.  But my hope is that I will be able to work through my fears, loosen up the tight boundaries I’ve set up in my life, and love freely…both in giving it and accepting it back…

Through whatever kind of hug a person chooses to give me (hopefully not the last, stalker-ish one that Tom demonstrated a little too familiarly 😉 ).

Filed under: Christian | Tagged: , , | Leave a comment »

One Little Key

Posted on May 3, 2012 by auburnchick

It’s funny how one little key can unlock so much truth.

This point was driven home yesterday at school.

To better understand what I’m talking about, I think I need to give you some background.

On Tuesday, a situation happened during my fourth period class.  I was in a meeting, so what happened was beyond my control.  I sincerely doubt that, had I been there, the situation could have been avoided.

In the process, my bathroom key was taken by a student who is not one of mine.

Now, let me explain that student bathrooms at my school are kept locked.  Within a couple of months of school starting, every teacher had been given a key for the bathrooms (boys/girls) nearest to his/her classroom.

I zip-tied mine to a small, green flyswatter that I got from my local pest control company.  I’d gone in to pay my bill when I noticed a cup of them on the counter, branded with the company’s logo.

Each teacher has a unique bathroom pass.  I’ve seen everything from a frisbee to a football.

I’ve guarded my key like a watchman guards Fort Knox.

The key only disappeared once, and that was when a student put it in a different place in my room.

Until yesterday…

When that situation occurred…

That I had no control over…

And later overreacted about…

And regretted…

And apologized for…

And talked to my sister and God about…

And gleaned great understanding about myself in the process.

This morning when I walked into my classroom, I saw the empty hook where the key used to hang, and though I was still a little annoyed, I’d seen the bigger picture and was determined to focus on that and not let Satan throw me off of my game.

First period came and went, and nobody went to the bathroom.

Hey, I thought, maybe NOT having a key is good.  I have an excuse not to let kids leave the room (let’s face it…REAL emergencies are one thing…most people CAN hold it).

Third period rolled around, and the kids quickly began asking for the key.

Tough tooties, I told them.  The key had gone missing.

I took attendance, making a special note of one of my female students who wasn’t there.

She came in tardy and handed me something that was wrapped in several pieces of notebook paper and stapled closed.

She walked back to her desk, looking over her shoulder the entire way.

I wondered what it was as I eagerly tore through the papers, not bothering to remove the staples.

My student ambled back to my desk (everyone else was reading silently).

“Uh, Mrs. AuburnChick, you really should read the paper.”

Um, okay…guess I messed that up, I thought, as I tried to piece the papers together while still unwrapping the “gift.”

My curiosity about what was inside won out, and I said, to myself, the heck with what was written.

I held my breath as I kept unrolling the paper…

Scarcely daring to breath.

Could it be??

But how in the world??

Sure enough.

When I finally got to the package’s innards, this was inside…

I looked up at my student in surprise, and she was grinning from ear to ear.

Then she told me her story.

She was in the hallway when she saw a boy holding a green flyswatter.

“Hey!  That’s my teacher’s key!” she said.

I interrupted her story by asking if he gave it to her.

“No,” she said.  “I took it from him.”

heehee

That’s my girl.

I don’t know what happened to the flyswatter.  It wasn’t attached to the key when she gave it to me.

I suspect that the two made a deal that he could keep the swatter, and she would return the key to me.

I didn’t care.

I had my key.

I jumped out of my seat and wrapped my arms around this precious child, chanting over and over, “I love you, I love you, I love you.”

Yes.

It doesn’t take much to make me happy.

But really, it was actually a big thing to me.

I felt, in that moment, that God was smiling down on me…chuckling the whole time…enjoying what He had orchestrated.

I felt that this was God’s way of saying, “Hey AuburnChick.  You made progress yesterday.  You let go by realizing what was really important.  And because you did, I’m going to give you what you THOUGHT was important.”

There are people in this world who doubt the existence of a God who is personally interested and involved in our lives.

I’ve never doubted.

