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Inquiring Minds Want to Know…

Did AuburnChick really consider getting a tattoo while out yarn shopping on her birthday and how, exactly, do the two go together?

Well, you see, I tend to be random.

Um, yeah, now that’s a news flash, eh?

Like the fact that I’m sarcastic.

Anyhoo, I digress, as always.  Actually, I’m discursive…a word of the day at school a couple of months ago.  The students was quick to point out as descriptive of me.

Love them.  I really do.

Anyhoo…

See the tattoo and yarn thing…

Well, I live near the beach.  The yarn store I love is near the beach too.

What kind of places do you find near the beach, besides yarn stores?

Why, tattoo parlors, of course!

So, I was almost to my destination, which is in a lovely little area of town…where you park and walk around to the shops…and I noticed the tattoo place.

I thought to myself:

“Self, it’s your 40th birthday.  Wouldn’t it be funny if you got a tattoo?  I mean, it’s right next to the yarn store.  How convenient is that?”

Then, my practical nature took over.

“How reputable is it?  Is it clean?  And more importantly, do I really feel like enduring Chicky’s extreme judgment in the matter?”

See, Soccer Chick is very opinionated.

Not at all like her Mama.

Insert sarcasm.

The difference between the two of us is that she’s much quicker to share her opinions.  As a child, I was not.  I was afraid of my mom.

That woman knew the thoughts that entered my mind before I became conscious of them, and she was quick to dispense of them with over-the-top punishments.

Of course, I’ve changed a lot over the years, which is probably why I didn’t get a phone call or card in the mail from her on my special day.

That’s another story for another day.

Now, the tattoo idea would never have resulted in something big and showy.  If (and that’s a HUGE if), I were ever to get a tattoo, it would be small and located in a less-than-obvious place.

Like above my ankle or maybe the top of my foot.

It would be never be a person’s name or face (see yesterday’s Random Dozen).  It would probably be something related to soccer or knitting.

But again, we’re talking BIG if’s.

And remember:  all of this thinking happened in a nanosecond.  The thoughts left my mind as quickly as traffic moved past the storefront.

But, you asked, and I answered.  That is, unfortunately, how my brain moves from one topic to another.

Random Dozen – The Chicken Way

One can honestly say that Linda has a sense of humor and good timing.

This week’s Random Dozen focuses on the chicken theme (to accompany Easter).  I hope you enjoy reading my answers.

If you choose to play along, head back over to Linda’s blog, link up, and take a peek at other people’s answers.  I’ve found some good blogging friends this way!

1. How do you feel about the marshmallow Easter Peeps?

Honestly, I don’t like them!  They are too sugary and airy for me.  Makes me want to burp when I eat them.  Yeah, yeah…TMI.  Whatever!

2. Chickens are notoriously nervous creatures. When you are nervous, what is the best way to calm down?

I either eat chocolate or take a nap.  In both cases, life seems a little less nerve-racking after.

3. People say, “April showers bring May flowers.” Do you enjoy Spring rains?

YES!  I love a nice, slow rain.  The sound and smell of rain is very soothing to my soul.

4. When I was randomly flipping through TV channels this week, I saw a show in which tattoo parlor employees received tattoos of a co-worker’s face on their bodies. I can’t imagine having a portrait of a colleague tattooed on me. But if someone forced you to receive a portrait tattoo (face only) of anyone, who would it be? Why?

Oh gosh…what an interesting question!  I will say that the thought of getting a tattoo BRIEFLY crossed my mind yesterday when I was out yarn shopping.  I say briefly as in half of a nanosecond.  That said, I cannot imagine having a person’s face etched into my skin!!  Ugh. 

If I absolutely had to pick a person’s face, then I’d choose Rooster’s.  Why?  Because he was uber nice to me yesterday on my birthday.  He told me he had two invitations to friends’ houses, but he chose to stay home because it was my birthday.  He went on to say that when I turn 43, he might not be here because he’ll be in college.

Good boy, that one.  Think I’ll keep him.

