I finally uploaded the videos I took during the various Christian concerts I attended almost two weeks ago.
First, here’s Amy Grant singing a classic oldie. Sing with me…”Love will find a way…”
Did you sing? No? Then you missed out on the one and only chance to actually sing with Amy Grant AND me! If you listened closely enough, you might have been able to discern my voice.
No, it wasn’t the sound of an angel but more like a wounded pigeon that ate too much bread from a tourist.
WHATEVER.
I had fun, so there!
Next on the playlist is actually a short video of the people who stood in front of me during the Chris Tomlin concert. They were bopping up and down doing the “white boy pogo stick” dance that Chris instructed the audience to do…
Now you are privy to part of Chris’ famous song, “Amazing Grace/My Chains are Gone.” This is probably one of my favorite songs EVER!
Sorry for the unsteady hand. It’s really hard to hold a camera steady when your heart is about to beat right out of your chest!
Next up is a very small snippet of Michael W. Smith’s “River is Rising.”
And last but not least, this is part of MWS’ song “Friends are Friends Forever.” Oh boy, but this song makes me want to cry every time I hear it. It is a reminder to me that though I might be separated from my friends on earth, I will be reunited with them once we are in heaven.
I have a particular attachment to this song for another reason. It is the song I used for a video I made the summer I worked at my church’s preschool. I had a wonderful class of kids, and it was a great way to spend the summer. During those months, one of my children lost her father to cancer. The mom and I got to know each other pretty well. We saw each other at swim meets and other school functions, and I always asked about her youngest daughter, my student. We had that bond. Last year, the mom passed away very unexpectedly, leaving five children orphaned, and my heart absolutely broke. You might remember me blogging about it.
So, this song brings back those memories as well.
Gee, but I am a downer, eh?
Actually, I’m not, for this song gives me hope. Please enjoy the rather brief portion I recorded (I did you the favor of not singing along to this one)…
Sunday, Day 3 of the Christian Concert Series, loomed, and I’d venture to bet that there wasn’t a single person out there who was more excited than Your’s Truly.
I started off the day by attending church. The sermon was out-of-this world (I’ll share details some time soon). Afterward, I went home and worked on lesson plans. But, I kept my eye on the clock.
I had a date…a date with destiny.
Ok…not really.
But I did have a date, kind-of.
Ms. A, the friend I attended Day 2 with, and I had made plans to attend Sunday’s festivities, and this time, it was my turn to drive.
I was psyched.
I was also a bit concerned. The weather forecast called for rain, and the skies looked ominous again.
We had left early because we anticipated a large crowd.
Boy, was that an understatement…
We found a spot near where we had sat the evening before. However, by the time the crowd completely filled in, we were in the front third of the audience…that’s how many people there were.
When we arrived, we saw our friends R and T. The were on a hot date…or should I say humid date…
Normally, I don’t post my friends’ pictures, but after I took this, T said, “Oh, did we make your blog?” So, of course, I took that to mean I had her permission.
Isn’t her smile pretty? She oozes Christian love, as does the rest of her family.
They were not the only lovey-dovey couple I saw. Take a look at the people who sat in front of me…
As we waited, we chatted. We saw a lot of other people we knew. It’s not often…make that never…that Podunk, USA hosts an event like this.
First on the bill was Dr. Randy Carlson, host of Family Life Radio’s program, Intentional Living.
Although I am not fond of “self-help” studies, I did find him inspirational. He is very Christ-centered and bases his teachings on the Bible. Good stuff, people.
Then, we had to wait a spell while technicians set up for the next performer.
My stomach tightened in anticipation.
And then, it was time.
Look who came on stage…
AMY GRANT!!!!
This was a huge deal for me because she was the first Christian artist I remember listening to.
In fact, I remember the first time I ever heard one of her songs. I was in the car, with my youth group (which consisted of exactly five people because I grew up in One Traffic Light, USA) en-route to the very beach on which I was now standing. Someone popped a cassette into the tape player (remember the days before CDs and MP3s?).
I had no idea who she was, but I took an instant liking to her because she was the first person who didn’t sound like she was humming elevator music. Christian music suddenly became “cool.”
Her first two or three songs were some of the oldies…the lyrics of which I had long, long ago committed to memory…
It was at this point that some people in the crowd decided to sit down.
Not me, baby.
