AuburnChick's Adventures

I feel the need to go ahead and apologize before you read the rest of this post.  I am about to sound a little like Oscar the Grouch…

You see, I simply must rant a bit.

Yesterday, the Mr. and I received a letter in the mail.

It was from our homeowner’s association (HOA).

We had received a newsletter a week or so ago, and I’d gotten a bit miffed back then.

Yesterday’s letter just about pushed me over the edge.

The issue?

Garbage cans.

Yes, you read that correctly.

Garbage cans.

I don’t know if you’ve had any experience with HOAs, but let me tell you that they can be a royal PITA, please forgive my acronym French, if you know what I mean.

With the exception of the three apartments that the Mr. and I have lived in during the course of our marriage, our homes have always fallen under the jurisdiction of HOAs.

Here are some things I’ve learned.  First, the good:

• HOAs do some good work…like collecting monthly fees that are used to maintain community pools and landscaping (see, I can be nice).
• HOAs also help people avoid living next door to purple polka dotted houses.

And now, the bad:

• Most HOAs are comprised of a bunch of retired folks with few things on their agendas (no offense if you are an older person)
• It has been my experience that a lot of older people are of the grumpy sort.  I guess I would be too if my body was falling apart at the seams, and the highlight of my day was the Early Bird Special at the local diner.  But, I digress.
• Aforementioned older people walk…a lot…around malls and within neighborhoods…and they have sharp eyes (aided by those mega-powered eyeglasses).  Older people are the perfect candidates for detecting if a blade of grass is two millimeters longer than the rest of the yard, and they don’t mind tattling.
• Older people notice when people haven’t edged their yards *cough*.
• HOAs are merciless.  They don’t care if you’ve been laid off and can’t afford to buy or even rent an edger *cough*.  They continue sending those “Warning” letters threatening to assess fines.  Sometimes, I’ve wanted to tell them just what they can assess *cough*.
• HOAs are also desperate to collect money.  A lot of homeowners do not pay their monthly dues, so the rest of us get stuck paying higher fees to cover for the losses, which can’t be recouped until those owners’ houses are sold and the liens paid off (yes, I said liens, because this is another nasty thing that HOAs do if you don’t pay your fines).
• HOAs also LOATHE trash cans that are visible…even when said trash cans abut homeowners’ abodes.

So, back to the letter.

Yesterday, the letter contained a warning because our house had been red flagged for leaving the garbage can out…albeit up against the side of the house (not in front either).

To make matters worse, homeowners are not allowed to “hide” the cans in any way, shape, or form.  Forget trying to put the cans behind tall foliage.

Dare I say that the Garbage Patrol is venturing onto private property to look behind trees for those elusive cans?

I am seriously ticked, and if I had the money, I’d incur the fine just to be stubborn.

I’m considering organizing a revolt…against the HOA board of directors.

I’m thinking that I could rally up support from my neighbors.

Besides that, I’m a little annoyed that the HOA is more concerned about where I put my trash can than they are kiddos peeing in the community pool.

Grrr.

You know what makes all of this worse?

As a Christian, I am struggling with these feelings of anger.

I desperately want to fire off a nasty-gram to the “Powers That Be.”

I want to use all of my fine vocabulary skills to put those stupid people who passed that stupid rule in their places.

And then I am stopped by the Holy Spirit reminding me that I will not be a good witness if I do that.

I guess, for now, I will have to be content with being a grouch on my blog and in the privacy of my home (my apologies, family).

Filed under: This-n-That | Tagged: homeowners association | 3 Comments »