Not that He’s there (although I have questioned the “whys” of a situation or two).

God is REAL.

God reaches out to us…

Especially when we let go of the things that are keeping us from knowing His truths, however great or small those may be at the moment.

Some people may laugh off something like this.

Not me.

Though it was one small key, it was yet another BIG moment in my life when God showed me, in a very tangible way, that He loves me…that He knows every thought I have…every worry…every doubt…every angst.

Thank you, Lord.

All glory and honor to You.

Filed under: Christian | Tagged: | 3 Comments »

What We Sang Today

Posted on April 29, 2012 by auburnchick

Today at church, we sang the song I’ve posted below.

It’s You Are Stronger by Hillsong, and I love it because it really tells the entire salvation story.

I continue to be amazed by the fact that there are so many lost people in this world.

Despite the fact that people believe in “God,” do they really believe in the story of redemption…that we’re sinners who must have their debt paid…that we can NEVER repay that debt ourselves…that good words will NOT get us to heaven…that Jesus is the ONLY person who could pay that debt because He was the ONLY person without sin.

I am so grateful for God’s grace and mercy that doesn’t make me wait until I die to find out if I’m going to heaven (unlike what some religions believe).

I KNOW that I am a sinner, saved by grace, not by my own merit but by the love and mercy of the Lord Jesus.

I know where I’ll spend eternity.

Do you?

If not, remember that God’s love…the gift of His Son…is stronger than anything else in this world.

Filed under: Christian | Tagged: , , , | Leave a comment »

Today We Sang…

Posted on April 22, 2012 by auburnchick

I absolutely love the music program at my church.  The contemporary band plays music that touches my soul.

This morning, we sang the song I’ve embedded below.  When my children were babies, I rocked them to sleep while I sang Amazing Grace (Chris Tomlin hadn’t come out with this version at that time).  Chicky got to where she could sing every verse, word-for-word with me.

Thus, I feel extra special when the song is cued up at church.  It’s as if God is reaching down saying, “Hello, Nathalie, I see you there.  Here’s your favorite song…just to let you know I’m keeping watch through every triumph and struggle.”

Enjoy!

Filed under: Christian | Tagged: , , | 2 Comments »

It’s Not an Illusion

Posted on April 8, 2012 by auburnchick

Today I finished reading Illusion by one of my favorite authors, Frank Peretti…

I had taken the book to church with me.

Crazy, I know, but I played bells during the early service at one of my church’s campuses and then drove to another campus to attend another service with my family.

I knew I’d have time to kill…

Hence, the book.

I put it away when the service began.

Boy, did I sit up straight when my pastor got to the part of his message in which he said the word “illusion” several times.

Hello?

Yes, Lord, I’m seeing a connection here.

It was only after returning home after church and spending the better part of the afternoon that I finished reading the book, along with the author’s notes at the end.

The book is about a husband and wife who spend the forty years they are married performing as magicians.  Then, the wife, Mandy, gets killed in a car accident.  Shortly afterward, Mandy finds herself back in her 19-year old body in the town she grew up in, but she thinks it’s 1970, but the only memories she retains are the ones up to that day she’s thrown back to.  She and Dane, her “husband,” reconnect through a series of events, but there’s mystery involving their meeting and whatnot.  The rest of the book entails their efforts to understand why they are connected to each other and how to solve the issue.

It was a wonderful book, full of twists and turns.

I’m still processing the many different underlying themes of the book.

Hence my pastor’s sermon and his use of the word “illusion.”

Gosh…there’s just so much in my head and heart…so many things that my pastor didn’t say…stuff that he did say.

I was very moved and connected with his words as he shared his grief over the sudden loss of his father four years ago.

I lost my dad eleven years ago this month.

Tom, my pastor, spoke about how, after his father died, he developed a fear of dying and leaving his family.

I can relate.

I think that many people are confounded by the mystery involving death and what’s left afterward.  Not that my pastor is, mind you, but still, there are questions that even the most learned theologian must grapple with.