Oh no. I kept standing, swaying my body and singing at the top of my lungs (a huge apology to those who were unlucky enough to hear me). Though I had not heard the songs in some time, the words instantly came back.
“Love Will Find a Way”
“Baby, Baby”
She even sang a song from her new album. I had not heard it yet, but I loved it, and so did the crowd.
Sing it sister, I wanted to holler.
Maybe I did.
I don’t remember.
I snapped photos and immediately looked at them to make sure they turned out. I quickly realized that Ms. Grant sings with her eyes closed…a lot…
Interesting, eh? This made it difficult to snap a decent picture, but hey. They’re her songs, and that’s her band. She can sing however she wants.
Her voice was as lovely as what I’ve heard on my CDs.
After she had finished her set, we had to wait, again, while the next artist’s technicians set up.
Oy…my nerves were literally on edge.
The crowd continued to expand as more and more people arrived.
R and T decided to leave early, though. We bid them a fond farewell and then moved up into the space they had just vacated.
And then finally, the absolute HIGHLIGHT of the entire weekend…
Look who graced Podunk, USA with his presence…
Do you know who this is?
No?
How about a couple more pictures…I have lots (evil grin)…
Ok…I’ll spill.
I felt incredibly privileged to be in a crowd the size of Aruba, listening to MICHAEL W. SMITH!!!!!!
Way…no way!!!!
It was, by far, the way coolest thing ever!!!!
This man can belt out some tunes, let me tell you, and he constantly gives praise to God while doing so…
He had the crowd jumping, waving their arms, and lifting their hands in praise…
He sang oldies and goodies…there was something for everyone…
I do not often get star-struck, but I’ll admit that on this night, I was smitten. MWS is very charismatic. You instantly sense how deeply he is devoted to his faith. His desire to serve the Lord through his amazing musical skills shone forth through every note he played…
For the record, no, I am not a stalker. My soul was soaring far above the clouds that had, miraculously, failed to deposit their loads of rain on us. I wanted to capture every moment, for who knows when this itsy bitsy corner of the world will see the likes of such fine singers again…
All too soon, the last notes faded, and Michael departed with a walk across the stage, waving as he went…
One would think that feelings of sadness would follow; however, such was not the case.
No. My heart felt only an awakening and a pure joy that rarely has invaded its depths.
The crowd was treated to fireworks as a great send-off, and as each explosion set off a fiery display of beauty, I stood in awe and thankfulness…
I marveled at how I had spent the entire weekend praising God through song. I wondered, “Will there be preaching in heaven?”
I think not.
I don’t think it will be necessary, for the reaping will be done by then.
All that will remain is worship…exactly what happened on the beach last weekend.
These are memories that will live in my heart for a very long time, if not forever.
Saturday, Day 2 of the Christian Concert Series, could not get here quick enough for Your’s Truly. After my horribly sweaty morning (see previous post), I looked forward to having the evening off.
First off, a HUGE thanks to BP – not for the oil spill, thank you very much, but for the mucho-bucko’s that it gave to many local agencies to drum up travel to the beautiful beaches that line our coastline. My region of Florida relies heavily on tourism, and the oil spill made an already-hurting economy even more so.
I already told you about Point of Grace’s appearance on Friday night.
I had read estimates of 600 people showing up to hear them sing.
Saturday evening proved to be an entirely different ballgame.
By the time I arrived, perhaps an hour before showtime, the crowds were more than double from the previous night.
This time, I did not have to go alone as I sort-of invited myself to ride with another gal and her daughter.
Oops.
Heehee
We took our children, who are both in the band (her daughter is actually on the dance line), along with another young gent from the band, to the concert, where we saw a lot of other people from our church.
We were all there to hear one person sing.
Though the clouds were overcast, and the sky continued to sprinkle down small droplets of rain, people waited…
People lined the pier…
Finally, the wait was over, and I caught my first glimpse of…
CHRIS TOMLIN!!!!
Woo Hoo!!!!
Oh
My
Gosh.
This man can sing, let me tell you!
It did not take him long to get the crowd pumped up. At times, we were jumping like, in his words, “White boy pogo sticks.” Other times, people had their hands lifted in praise…
Most touching, to me, was the sight of so many young people. They often had their arms around each other or their hands raised…
I don’t know why, but the following young gentleman frequently caught my attention…perhaps it was his youth, or perhaps it was simply the sight of him letting his emotions go…
As the evening wore on, Chris continued to play his guitar and sing…
Even his band mate worshiped…
An amazing thing happened as Mr. Tomlin performed.