5. Would you rather have a tattoo (any kind) or a nose ring?

Tattoo any day.  A tattoo can be inked in a discreet place; whereas, a nose ring…well, it kind of sits in the middle of your face for the world to see!  Not my thing.

6. Do you have any special plans for Easter?

After church, I will be hanging out at home with the family, enjoying a weekend of no soccer.

7. Cadbury Eggs or Reese Eggs?

Reeses, all the way baby!  I’m not big on filling in the middle of my chocolate.

8. What was the last thing/person you took a picture of?

My grocery haul from yesterday.  Lame, I know.  What can I say.  I lead a boring life.

9. What book are you reading now, or what was the last one?

I am listening (if this counts) to Pilgrim’s Progress.  I might even decide to buy the hard copy one day.  WONDERFUL book, I might add!!!  Love the symbolism!!

10. What do you think is the most difficult task when it comes to Spring cleaning?

Um, the cleaning itself?  I hate to clean.  It’s too time-consuming.  So, I don’t really do a true “Spring Cleaning.”  My mom never did, so I’ve not been taught properly.  I don’t plan on learning any time soon either!

11. How many pairs of flip-flops do you own?

I think I own about four pairs.  Living in Florida, flip flops are a must…almost year-around!

12. Which color makes you happiest?

Light blue.  I do like yellow, but I can’t wear yellow very well.  Light blue reminds me of the sky on a clear day.

Bonus Joke (not part of the Random): Why did the Easter egg hide?

He was a little chicken!

AuburnChick Saves $200

Despite Chicky’s comment that Your’s Truly is now an old lady, I scrounged up some grey matter and managed to do really good at the grocery store yesterday.

First off, here’s the loot I came home with…

Don’t recognize the table?  Well, that’s because it’s my dining room table.  I brought home so much stuff that I didn’t have room for it on the kitchen table.

Here are a few close-ups of what I got…

A breakdown, after coupons and sales…

10 bottles of shampoo/conditioner – $.75 per bottle (savings of 70%)
6 jars of Classico sauce – $.80 per jar (savings of 69%)
2 boxes of Ritz – $.80 per box (savings of 78%)
10 boxes of Crackerfuls – $.80 per box (savings of 78%)
2 cans of Dole pineapple – $.60 per can (savings of 66%)
2 tubs of Curly’s BBQ – $1.85 per tub (savings of 68%)
2 tubs Bob Evans Mashed Potatoes – $.20 per tub (savings of 94%)
2 pkgs Ore Ida Mashed Potatoes – $1 per pkg (savings of 75%)
4 boxes cereal – MONEYMAKER of $.21
2 bottles of oil – $.90 per bottle (savings of 76%)
4 boxes of cake mix – $.68 per box (savings of 66%)
4 boxes of pasta – $.20 per box (savings of 86%)
4 bags of chips – $1 per bag (savings of 75%)
2 blocks of cheese
– $1.16 per block (savings of 30%)
4 pkgs of cookies – $.25 per pkg (savings of 93%)
4 bags of Pita chips – $.50 per bag (savings of 80%)
2 pkgs of bacon – $1.50 per pkg (savings of 65%)
2 bags of salad – $1.59 per bag (savings of 56%)

I had a few other miscellaneous items…some of which I used coupons, and some of which I didn’t.

The final total?

Spent: $39.22
Saved: $213.82
Savings: 85%

A Knitter Turns 40

What happens when a knitter turns 40?

Well, if she is fortunate, she doesn’t have to work and gets to putter all day.

First, she opens a gift from Super Sis…

Then, she takes the car in for an oil change, where the attendant does his best to rip her off.

Naughty, naughty.  Don’t people know that birthday girls are not supposed to get cheated on their special day?

After putting him in his place, the knitter might decide to go shopping at a yarn store 45 minutes away.  She has the day off, after all, and the kids are old enough to get themselves home from school.

Because it’s her birthday, the Mr. might tell her to buy something “on him.”  She asks if she has a limit, and he says not to spend $1,000 on yarn.

So, she sticks to the budget (using a 20% coupon she got in the mail, of course) and gets the following…

Malabrigo Sock Yarn

And this…

Misti Alpaca Lace

After four years of knitting, the birthday girl might get lucky enough to finally have her punch card completely punched out, so she earns a $20 gift certificate on the spot.

