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A Day of Oopsies

Ok…so this hasn’t exactly been the best day as far as oopsies are concerned.

Things started off well enough.

Chicky and I got all three dogs to the boarding facility, although perhaps I should have paid attention to the clue to how our day was going to proceed when Chicky took the longgggggg way (i.e. she got lost) to the place (she had Molly, and I had the other two dogs since Molly and Aubie don’t get along still).

However, this was a magical day (yeah right…see previous post).

As we drove to the Mr’s grandmother’s (Mama D) house, I felt strangely relaxed.  This Christmas was turning out to be one of the best in a while.

The kids had enjoyed the impromptu gift-opening session we had last night.  Nobody complained about the presents they had received.  We all smiled for the umpteen pictures that were taken.

Our trip to even more Podunk USA was uneventful.  I actually found myself even more relaxed as I knitted and thought about the people I had grown up with.

Upon arriving at the house, we settled onto the comfy couches and chatted up Mama D.   I was anxious for her to see the booga bag I had made her, but I was polite.  After all, you don’t arrive at someone’s house and demand presents.  We’re not that redneck.

However, Mama D brought up the subject of purses herself when she told me that the one thing she wanted me to make her was a purse like Super Sis’s.  She had seen it a few weeks ago and commented about it last weekend when they visited.  She even offered to buy the yarn for me!

At that moment, Chicky announced, “Let’s open presents,” knowing what was in store.

I’ll let the pictures speak for themselves…

First, the obligatory pose…

 

Then, the look of surprise and joy as she peeked into the bag…

Mama D was so happy that she could hardly speak…

In 20+ years, I’ve never seen her hug a present before…

We went out to see the Mr’s cousins, who were getting ready to go horseback riding.  By the time we got back to Mama D’s house, she had switched her stuff from her old purse to the booga bag, and she was trying to decide what she is going to wear to church on Sunday to match the purse.

True happiness and the entire reason why I knit.

Getting back to the point of my story…

As you can see, the day was going along nicely.

We left Mama D’s house and drove to Grand Pooba and Coupon Queen’s house, arriving at 8pm.

I had my episode with the journal cover (see previous post) and went to Books a Million.

Now, I was already feeling down-in-the-dumps, and then my phone rang.

It was the Mr.

“AuburnChick, did you grab certain “bags” from the house before we left?”

“Um, no…didn’t you grab the super-important-Christmas-Eve-must-have bags?” I responded.

Silence.

We realized that neither one of us was joking.

We were an hour and a half away from some very important things.

After spending about six hours in the car, neither one of us relished the idea of going back home.

I, after all, have massive, last-minute shopping to do thanks to unkind knitting demons.

The Mr, to his credit, did not totally blame me.  Oh, he did make a weak attempt, claiming that the person who bought certain gifts should be the one to pack them.

I gently loudly reminded him that he was the shopper of said items…everyone knows I cannot stand to shop unless it’s for groceries, and I’m getting free stuff.

Yep.  That argument went right down the toilet.

We had to come up with a plan.  Who was going back?  Would said person be driving back tonight or in the morning?

The Mr did the gentlemanly/fatherly thing and got in the car.  Yeah, he grumped, but he felt fortunate that illumination had revealed this potential disaster before Christmas Eve night.

Or maybe it was Chicky’s response that she might stop believing in Santa if he didn’t leave presents for her to find Christmas morning.

Almost 18 years old, but she got us.

He left.

Sigh.

In 20 years of traveling during Christmas, this is the first time we’ve ever left gifts at home.  I sincerely doubt this little oopsie will happen again.

A P.S. to Super D.

When said blogger called a certain brother-in-law to inquire about acquiring a glass of wine to soothe my feelings of frustration, you refused, stating that said wine is highly valued in your home. 

Seems to me like another oops just occurred.  Just wait until I knit you a Bama wine bottle koozie!

Oops.

P.P.S.  I know that Super D hearts me in his heart.  I also know how much he hearts his wine.  Empathy only goes so far.

Always Have a Plan C

First off, Super Sis, if you’re reading this before Christmas, do yourself a favor and skip it.  Just for a few days.  You’ll get it…later.

Back to my story.

Somebody somewhere is having a good laugh right now…

At my expense.

You see, for some odd reason, the knitting magic has disappeared from my hands, and I can’t, for the life of me, figure out why.

You’ll recall the disaster I encountered with the felted slippers.  A HUGE thanks to all who assured me that this tragedy has befallen others in the knitting kingdom.  I don’t feel as stupid as I did.

The latest mishap occurred today.

The AuburnChick family headed out for some Christmas visiting, spending oodles of hours in the car en route to our multiple destinations.

I figured this would be the perfect time to finish the project I made reference to in yesterday’s post.

The pattern I had set my heart on was the Journal Cover, found in the 2010 Calendar included with the December issue of Simply Knitting.  As soon as I saw it, I thought of Super Sis.  She loves to journal, so I figured I would pair it with a nice pen and Voila!

Of course, this is AuburnChick.  Simply saying “Voila” doesn’t make things magically happen.

Anyhoo, at 8:00 this morning, I was still blind to my lofty aspirations.  This is, after all, the Christmas season when there is magic in the air and when miracles happen.

I eagerly knit to my heart’s content, marvelling at how quickly I was making progress.

It wasn’t until we were headed to our second destination that I realized I might have a problem.

As I was working on the journal’s strap, I ran out of yarn.

Great.

I closely eyed my project.

I pulled out my ruler.

That’s when I discovered that my gauge was off…by two stitches per inch.

Yeah.  You can guess what that means.

The cover is humongous…and oddly shaped.

Still, I held out hope and carried it with me as I entered Coupon Queen and Grand Pooba’s home.

Queenie pulled out a journal she had in the closet.  I realized that this was the size the journal cover was SUPPOSED to be.

Great.

Take a look for yourself…

I didn’t exaggerate, did I?

I voiced the idea that maybe I could find a journal at the store…one that was a little taller and narrower.

Everyone raised their eyebrows.

Around this time, Super Sis’s husband, Super D, came to visit.

I explained my dilemma, and he did what everyone else was doing.

He laughed.

Oh, not a snicker, but a deep gutted laugh.

Thanks.  I feel so much better now.

We decided to play a game.  How many different things could this “thing” be?

Here’s what it looks like right now…

Perhaps it could be a wash cloth.  Except that my sister is the same size as me (which ain’t big, mind you).  This thing is large enough to almost go around her waist.

How about a kerchief?  Or a bib (to which Super D said that she has gotten kind of messy lately)?

A shawl?  Or how about if I put a dowel in the top, embroidered “Sisters are Forever” and asked her to hang it in her kitchen (to which Super D responded that this would be the thing you hang up right before said company visited). 

Gee thanks.

You know, though, I can be stubborn (ok people who know me…I know you’re SHOCKED by this admission).  I decided to visit the book store anyhow…just to make sure I had covered all bases.

Coupon Queen looked on as I tried to figure out a way to make this thing work on the many journals lining the store shelves. 

One thing she didn’t do was to lie.  She didn’t say a word as I stretched that piece of something over each book.  However, she did look visibly relieved when I finally seemed to come to my senses…declaring the mission (and the project) a total failure.

Needless to say, we’re headed out shopping VERY early in the morning.

Just for laughs, I plan on wrapping this thing with whatever her “real” present is.  Just to watch her reaction…see how nice she can be about something so utterly unusable.

As for me…Plan A, B, and C will henceforth involve better planning and a mass-produced item…just in case.

I am, after all, AuburnChick…Queen of Disaster.

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