The dark clouds dispersed, revealing one of the most glorious sunsets I’ve ever seen…
The pictures convey but a snippet of the emotions that ran, unchecked, through the crowd.
I have never, ever seen experienced anything like this.
Every single song was sung for the glory of God.
I believe I caught a glimpse of what heaven will be like, where all believers will stand together and give praise to the One who provides the rain and the rainbows and painted the beautiful sunsets I am privileged to see each day.
AuburnChick can’t come to the blog right now. She’s still caught up in the moment after spending most of the weekend on the beach listening to the most amazing music ever.
She took lots of pictures and has lots to say, but she decided it had to wait until Monday because she still has three lesson plans to write.
Do come back so you can hear all about the fun she had!
You’ve probably seen one of the new McDonald’s commercials…
I kind of felt like that tonight, except my “me” time did not involve coffee because, as I might have mentioned a time or two, I have not grown up.
Anyhoo, you may be wondering why I am stuck on the commercial theme lately.
I have no idea. But, since it’s my blog, let’s just roll with it.
Anyhoo…
So, this weekend, my local tourism council is hosting a Christian concert series.
For FREE.
My new friend (and co-worker), Jane, told me about it last week, and I have been psyched ever since.
Different artists (famous, by the way) are scheduled to appear…three nights in a row!
Oh
My
Gosh.
You guys…things like this do not happen in Podunk, USA.
In fact, when I called Chicky to tell her about it, she said, “WHAT? Great. Just when I leave, my second-favorite singer comes to town. Thanks, Mama, for rubbing it in.”
heehee
I eagerly waited for Friday and tried, in vain, to talk Rooster into going to the first concert with me.
He politely, but firmly, declined.
The group that was set to perform was not quite up his alley.
Different strokes for different folks.
Because Jane did not have anyone to go with either, she and I exchanged numbers at school today…just in case.
After I got home from work, I spent another hour trying to bribe the boy into going with me.
No can do. He was wearing his Xbox headset and looked he was settled in for the afternoon.
Great.
I had no idea what I was going to do.
AuburnChick doesn’t do things on her own, you see. I’ve never been one to “need” “me-time.” I have always preferred to be with my children, doing “mom” things. In fact, as my children have gotten older and spent more time away from home, I have had to adjust.
It hasn’t been easy.
Plus, I am a homebody, which means I socialize from the comfort and safety of my own home.
Ugh.
I kept thinking about the group that was set to perform.
I wanted to go.
I did not want to go by myself.
I called Jane.
She didn’t answer.
I stalked her.
I looked up her number in the white pages.
She still did not answer.
“Jane, Jane, where are you?”
Finally, I grabbed my car keys, purse, and camera and told Rooster the defrosted chicken was in the refrigerator and to have fun cooking it.
Mama was headed out.
By herself.
This was his last chance to change his mind.
He didn’t.
As I drove, I considered this new adventure I was embarking on.
What in the world was I doing?
I mean…this might not seem like such a big deal for most people, but for me, it really is.
I mean…I turned 40 in March, Rooster turned 16 in May, Chicky graduated in June, I took my first-born (i.e. Chicky, for those who are new to my blog) to college in August, and I started a new job/career.
It’s been a rather eventful six months.
And now I was headed to the beach to attend a concert by myself.
I snapped a photo as I crossed the bridge…
Oh you guys…I got emotional as I drove.
What is wrong with me?
Most women go out for “Girl’s Night.” Some even enjoy weekends out-of-town with their friends. Not me.
I called Super Sis to talk about my new adventure.
She had just entered a restaurant with her family, so we did not get to talk.
You guys…there was nobody I could call.
Do you know what that feels like?
I’ll tell you.
It is a lonely feeling.
Yeah, I shed some tears.
I tried calling Jane again.
Nada.
Ok, God. I think it’s pretty obvious that I am supposed to go on my own.
So I wiped my tears and continued to drive.
I was nervous, but God led me exactly where I needed to go, even after I thought I had taken a wrong turn.
Nice try, He seemed to be telling me.
Trust Me, He continued.
It didn’t take long to find a parking spot. Taking a deep breath, I put on my Fake Confident Smile and briskly walked to the beach.
I looked around for someone I knew.
Nada.
Lovely.
I did not have a chair, nor did I have a blanket.