Because this yarn store is so far away, she decides to go ahead and spend it, so she selects the following…

Cascade Heritage Handpainted Sock Yarn

Totally satisfied, the 40 year-old knitter might then drive home, to find the following in the mail from her friend, Susan

Socks That Rock Sock Yarn

Yep.  Turning 40 isn’t all that bad, if you’re a knitter, that is!

Yarn Therapy

It’s been a stressful week in the AuburnChick home.

I won’t go into details, though.

So, my need for a little yarn therapy is certainly justifiable.

The Mr., Chicky, and I are out-of-town for State Cup playoffs.  Naturally, I searched for a yarn store, but alas, none could be found within 30 miles.  So, I resorted to the next best thing…the BIGGEST Joann’s I’ve ever seen.

I remember this store from a couple of years ago when we played here.

I asked the Mr. to let me run in after we ate lunch, but he told me to go back after dropping him and the girl off at the hotel.  That gave me a chance to print 20% coupons.

I headed out.

Oh my, but when you come from Podunk, USA, you really appreciate a good-sized store.

I looked to my heart’s content and finally purchased the following:

Even though the sock yarn was Buy 1, Get the 2nd for 50% off, I was a good girl and did not buy any.  I have a lot of sock yarn at home.  But, I do want to make more wash cloths and dish cloths, so the cotton was a practical choice.  So too were the point protectors…items I’ve been in sore need of since I started knitting.

All-in-all, I only spent $10 and some change.  Not bad, considering the skeins are the larger sizes.  I should be able to get, at minimum, two cloths from each.  I figure I can do some sort of striping theme with what’s left since the colors complement each other.

So, although I am still stressed, the shopping took my mind off of stuff for a while.  In the meantime, I’m trusting God to work everything else out.

Random Dozen and Spiders

While Linda is out this week, another gal is hosting the Random Dozen.

You know the drill…visit her site and link back to your own answers!

Here are mine for the week:

The theme is Spring . . . and any other random questions that crept in.

1.  What is your favorite sign of Spring?

People doing yard work.  Notice I said “people” and not “me.”  Knowing that it’s warm enough to be outside planting flowers and fertilizing the grass…well, it makes me happy!

2.  Did you remember to spring forward on March 14?  If not, how did it impact your day?

I cannot believe this, but I actually FORGOT!  Chicky happened to get up just in the nick of time for church.  I did not, so I missed it.

3.  If soil, time, talent and climate were no problem, what vegetable would you plant in a garden this year?

White peas.  If you’re from the South, you know what I’m talking about.  These are the kind you shell, parboil, and freeze for use during the winter.  There is nothing better than white peas.

4.  If soil, time, talent and climate were no problem, what fruit would you plant?

Watermelon.  Oh man…pulling a watermelon from the garden and eating it fresh…doesn’t that just speak of summer??

5.  What is your least favorite insect?

Spiders.  By far.

A funny, and true story:  When we moved back up to north Florida, we rented a house.  I was still a stay-at-home-mom.  One morning, shortly after the move, I was getting ready to take the kids to school.  It was the rare morning that the Mr. was already in the office (he typically doesn’t go in until 9).  Just as we were getting ready to cross the threshold across the front door, I saw a humongous, fat spider.

Well, I knew I could not leave the house and return, knowing that spider would still be sharing space with me, so I got the broom to kill it.  However, spiders give me the heebie jeebies.  Seriously.  I kid you not.  I get covered head-to-toe in shiver bumps if I’m even in the same room as one.  I could not approach it with the broom.

So, the kids took turns trying to swat it, but that stupid spider protected itself by cowering in the corner where the two baseboards met.

Finally, exasperated, I took the broom.  In a spurt of bravado, I raised the broom up and came down hard on the part of the spider I could reach.

All of a sudden, the spider exploded, and little baby spiders came scurrying out!!  I had nailed a mama spider, and she was fat because of the sack of babies on her back!  Oy, the fright!

I screamed bloody murder, freaked out and wondered what in the world I was going to do.