I think about people I’ve come into contact with in the past…people I worked with last year…the students I taught…the people I encounter every day who don’t know or choose purposely not to believe in Christ’s resurrection and how that relates to our own deaths.

Just as Mandy, in Peretti’s book, cheated death despite the chains that placed her in bondage during her magic tricks, Jesus Christ fought and WON the battle against eternal death, throwing off the shackles, emerging as the risen Savior.

Jesus’s death and resurrection, however, was no illusion.

It was the real stuff…not a trick that some other person could or will ever repeat again.

Filed under: Christian | Tagged: , , | 3 Comments »

Lip Service Love

Posted on March 12, 2012 by auburnchick

Did you go to church yesterday?

I did, and the sermon I heard was so very convicting and powerful that I wanted to give you the gist of it.

Tom, one of my church’s pastors, preached from John 14:15-26…

John 14:15-26

New International Version (NIV)

Jesus Promises the Holy Spirit

15 “If you love me, keep my commands. 16 And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever— 17 the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you. 18 I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. 19 Before long, the world will not see me anymore, but you will see me. Because I live, you also will live. 20 On that day you will realize that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you. 21Whoever has my commands and keeps them is the one who loves me. The one who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love them and show myself to them.”

22 Then Judas (not Judas Iscariot) said, “But, Lord, why do you intend to show yourself to us and not to the world?”

23 Jesus replied, “Anyone who loves me will obey my teaching. My Father will love them, and we will come to them and make our home with them. 24 Anyone who does not love me will not obey my teaching. These words you hear are not my own; they belong to the Father who sent me.

25 “All this I have spoken while still with you. 26 But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you.

Tom spoke about how, after he became a Christian, he discovered that a few of his closest friends were Christians already.  This surprised him for a couple of reasons.  First, they had never told him anything about Jesus.  Being a new Christian, Tom couldn’t wait to tell people about God’s redeeming love.  Another reason why he was surprised was that his friends’ lives were not reflecting the fact that they were Christians.  They were doing things that were not exactly Christ-like.

Thus, even though Tom was new in his faith, he felt a pull, confused with what he felt was true with what he was seeing acted out.

As he spoke, I thought about how many people I see, on a daily basis, who are Christians (or claim to be) yet live in ways that go contrary to the Lord’s teachings.

Then, I thought about myself.  What are the things that I do that confuse people.  Yes, I am a Christian, but what about the times when I get angry and yell?  What about the times I allow crass or profane language to exit my mouth (rare, but it does occasionally happen when I speak with close friends and am frustrated about something).

The question begs to be asked:  What evidence of Christ is there in a Christian’s life?

In the above verses, Jesus connects love with persistent obedience to his commands.  A lack of obedience indicates a lack of love.

Tough, eh?

Here’s the thing.  When you encounter Christ, you don’t get to walk away and live life as before.

We always hear sermons about God’s love for us and how He demonstrates that, but how often do we really hear about the role we should actively take in the relationship?

Staying obedient to God can be tough though…especially given that there’s no physical “presence” to hold us accountable.

It’s like being a parent or some other adult in authority who holds a child accountable.  An adult’s presence is sometimes enough to keep a child’s behavior in check.

However, before Jesus departed the earth, He told his disciples that He would be leaving another, the Holy Spirit, who would be a counselor…someone to walk beside us.

So, in reality, we DO have God with us, watching us, desiring that obedience, and watching closely as our decisions play out.  When you think you’re alone, you’re NOT!

That’s a convicting thought.

When I’m frustrated with my students and raise my voice, the Holy Spirit is there with me.

Sigh.

When I fuss at my own children or get angry with a stupid driver and throw my hands up in frustration, the Holy Spirit is there.

Sigh.

Genuine Christians have the Holy Spirit.  You receive Him as soon as you give your life over to Christ.

Hard but needed truths were spoken today.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to get to heaven one day and be accused of paying lip service to God’s love.

What about you?

Filed under: Christian | Tagged: | Leave a comment »

Branching Out in a New Direction

Posted on March 5, 2012 by auburnchick

Sunday morning was a busy one for me.