I was wearing blue jeans.
I found a seat in the middle, spoke a moment to a lady sitting in a chair…just to be sure she wasn’t expecting anyone…and sat down, deciding to ignore the sand that was sure to find its way into every crevice of my pants.
I snapped a few photos while I waited for the concert to begin…
Ahhh…this is why I love living close to the beach!
I turned and stared at the stage…the first one I’ve ever seen in real life (I’ve never been to a concert before)…
I was excited!!!
I did see one person I knew – a student and her family. I ran over, gave her a hug, and reclaimed my seat.
And then it was time.
Who was tonight’s act?
Point of Grace!!!!!
Oh
My
Gosh!!!!
These ladies’ voices are melodious…what I imagine angels to sound like!!
They sang a couple of older songs. Here’s a snippet of one (I recorded it on my camera…please forgive the quality)…
I took more photos…
In between songs, they shared tidbits about their lives.
What sweethearts!!! These ladies spoke with the Southern drawl I grew up with in Alabama. It was like going home to Mary’s cooking (the Mr., Coupon Queen, and Grand Pooba will understand this).
During one of the songs, a group of birds flew over in a V-formation…
I continued to take more pictures…
He's married to the gal in the purple dress
And the drummer, of course…
The girls took a break while the former singer of Avalon, who is now the group’s keyboard player (and has a name that I cannot remember) played a few songs. You might recognize the bit I recorded…
This guy has an amazing voice, eh?
Meanwhile, I figured since I had my camera, I might as well capture other images from my evening…
Children playing…
Leaving behind empty chairs…
I watched the sun set…
The group sang a song about fathers and daughters, and I’ll admit that a few tears rolled down my face at the end. I never got to experience the things they sang about because my parents divorced when I was very young, and my mom kept me from seeing my dad for most of my life. I guess I cried for the memories I never had a chance to make, and for the ones I did make during the short time we were together after our reconciliation.
Before I knew it, two hours had passed, and the girls were singing the last song for the night…
What an enjoyable evening, even if I did have to spend it with my own thoughts.
It was great to get to know a group of ladies who sing songs that have positive messages for the young women of today. These ladies sing of faith during struggles…a theme I can identify with.
I am eager for Saturday’s concert, and I even have plans to attend with some friends from church.
But, if for some reason I wind up going by myself, I don’t think I will mind quite as much.
Tonight, God took me outside of myself and all of the emotions and insecurities that I carry deep inside of me.
He reminded me that though I feel alone, He is walking with me through this new phase of my life.
Though things change, He remains the same.
Maybe, instead of calling it “me” time, I should start calling it “our” time to refer to the time I spend with God…allowing Him to grow me and mature me into the person who will one day stand before Him.
Do any of you watch the series The Next Food Network Star?
The show comes on Sunday nights on The Food Network, and it is a competition to see who will be the network’s next star.
I love watching how the contestants interact with each other and deal with the challenges they are presented. Plus, the food doesn’t look half bad either!
Well, on this past Sunday’s episode, I caught a phrase in a conversation that really struck me.
First, a bit of background.
There are two females who do not like each other. No surprise there, eh? Women can be so catty.
Serena is a gal who hails from Italy. She speaks very quickly, and when she’s mad, look out!
Then, there’s Brianna, who was floundering but seems to be gaining confidence and finding her cooking voice, which doesn’t put up with much, let me tell you…
So, these two ladies do not get along.
Serena’s voice is annoying. She talks all the time. Brianna is extremely bossy, which annoys Serena.
Together, they are fire and ice.
During the first of Sunday’s challenges, both women came in the bottom two. So, for the next challenge, the contestants were put into pairs, and Serena and Brianna were put together.
Yeah.
The challenge was that each team had a cooking trailer on Venice Beach, and they had to create dishes to serve to those coming by on the boardwalk. They also had to create a name for their stand and work together, in a very narrow galley.
It was the perfect setting for a throw-down, and I’m not talking the Bobby Flay kind (if you watch this network very often, you’re understanding the language I speaketh).
Part of these types of “reality” shows is that contestants are interviewed away from everyone else. It makes for good TV, I guess, to hear all of the stuff they say behind everyone’s backs.
Naturally, Serena and Brianna were livid that they were going to have to work as a team, and neither of them were shy to tell that to the audience.
Now, here’s the part that caught my attention…so much so that I reached over for a pen and wrote this down.
