AuburnChick's Adventures

I feel as if I could write a country song right now.

The chorus would open up with something like this:

Math ain’t no thang
When God is doing the computang…

Ok…call me silly.

I.

Don’t.

Care.

I just arrived home after taking a brutal four-hour exam.

To become a teacher in Florida, a person has to pass three key exams:  Subject Area, General Knowledge, and Professional Ed.

Prior to today, I had taken two subject area exams.  You might remember my blog posts about them.  I’m feeling a little too lazy to link you back to the posts, but trust me.  I wrote about them (I write about everything, including dog poop and toilet flushing, so I’m sure I did).

With two difficult tests out of the way, I knew that I would need to take the dreaded General Knowledge Test.

It was not one I was looking forward to.

Why?

Because it includes a 45-question section on math.

Ugh.

Math is, quite honestly, the bane of my existence.

I can barely add and subtract, and I usually make stupid mistakes with even those basic operations.

In January, I reluctantly pulled out the study guide I had purchased a couple of years ago…

Don’t laugh.  I bought it as a package deal…along with the subject area and Professional Ed books.

I’m fairly certain that I got a great deal on them.

Anyhoo…I had put off taking this test because I was having such a hard time finding employment as a teacher.  Of course, all of that changed this year, and I found myself without an excuse after I enrolled in my certification classes.

With that in mind, I began dedicating portions of my lunch time to studying for this test…

The English did not concern me much.

Duh.

I’m kind of an English teacher.  It would be a problem if I couldn’t pass the English section.

The math, however, was going to be the monster that I was going to have to work hard to slay.

The study guide was very comprehensive.  It included sections on basic math, algebra, and…gasp…geometry.  It also included conversion and measurement problems.  Oh, and how could I forget probability and statistics.

Um, yeah.

This was the stuff I’d been living for.

Not.

I found myself doing okay until I hit the geometry section of the book.

Things quickly fell apart.

Or rather, I fell apart…my confidence shattered.

I sought help from students and the math teacher at the school.

They did their best to help me, and they did, in some ways.

However, when I tried to work the problems by myself, I got mental blocks.  I simply could not see my way out of those problems, nor could I understand the logic behind them.

And seriously, folks, how many of us are ever really going to figure out square footage so we can lay tile ourselves.

Let’s be real here.

Most of us hire this stuff out, except for the two of you who insist on being do-it-yourself-ers.

I remember thinking, as I have in the past when faced with these stupid math tests, “Where in the world are the ‘I don’t care’ options?”

Seriously.

Apparently someone does care, cause there sure weren’t any of those answers in my study guide.

And so I persisted in my studying.  There were a few weeks when I simply could not carve out much time to study due to my teaching and college obligations.  I did the best I could.

I had a plan, though.

I finally got up the nerve to schedule myself to take the darned test.  That provided a little bit of incentive to get down to the nitty gritty.  Plus, if I kept putting it off, I figured I’d be rushing at the last minute.

My goal, you see, is to have all of my exams completed by the time I am finished with my certification classes in July.

I scheduled the General Knowledge Test for the week of Spring Break (this week) so that I wouldn’t have to miss work.  I also figured I would have a few days to study without having to worry about classrooms of students.

And so, when Saturday rolled around, I got busy.

While the Mr. was driving Chicky across the state to meet up with the person who would take her the rest of the way to college, I stayed at home and studied…

And studied…

And studied.

On Sunday, I took my first practice exam.

It was bad.

I missed 26 problems out of 45.

I cried.

A lot.

I cried so much that I had to take a nap.

I took a long nap.

A two-hour nap.

When I woke up, the Mr. consoled me.

Then, he took me to dinner at Beef O’Brady’s.

When we got home, I took another test.

My second attempt resulted in only thirteen missed questions.

Much better.

I was smart enough to know, though, that the second test had been easier than the first one.  There had not been much geometry on it.

I made myself quit working after that and called it a night.

On Monday, I did a few chores around the house and then settled into a chair on the back patio and took practice test #3.

Oh.

My.

Word.

I missed thirty out of 45 questions.

I was getting worse.

I cried.

I cried a lot.

The Mr. came home, and I cried more.

The Mr. kept trying to tell me to relax, but I couldn’t.  I just could not fathom the thought of not passing this exam.

I consoled myself with the knowledge that if I did not pass the math section but passed the others, I would only have to retake the math part again.  That’s how this test works.

Thank goodness.

In a fit of desperation, I called my friend, Barbara.

You might remember Barbara.  I’ve blogged about her before.

She’s my unofficial mentor…a teacher at one of the local middle schools.

Her husband teaches math at the same middle school.  He is an amazing teacher.  I know because I subbed for him once and had the pleasure of watching him teach.

I called her.

Although she had just bought a new car (Go Barb!), and was, in fact, driving it home at the very instant I called, she, like a true friend, said, “Come on over!”

