Today is our first day back to school since March 13th, the Friday before Spring Break. That afternoon, after we’d left school, we received notification that we would be out an extra week after Spring Break and that when we “returned,” it would be for online classes until at least April 15th.
So, today is Back to School Day.
I really should have titled this post Back to School 5.0 because y’all, we here in the Florida Panhandle have had to go through the Back to School experience five times since 2018 (the year we got hit by Hurricane Michael).
I went to my classroom last Monday to grab a few things I thought I would need to work from home, and let me tell you that walking up to the school on what should have been a loud, busy morning, was weird.
There weren’t many people on campus. In fact, we weren’t allowed to visit without permission from an administrator. I wound up seeing two people that day – all from afar.
The only gate that was unlocked was the one past our cafeteria, so I had a bit of a hike.
I walked through the courtyard where students are usually occupying tables – either eating breakfast or visiting with their friends.
I saw a random pencil on the ground and exhaled a deep sigh of sadness. It’s funny how a small object like this can bring about a strong feeling of wistfulness for what was, once upon a time, normalcy.
As I entered my building, I first noticed the stale smell of unmoved air.
We had, after all, been on Spring Break.
It was also dark. We usually have both sets of lights turned on.
Walking into my room reminded me of the first time I got to visit it after Hurricane Michael.
I saw the things that had been left sitting out before the world as we knew it changed so completely . . . the game of Uno that my students had played on the rare free day I’d gifted them with . . .
The thing that got my heart so much was seeing the calendar that hangs from the bulletin board beside my desk.
I always have the days crossed off in anticipation of when I’ll be entering my room again, and seeing March 23 all ready for me was so sad. It reminded me of the date that was hanging there when we got back from our hurricane “vacation.”
PTSD y’all.
It is a real thing.
Oh the feelings of deja vu from that 2018 post-hurricane return to school . . . such as the agenda on my whiteboard . . .
The saying on my letter board (unchanged from the first day of school, I’m afraid) . . .
Teachers live for their routines. Truth be told, so do students.
I gathered what I knew I needed – the stuff I’d already added to my “pick-up-from-school” list on my phone – and what I thought I might need (not stuff on my list).
I know I took stuff I probably wouldn’t need, such as the boxes of yarn and knitting needles under my cabinet. They’re specifically for kids (I used to have students who knit during lunch), so I’m going to offer them up for grabs in my neighborhood’s Facebook group.
My take-home pile included some of the lesson packets I’d copied before Spring Break. Of course, my district is having us follow their own scripted curriculum, so most of my plans are out the window now, but last Monday, everything was still fluid.
I stayed about thirty minutes before deciding to leave.
Y’all, this is my home away from home, so it was bittersweet. As much as I love being home, I’ve created a space that is comfortable to work in, and the knowledge that I wouldn’t be in it for who knows how long was hard in that moment.
See you laters are never easy.
On the wall in the hallway outside of my room, I noticed the list of test dates I’d taped up – dates that no longer mattered (do I hear clapping?).
I also saw the prom poster I’d hung up, and oh word, but I felt so badly for my students.
As of this writing, the prom is still up in the air. Honestly, nobody is holding their breaths, but our kiddos – especially this class of seniors – has been through SO MUCH since Hurricane Michael, so they’re not giving up hope just yet.
One could say that this doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things, and you’d be right; however, it’s one more thing for our kiddos to deal with, and I think it’s okay to admit that it’s hard.
And so we move on to the next chapter – one that will be fraught with more highs and lows as we begin the process of educating our children virtually.
I’m a bit anxious because I like to anticipate issues that might crop up, but I’m also smart enough to know that no matter how much I plan, this will ultimately be a learning process for all of us.
I pray that we would all be mindful of this, and that we will be quick to grant grace to one another as we will surely make some mistakes along the way.
Please pray for those of us in education as we begin to establish a new normal for ourselves and the students we serve.
Filed under: Teaching | Tagged: Coronavirus, teaching | 1 Comment »
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