Serena, while talking about how much she disliked Brianna, said, “There will be honey on my lips but bitterness in my heart.”
Oh my gosh!!
Didn’t that just make your heart sad for her?
This phrase has been repeating itself inside my head over the last few days.
We are taught to put on a smile…be polite…no matter how we feel. It’s the socially-accepted way of doing things.
I am not very good at this, I will admit.
I am the kind of person who wears my feelings on my sleeve, and if I’m not feeling something, I’m sure not going to fake it and pretend like things are okay.
Case in point:
There is a young gal…a sort-of-friend of Chicky’s who hurt her terribly the last two years of high school. What this girl did to my precious baby was enough to make the Mama Bear in me come out.
Although I did nothing publicly, I stewed.
There is much bitterness in my heart.
However, unlike Serena, I do not have honey on my lips.
While I have not been rude to this girl, I do my best to avoid situations where I am around her. If I see her, I avoid eye contact.
I just can’t be fake.
I’m not sure this is any better than saying nice things while harboring anger in my heart.
But still, Serena’s words have stuck with me and continue to make me think.
For one thing, I am no better than she is. I am working on getting through the anger that often remains in my heart long after an offense (or supposed one) has taken place.
I long for there to be honey on my lips and love in my heart for the people I do not particularly care for.
That, my friends, is a sign of maturity and growth in the Lord.
Yesterday, when I was trying to figure out what was going on with my unemployment benefits, I pulled out the folder where I keep my documentation.
It was in the same place where I keep my paycheck stubs.
Real organized, eh?
But, it makes sense in a warped sort of way.
What can I say? I am AuburnChick.
So, while I was trying to find that all-important number that would allow me to not be on hold for forever and a day (I couldn’t find it, by the way…refer to the last post for more on that), but I did see a stack of paycheck stubs that dated way back to 2007.
After hanging up with the unemployment office, I decided it was time to purge those old papers, but first I took a look at them…just to make sure I wasn’t getting rid of something important.
Oh my gosh.
What an eye-opener…and a bit of a downer.
I had about a year’s worth of stubs from when I was a computer tech (aka paraprofessional) at a middle school in town. My salary was a lot higher than what I made the last two years as a substitute teacher with a bachelor’s degree and a letter of eligibility to teach from the state of Florida.
My pay stubs from mid-2007 through 2008 were LOVELY. I longingly looked at the amounts of them and cried a few tears, on the inside, as I recalled days of not stressing over the bills…of having the extra money to write checks for school t-shirts, club dues, and other non-necessary splurges.
And then I saw my paychecks from 2009 to the present.
Paltry in comparison to their predecessors.
Minimum wage.
Chicky made more money babysitting than I did subbing/teaching.
As I thumbed through these financial relics, I thought about the link we make between the figures on our paychecks with what we, as humans, are worth.
Why is it that I felt my emotions soar with the law firm salary and then dive when I saw my school pay.
I am so totally not about money, my friends.
I mean, I have chosen a career that will not result in my wearing Prada or Jimmy Choo.
And I am okay with that. My thrills come when, and this is going to sound totally nerdy, I see kids understand why you have to make nouns and verbs agree or when I take them through history so they’ll understand why Jonathan Edwards’ sermon, Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God, played an important role in the move for our country’s independence from England.
Why do we think the bottom line of what we’re worth is tied into how much bacon we can bring home at the end of the day?
I do not know.
All I can say is that I choose NOT to fall into this way of thinking, for I know that my worth lies in being a daughter of the King.
God chose me before I was formed.
I would never trade this assurance for even a tenth of Lebron James’ paycheck.
Oh you guys…it’s Monday, and although I am not in a bad mood, I feel like ranting.
So, please bear with me while I stand atop of my soapbox this morning.
It all started last Thursday morning.
I am not a huge fan of daytime TV. Heaven knows I spend enough quality time on the couch watching the thing in the evenings with my addiction to such shows as So You Think You Can Dance, Chopped, and Next Food Network Star (to mention a few).
But, I do like watching the Today Show.
Or rather, I DID.
I have watched this show, on and off, for years.
I remember the days of Bryant Gumbel and Jane Pauley.
How many of you remember the whole Deborah Norville controversy? She sure did not last long as an anchor!
Then there was Katie Couric who finally quelled the bitter aftertaste left by Ms. Norville (although she is a knitter, so I like her better now).