First, I headed out early to play handbells during the 8am service.  We played to Old Rugged Cross, one of my favorites.  It was even prettier because we accompanied the guitar playing that our worship leader was doing.  I’ll admit that I sang along with the congregation.  😀

We also played to the song Jesu, Jesu.  I’m posting a YouTube link to the second song.  I’d never heard it before.  It’s quite beautiful and fitting given the season of Lent…

After playing the second song, I headed out.

Why?

Because my church was getting ready to branch out in a new direction.

Several months ago and after much prayer, discussion, and more prayer, my church purchased what had been a local indoor sports complex.  The business had gone belly-up when the economy went south.

Volunteers spent hundreds of hours cleaning up the place, which had been left in disrepair by the former owners.  The skate park was dismantled, and the parts carted off by a local businessman.

The large room that the skate park existed in will be converted to a worship center and business offices.

The facility also has indoor basketball courts, volleyball court, and soccer field.  There’s also a fitness area with machines and free weights!  Gym memberships are already being sold, and yes, we bought one, but I haven’t had time to go yet (look for posts about my sore buns in the future)!

The church’s youth program relocated to this new facility, and attendance at weekly youth functions is climbing.

Sunday marked the first morning that a worship service was held in the former skate park.

I was amazed when I got a first look at it…

That’s with the flash off.  The next picture is with my flash on…

The church wasn’t sure how many people would be attending this inaugural service.

They quickly discovered that more chairs were needed.

As the music started, my heart leaped in my chest.

I love contemporary praise music.

Everything, from the music to the sermon was so Christ-centered.

This facility is located across from a local high school and is easily accessible to many people, so there’s a lot of potential to reach large multitudes of people.

It’s an exciting venture, and one I’m honored to be witnessing.

Please pray for those involved in getting things up and running.  There’s a learning curve…creating an “off-campus” location from the home base, but the church is doing as Christ commanded and going out into the world to meet the needs right where people are at.

Filed under: Christian | Tagged: , , | 2 Comments »

Have You Ever Wondered

Posted on March 4, 2012 by auburnchick

Have you ever wondered why parents send their children to small, Christian colleges?

Well, the adorable gal in the following video…one of Chicky’s teammates…shares what makes Southeastern University so fabulous.

My nephew and Barb’s son will be attending Southeastern in August.  Super Sis and Barb will shed tears as they drop off their precious boys; however, they can rest assured that the guys will enjoy a well-rounded, Christ-centered experience.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NyuJKpCmDE0&context=C344fb63ADOEgsToPDskLSqD0ObXeOOrQuAs0gyg6u

Filed under: children, Christian | Tagged: , , , | 2 Comments »

Am I Dreaming?

Posted on February 16, 2012 by auburnchick

I have grown to look forward to Wednesday evenings.

Why?

Because I party hard, of course.

Not.

What I actually do is head to my church for handbell practice.

I played years and years ago when the kids were little and gave it up when we moved and my new churches didn’t utilize their bells.

My church’s new music director recently brought out the bells, and I am a happy girl.

He’s teaching us lots of stuff…music theory and such…and frying my brain in the process.

But, I’m having a blast.

We’ve recently begun working on The Old Rugged Cross and hope to have it ready by Easter.

Last night, Brad, the director, accompanied us on his guitar, and oh my word…it was lovely!!

When I got home, I went to YouTube and found this video…

Amazing, eh?

Oh, and check out the next video for an even more astounding performance.  My music director shared it with me after I shared the above video with him…

I don’t think we’re quite ready to do something like this (there are about 15 of us bell ringers), but perhaps…in the next twenty years…we will be.

😉

Filed under: Christian | Tagged: , | 2 Comments »

The Ultimate Gift of Love

Posted on February 14, 2012 by auburnchick

In a world filled with temporal love, let us never forget the One who showed what TRUE love is all about…

Filed under: Christian | Tagged: , | 1 Comment »

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