I ran to the kitchen and grabbed the bottle of bleach water I kept under the sink.  I ran back over and squirted the heck out of that tile landing, drowning and chemically killing those creepy baby spider wannabe’s.

Um, yeah.  This really happened.

One more story.

A few years later, when I worked as a computer tech at a local middle school, I found a humongous spider lurking behind my technical manuals.  It was so big, I could see each leg in detail.

In a fit, I got on my school-issued walkie-talkie.  I could barely get out the words because I was so freaked out, so I squealed like a little kid…

“Tech to anyone.  There’s a really big spider, and I’m really, really scared.  Can you send someone to help me.  Pretty please?”

Mind you, this went out to every administrator and teacher with a walkie-talkie.  I obviously do not care that people know I am a wimp.

The custodian came in, donned rubber gloves, and ten minutes later with out saying, “Whew.  You were right.  That was the biggest spider I’ve ever seen.”

So, spiders are my least-favorite insect.

6.  March 22 was World Water Day. To celebrate, here are some water questions. Do you drink bottled water? If so, what brand?

I’m a soccer mom.  Of course I drink bottled water.  I prefer Dasani, but I also like Nestle.  I do not like Aquafina.

7.  Have you ever been somewhere that it was not safe to drink the local water? If so, how did you handle that?

When I was little, I was on a rare visit to see my dad (my parents were divorced).  We traveled across the border to Mexico, and I remember my dad telling me not to drink the water.  He offered me beer instead.  Before you go thinking bad of him, remember that he was French.  I think the French start drinking in the womb.  Regardless, I was disgusted by the thought and passed on his offer.  I don’t think I got dehydrated, but I didn’t drink anything that day.

8.  How many glasses of water do you drink per day?

Depends on what kick I’m on.  I probably, on average, drink two large glasses.  My kids, on the other hand, drink tons.  I started giving them water when they were old enough to have it mixed with their juice in their bottles.  They always had it in their sippy cups too.  To this day, they drink tons of it.

9.  March 24 is the birthday of Harry Houdini.  Have you ever watched a professional magic show? Share.

I’ve watched one or two while on cruises.  I don’t get overly impressed by this stuff because I know the tricks are all illusions.  Now, make money appear from thin air, and you’ve got my attention!

10.  Have you ever been a participant in a professional magic show (up on stage!)?

No.  I’m thinking I’d probably freak out.  Remember, I’m a wimp, and I’m not ashamed to admit it.

11. March 24 is also the birthday of Steve McQueen and Clyde Barrow. Do you like Westerns or gangster movies?  If so, what is your favorite?

No to the westerns, and a probably not to the gangster movies.  I did like a Bonnie and Clyde movie I saw recently.  Could that be counted as the two mixed together?

12. (Really random)  What U.S. state that you’ve never visited would you like to visit someday?

Hawaii.  I have sock yarn from there, and it’s to die for.  I’d love to get more yarn from Hawaii.  LOL

Another Slouched Tuva Hat!

Oh my, but I really love this pattern!

You might remember that I recently knit a Slouched Tuva Hat for Chicky’s soccer teammate.

Well, I wasn’t completely happy with the result, thinking it turned out a little larger than I wanted.

I considered my options:  cast on fewer stitches (and endure the torture of doing math) or use a smaller needle.

My mathless brain won out, so I used a smaller needle, dropping down to a 6 from the 8 I originally used.

First, take a look at the difference…

The hat on the bottom is the new one.  You can see that it is not as wide as the other one.

I was concerned about losing some of the lacy look, but I really didn’t.  The hat feels a bit denser than the larger one, but it still slouches nicely, and it looks great (in my humble opinion).

See for yourself…

I’ll be taking both hats to this weekend’s games to let Chicky’s teammate select the one that is the best fit.  If she chooses the smaller one, I’ll frog the bigger size and re-knit it for me.

Time to Don the Boogie Shoes!

Ring, Ring.

Hello.  AuburnChick can’t come to the blog right now.  She’s strapping on her boogie shoes cause a new season of Dancing with the Stars has begun!!