I cheered when Matt Lauer was promoted from the news desk to the couch as Katie’s co-host.
And now, Meredith Vieira reigns on the Today Throne with Matt.
Now that you’re up on the Today Show history (I am, as always, a teacher on my blog), let’s proceed.
A few years ago, the show started a Summer Concert Series. Every Friday, a famous recording artist puts on a concert outside of the studio. Streets are blocked off, and fans start lining up a day two in advance as the hype is built up over the week.
Well, on Thursday, I saw a promo for Lady Gaga, who would be showing up the next day.
Meredith and Ann Curry (current news desk anchor) sat on the studio’s couch, chit-chatting about the upcoming concert.
And then NBC showed a longgggggggggggggg clip of one of Ms. GagGag’s videos.
I have no idea what the song was, but all I can say is that my jaw dropped to the floor as I watched a girl posse dance around in less-than-full-coverage underwear.
Folks, these girls were twirling around, so as to reveal skin that should never be revealed in public, much less on MORNING TV!!!
Oh my gosh.
I was livid!!!
How is it that NBC had to choose THIS clip of THIS video?
Such poor judgment.
And then the monitors turned back to Meredith and Ann, who were gushing over said singer.
Blech.
I think I turned off the TV at this point, mentally firing up a blog post as I hit the remote control buttons.
But wait…I had other things to blog about. The delay gave me the opportunity to find more fodder for my rant.
Friday morning started, and out of habit, I turned on the TV. This is what summer is all about, after all, even if I don’t turn it on until 9am because I’ve slept in.
But I digress.
Of course, my timing was good, as usual.
Said sarcastically, of course.
Guess who was on the TV?
Yep.
Not-a-Lady GagGag
In attire that should be worn under clothing, not as the main ensemble.
Ugh.
It started raining, and she still kept singing.
Never mind the fact that there were electronics all around her.
Forget the fact that there were other people on stage dancing and playing instruments who could have been ELECTOCUTED because she had to have the attention.
Honestly, I think she’s just a Madonna-Wannabe…so desiring of attention that she’ll do anything shock-worthy to get it.
Mercifully, there was a commercial break.
And then the show returned, to find icky girl doing her thing in an outfit that was the final straw for me…
She was wearing a white bra ensemble with…
Get this…
Silver rhinestones that made out the shape of crosses!!!
Oh
My
Gosh.
I have no idea what in the world she was singing, because I had the TV muted. I wasn’t even really watching it but happened to glance over and see that.
Ugh. Ugh. Ugh.
This is probably the one thing that really bugs me the most – people who wear crosses as some sort of fashion statement when their lives are so diametrically opposed to what the symbol stands for.
Case in point: When I was in sixth or seventh grade, my parents gave me a Star of David necklace for Christmas. I did not really understand what the symbol stood for, so I wore it to school one day. Someone asked me if I was Jewish, and I said no. I was very self-conscious the rest of the day.
See, it wasn’t bad that I had worn it, but I felt like I was misrepresenting myself by doing so.
I am particularly sensitive to crosses and the Ichthys, the Christian symbol of a fish. I have a necklace and ring with an Ichthus, and people automatically assume I am a promoting the fact that I am a Pisces.
Um, no! I do not read horoscopes.
Ugh.
So, I am annoyed…duh.
I would love to see NBC (or other stations) invite Christian singers to perform concerts out on the Plaza.
What a true shocker that would be, eh? Can’t you see Steven Curtis Chapman, Michael W. Smith, Jars of Clay, or Casting Crowns belting out songs that talk about things more eternal that telephones?
That would be something I wouldn’t have to gag over!!
It’s ugly, and it always seems to appear when you least expect it.
This morning, I was wearing my Mom hat, taking care of school business for the kids. Chicky is having some transcript issues, and Rooster needed a class dropped…tasks that required me to go to the high school.
While I stood, completing paperwork that I’d previously had no idea needed to be completed, a woman and her daughter walked in.
The gal who was working in the guidance office shrieked with joy when she saw the woman, and they had the following conversation:
“Oh, So-and-So, I hear you’re going to be with us this year. When I saw your name on the list (pointing to one of the administrator’s office), I said, ‘I know her.'”
“Yeah, I’m not sure if she (pointing to her daughter) is going to be so happy that I’m here since the one thing she told me when applying for jobs is to stay away from this school.”