That is the sign of a good friend…one who, despite being stuck in an auto dealership all day, would invite a neurotic, PMS’ing (forgot to mention that, didn’t I?), weepy forty-year-old teacher-wannabe into her home to talk about math on a Monday afternoon.

Love you, Barb!

Anyhoo, Mr. Barb looked at my study guide, looked at the geometry problems that I had been struggling with (along with the host of others because, apparently, my math ignorance runs the gamut of disciplines), and said, “I’m not sure how they got this.”

Uh oh.

He did work out several of the problems while I watched.

He also commented that the math I was studying was not general knowledge.

No duh.

I had already deduced that you had to be a rocket scientist to do the math in that stupid book.

Regardless, I watched as he worked problems.

Eventually, they threw me out.  They had to attend their daughter’s softball game.

I returned home determined to chill.

I did, sort-of.

I worked a few problems and went to bed early.

I got up early this morning and began my hour and a half drive to the testing facility.  Living in Podunk, USA has its disadvantages, you know.

I prayed along the way.

I prayed after I got there.

I nervously signed in and prayed as I made one last trip to the bathroom.

My hands shook.

And then it was time.

The exam began with the essay portion…fifty minutes to write about one of two topics presented.

Oh.  My.  Gosh.

I’m not usually at a loss for words, but I must say that the writing prompts had me stumbling.

I sat for ten minutes without typing.

I was completely freaked out, and my hands began shaking uncontrollably.

I had no idea what to write about.

I began webbing for both topics.

Finally, I decided that I had better start typing or else I was going to run out of time.

I tried to pretend that I was blogging, but let’s face it…it just wasn’t the same, and I wasn’t fooling anyone.

With about two minutes left, I still had to write a conclusion.

I have never written something that quickly in my entire life.

I did not even have time to proof more than the first paragraph before time ran out.

I was one quarter of the way done with the test.

Next up was the grammar.

Now, one would think that I would be good at grammar, and I am; however, the practice tests in the study guide were very difficult, so I was nervous.

This morning’s test, though, was very easy.  I finished with time to spare.

Reading was next.  The most time-consuming part of this exam was the reading.  Yeah.  Go figure.  Answering the questions was, for the most part, a piece of cake.  I’m sure I missed a few, but I wasn’t overly concerned.  I had done very well on the practice test I had taken at home.

Finally, it was time for the math section.

Although breaks during timed portions of the exams are not allowed (without time stoppage), test takers are allowed to tinkle in between timed sections.

I raised my hand.  I knew that the math section had an allotted time of 100 minutes, and I also knew that I would need every second, so I took precautions and “tried” as we tell our kids.

It turned out to be a wise decision.

It also gave me a few minutes to pray.

My hands began shaking again.

I returned to the examination room and began taking my test.

I was grateful for the laminated notepad and permanent marker (strange tools but effective).

I took my time and worked through each problem.

Well, not each problem.

If I encountered anything that looked like geometry, I glanced at it, deciding if I knew how to the do the problem off of the top of my head, marked it to return to later, and moved on.

I worked my way through the problems very methodically and took full advantage of my notepad.  I jotted down whatever I thought I needed to help me understand each problem.

I used the little calculator provided by the center (four function only).

I felt vindicated in my studying when I came across several problems that I would not have known how to do if I had not studied beforehand.

I’ve gotta tell you that I was pleasantly surprised each time I wound up with an answer that matched on of the answers on my screen.  If something was off, I checked my math.

With a couple of minutes left to go, I reviewed the answers I had marked as being unsure of.

Before I knew it, I had thirty seconds left.

At that point, I went through the remaining unanswered questions and guessed at them.  I figured that the worst thing I could do was get them wrong.

I had a little survey to take after the math test, and then I was finished.

My legs were shaking so badly that I don’t know how I made it out of the room without collapsing.

The lady at the desk made small talk as she printed out my unofficial results.

I was almost sick with nervousness; my hands would not stop shaking.

She handed me my results…

The first sheet I saw was my essay response.  It will have to be graded by hand, so I will have to wait two to four weeks for the result.

The next sheet I saw was for one of the English tests.

PASS.

The sheet behind that was for the other English test.

PASS.

And then the moment I had been dreading…

The math…

PASS!!!

Relief and gratefulness flooded my heart at the same time.

Tears welled up in my eyes.

The lady at the desk told me I had done a good job.

I assured her that it wasn’t me but God who had done the good job.

I am certain that He was with me in that room.  There is no way that I could have sat in that room by myself and calmly worked through those problems.

Some people have told me not to sell myself short, but truly, folks, I know that I could not have done those problems on my own.  I had struggled with this math for months.

God continues to remind me how real He is, and how much of a presence He really is in my daily life.

There is no mountain that He cannot move, and He cares just as much for the mountain that a geometrically-challenged person can’t move as He does about something more significant.

And so I am humbled, as I always am, when God reveals Himself to me in a tangible way.

Today, God showed me that math ain’t no thang for the One who created it!

Filed under: Teaching | Tagged: certification, General Knowledge Test, teaching | 3 Comments »