She’ll be back tomorrow after she’s read Rebecca’s AMAZING recap from the evening.  If you like the show, make sure you hop over and read.  Rebecca is a hoot!

Til tomorrow…

Guided by Love Socks

Despite my scraped elbow from yesterday’s “adventure,” I still managed to finish another project!  Somehow, I suspect that you couldn’t stop me from knitting if you cut off one of my arms.  LOL

Anyhoo…my newest project is called Guided by Love Socks…

This was a pattern I <gasp> paid for!  You can read more about the pattern here, although it is no longer available for purchase.  She does have a similar pattern here.

Yeah, I know.  I’m cheap, and there are loads of free patterns available on the ‘net.

I bought it for two reasons:  1) When I bought it, two years ago, I was making more money, so I treated myself, and 2) 100% of the proceeds went to an organization that furthers independence for the visually impaired.  Paired with my love of dogs, I couldn’t resist.

I waited to knit this until I had the perfect yarn.  I finally found it during a soccer trip to South Carolina last fall.  This is Regia 4-fadig, color 44.  I used 345 yards (1.5 skeins/75 grams)…

I used US 1 (2.25 mm) needles.  I initially started out making the Women’s 7-8 size, but it was looking like it was going to be too large, so I frogged and cast on for the 5-6 size.  This seems odd because I wear a 7 1/2 shoe, but it’s all about gauge, and mine can be all over the place.

Now, let’s talk about the pattern a bit (without giving anything away that would violate copyright laws).

First off, I initially thought that this pattern would be easy peasy.  One look at the chart, and it looked like something I could do in my sleep…especially after recently finishing Bex.  However, the construction of this pair is very, very different from any I’ve ever made.

I contacted the designer through Facebook and asked several questions.  She responded immediately and was very helpful.  She assured me that no, I wasn’t dumb, and encouraged me to knit the pattern as the directions indicated.

You know what?

She was right!

The pattern worked out just the way the instructions said!  At one point, I had written the words, “Trust the pattern,” on the top of one of my printed pages just to remind myself to keep on plugging away.

The first heel I knit (yeah, I said first) gave me a fit, and I ripped back.  It is a modified version of a short-row heel.  The second time I worked the heel, I placed markers at the wraps to help me keep track.  I don’t know why I made things so difficult, because the heels were actually easy to knit and lovely to behind when finished…

One thing that makes these socks so cute is the paw print pattern that runs across the foot and up the leg.  If you look closely, you’ll see little paw prints.  Can you say LOVE?!

Another neat feature of this pattern is the cuff.  The designer incorporated the words, “Guided by Love” around the top in Braille…

Knitting with beads was a first for me.  I started out by buying the size recommended in the pattern (8.0 mm)…

I also bought a size 14 crochet hook…

When I tried to string them, the yarn was too thick, and oh my gosh, but the hook was way smaller than I’d ever expected! Oy!  So, I ran back to Hobby Lobby and bought the next size up (6.0)…

Along with another teensy, tiny crochet hook…

I struggled applying the beads.  Crochet hooks this small are good for fitting through the holes in the beads, but the hooks are so tiny that it’s difficult to grab the stitches.  Often times, my yarn would split.  Ugh.

But, I persisted…a time when I can thank my stubborn nature.  And I finally finished!  Woo Hoo!  Another pair for the sock drawer!

AuburnChick Needs the Dog Whisperer

The Dog Whisperer could fill half a season’s worth of episodes with the dog issues that exist in the AuburnChick home.

I really could have used his assistance today.

As you know, the weather has taken a sunny turn.  In fact, it was even warm enough for Soccer Chick to tan herself by the neighborhood pool.  Of course, I did not go.  I’m not a huge fan of showing my bod in a bathing suit any more.  Don’t want to scare the locals, you know.

So, I stayed inside, caught up in a knitting-induced stupor.

Then, I caught sight of Aubie and Pele, lazily looking up at me.

One peek at the sunny day outside, and I knew what I had to do.

I asked if they wanted to go for a walk.  I thought it would be fun to surprise Chicky with a visit from the pooches.

