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Classroom Management 101

Forget Harry Wong…

Forget Fred Jones…

I have a rather unique classroom management strategy.

It goes something like this.

Spend the weekend out of town and return home only to apply makeup from your travel bag (if you’re a guy, you’ll have to improvise).

Go to school.

Watch as your energy-draining (I’m being very nice here) first period class walks in quietly, sits down, completes the bellwork on the overhead, and opens up their independent reading books…all WITHOUT being reminded.

Stand in amazement after you’ve tried almost every other trick in the books written by such illustrious education experts mentioned above, and think to yourself, “Boy, I seem to have things down pat.”

Listen as a student finally asks, “Mrs. AuburnChick [insert your own name here], are you sick today?”

Answer with the following, “No, why do you ask?”

To which you receive this response, “Because your eyes look kind of funny.”

Respond with a curious look on your face and the comment, “Really?”

Grab your mirror…only to discover that because you were living out of a makeup bag, you didn’t grab the eyeliner…thus your eyes look sunken in and sickly.

Hence, we have discovered a new way of managing the class:  look like you’re too sick to put much effort into disciplining.  The kids will feel sorry for you and will behave as they should.

Where’s a publisher.  I’m feeling the need to write a book and make millions.

2 Responses

  1. Too funny! Teenagers are definitely unique.

  2. I myself have tried this strategy and it works! 🙂

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