“Ah, well, she’s going to love having you on campus. The first year, you’ll be a comfort for her, and she’ll ignore you the next three years, unless she needs something. Then, you’ll be here if she needs you.”
Now, if you’re new to my blog, let me lay out a few points for you:
1. I graduated from college two summers ago.
2. I have been looking for a teaching position ever since.
3. I started subbing in the school system to get my face seen and gain experience in the classroom since I did not have the benefit of student teaching during college.
4. During the first four months of subbing, I was working at another job, part-time. My boss was WONDERFUL and allowed me to sub two days a week while still holding down the other job since it paid so much better and sub work was not plentiful at the time.
5. During that fourth month of subbing, I was laid off from my lucrative-paying job (thank you, economy-that-is-now-in-the-toilet). So, I started subbing as full-time as I could.
6. Because I take pride in my work and actually like teenagers and am consistent and do a good job and am reliable (lovely sentence, eh?), I started getting a lot of subbing jobs.
7. During the last two years, I have gotten myself certified to teach two subjects – Social Sciences 6-12 (killer of a certification test because of the scope of subjects that social science encompasses, by the way) and English 6-12.
8. Despite applying and interviewing for quite a few jobs, I still have not secured a regular teaching position.
9. A few weeks ago, I was told by two people that they could not take a chance on a first-year teacher (aka Your’s Truly).
Now, let’s back up one day. Let me tell you what happened yesterday.
I was at the school picking up report cards and volunteer forms when I saw one of my dear friends working. This lady truly is wonderful…such an inspiration to me. She asked me why I wasn’t applying for positions. I knew she meant a couple that had been advertised for the school.
I told her that I had applied. She seemed surprised because there had been interviews going on all day.
Um, yeah.
Silence.
I had not even gotten called.
But honestly, I expected that. I had applied for an English position even though I knew my chances were slight to none. I figured that it couldn’t hurt to try. You just never know.
I am ever the optimist.
Ok, so now we’re up to speed.
There is a point to this story, I promise. Let me tie everything together.
Taking into account what I’d been told a few weeks ago with what I heard yesterday with the woman coming into the office today…well…it was not pretty for me on the inside.
You see, jealousy rushed in like a loaded freight train, and I was standing in the middle of the tracks, ignoring the warning horn that begged me to move out of the way.
Well, that’s not true, exactly. I think I knew what was coming, but I was paralyzed. I felt trapped by my feelings, wanting so badly to bolt but choosing to stay rooted in that spot.
And I was mowed down.
I am so ashamed.
In my heart of hearts, I know that God is in control. I know He has a plan for my life…every single part of it.
But the human side of me felt totally left out this morning.
I so badly want to be the one that people are welcoming.
Gosh. That sounds so selfish, eh?
Maybe it is.
I wonder…is jealousy something we can prevent?
Probably not.
What we can prevent is wallowing in that jealousy.
As I type this, I am getting a mental image of a pig wallowing around in mud. Pigs do this. It is their nature. The mud is soothing.
Could it be that wallowing in jealousy soothes our need for self-pity?
Ugh. Shame on me!
Nope. I am not going to do this.
I am going to crawl out of the Jealousy Mud Bath, rinse myself off by confessing my sin, and move on.
As a Christian, I should be less concerned with my wants and more concerned with God’s. As long as I am in the center of His will (I have a lot of shimmy-ing to do to get there), then it doesn’t matter if another person gets a job that I’d love to have.
It is about glorifying God.
Indulging in self-pity and jealousy won’t cut it.
Ok. I feel better. Confession really is good for the soul!
It is titled Casting Your Cares, and you can read it here.
The message is about giving God your worries…casting them upon Him.
As a knitter, the phrase “cast on” struck me.
This is what we knitters do when we begin projects. We “cast on” the stitches – placing the yarn upon the needles. These stitches are what we use to create our fibery works of art. The needles are the tools that we use to make the patterns interesting. Our hands are what ultimately hold those needles, controlling whether we’re knitting a knit or purl stitch, or even doing a yarn over.
I looked up the word cast, and it literally means to throw.
The Bible commands us to throw our concerns to God.
Boy, do I need to do this…daily. I need to put my worries squarely on God’s shoulders (what I might consider the needles) and trust that in His hands, those stitches – the good and the bad (as knitters, we’re known to mess up) the pattern WILL be perfect and beautiful in the end.
AuburnChick's Adventures 