Lord have mercy, but you would have thought I’d told them that there was a garden of treats outside.  They were that excited.

I hitched them to their leashes, and off we went.

These are strong dogs, individually.  Put together, a challenge for someone as petite as me.

I did the Dog Whisperer thing and kept the dogs close to my side, pulling on their leashes when they started getting ahead.  We were making progress, albeit slowly.

Then, an obstacle.

A small dog across the street spotted us and started yapping in that annoying midget-dog-kind-of-way.

Aubie’s ears perked up, and she adopted the predatory look she gets when she envisions something as food.  I first saw this look on her face when we had Chloe, the rabbit.

I jerked back on the leash, and she obeyed.  She’s smart.

Pele, on the other hand, is a follower.  He sensed Aubie’s anxiety and got excited.

He’s almost 80 pounds, and when he pulls, he doesn’t do so gently.

Still, I was able to get him under control.

We tried to walk on by…still across the street, mind you.

And then it happened.

That stupid little yappy dog from a part of the underworld I don’t ever plan on visiting got off its leash and ran across the street in full attack mode.

Why, pray tell, do five pound mutts assume they own the world?

Hello?

There are two sides of the street, and I wasn’t in your space.

But no…dumb dog had to tell us that it owned ALL of the land.

Oh man, but this ticked off Aubie royally.

To her credit, I don’t know if the actions that followed were due to her desire to protect me or to swallow that fur ball in one bite.

Whatever Aubie does, Pele does, much like Simon says.

Through telepathy, my babies took off toward that insane little dog, with me doing my best to hold onto their leashes.

They were too strong for me.

I assumed the position of Iditarod driver.

What?  Never seen this?

It’s when you bend your knees and sort of sit into the pull that’s being exacted.

The only difference is that you’re not riding on a sled.  Oh no, your sled is your shoes, and the grass is your snow.

Oh yeah.  I forgot about the concrete.

I made a rude discovery.

The older you get, the less balance you have…especially when you have about 120 pounds of other living flesh pulling you around.

Down I went.

I honestly don’t remember which part hit first.  I suspect it was my right knee, followed by my right hip, followed by my elbow, followed by my wrist.

It’s all a blur.

I vaguely remember being dragged a few inches.

When I looked up, I saw Pele had gotten loose and was running toward Little Dog, who was, in turn, yelping in fear at the sight of Big Dog approaching it.

In my right hand was Aubie’s leash.  Although she still had the hungry look, she was not going anywhere thanks to my determined effort.

Pele, being the big but harmless dog that he is, trotted back to me and sat on the sidewalk, waiting for me to pick up his leash.

I took a moment to do a quick body check.  All parts accounted for, I ensured that Dog from Down Under (and I’m not talking about Australia here) had not been bitten.

It hadn’t.  Lucky thing, even though it was the one who instigated the entire affair.

Leashes in hand, my pooches and I departed for home.

We had not even made it to the corner of my street.

I was mad as a hornet and gave them a What For as I limped home.

When I walked in the door, I broke down.

Then, I did an injury check.

First, my knee was scraped up.  Fortunately, I had been wearing blue jeans.  Sometimes being cold-natured pays off.  While I didn’t have a hole in my pants, I can see where the material was worn through a bit.

Next, I noticed an issue with my right butt cheek (sorry to get descriptive) and my hip.  I think I’ll have a bruise from landing there.  I probably twisted funny as I hit the ground, hence the hitch in my step.

And then I pulled up my sleeve…

Yes, that’s how dedicated of a blogger I am.  In between my tears, released from the surge of adrenaline, fear, and relief, I asked the Mr. to take pictures.

I cleaned myself up (thank you peroxide) and let my boo boo air out.

When Soccer Chick got home from the pool (remember that I never made it to see her), I told her the story.

She told me that although she knew it was scary, the mental picture of me going down and being dragged was a little funny.

She’s right.

But I’m still sore (literally and figuratively).

Chicky was kind enough to bandage me up so that I could write my blog…

If I had the money, I would totally fly the Dog Whisperer out to Podunk, USA to help me train my furry babies better.

I think Little Dog could use some training too.