Alright…I’ll admit it. I can be directionally-challenged.
I first noticed this discrepancy in my persona during my high school days.
The first time I realized that I could never, ever travel without a map was when I attempted to drive home after an away football game.
I lived in a very small town, so away games were truly AWAY. I have no idea how I managed to get to one particular game. Maybe I followed the bus that the team was riding on. Maybe I followed a parent. Of course, it was daylight, and driving is always much easier when you can see.
After the game, I asked a parent for directions to get home. Sounded easy, so my friend and I (I was the driver that night) headed out.
Well, I’m sure I missed a turn. And then, I’m sure I missed another turn. I tried to be all big and wing it, sticking my nose in the air as if to smell the direction of the wind.
Yeah, right. I wasn’t fooling anyone.
By the time I realized I was lost, it was very dark. It was late, and I just wanted to hit any big road.
By the time I found a main thoroughfare, I was desperate. I found a gas station and asked where I was.
Montgomery.
A solid hour or more from home.
Oh
My
Goodness.
I just KNEW I was dead meat. This was the time before cell phones. And it was way past my curfew. My friend was late for her’s as well.
I found a payphone and a quarter and called home, crying. The parents were understanding. I’m sure they laughed about it when they hung up.
Needless to say, I went through the next two years of high school as the butt of everyone’s driving jokes. Being the butt of jokes was nothing new, and I took it in stride.
My next big “Aha” moment occurred after I got married. The Mr. and I lived in Auburn (as in Auburn University) while he finished up. I worked full-time for Auburn’s library. One day, I decided to go home for lunch rather than sit around and read.
I got lost.
Going to my apartment.
A place where I could have walked to work from.
I drove around and around until it was almost time for me to be back at work.
If you’ve ever been to Auburn, you know that it is not a very big place. The University easy to get around (apparently not for me, though). You can park your car and hoof it anywhere you want to go, which obviously I should have done.
Embarrassing, to say the least.
Fast forward a year or so…after the Mr. graduated and we moved to Tallahassee. It seems that most of the moves in my life have been to larger cities. Do you have any idea what a setup for failure this is? I mean…I am lucky to find my way around my home. I’ve broken a few toes bumping into chairs that I forgot were there.
Tallahassee is not the easiest place to get around. It is home to several one-way streets.
The first month or so, the Mr. and I lived with his parents until our apartment was ready to move into. I worked in the building behind Grand Poo Bah’s, so it was natural for us to ride together each day. I got to relax and let him drive. I should have been memorizing the route. As you know by now, I don’t always (ok…I never) take the easy way.
Let’s just say that my first few rides home were “scenic.”
I will say that over the last few years, I’ve gotten better. Living in Coral Springs was great because the arrangement of the streets goes with directions on a map…i.e. north, south, east, west. Or could it be that by that time, I’d finally learned how to use those key words. Probably the latter.
With all of the traveling we’ve done over the years…many, many soccer tournaments…I’ve had to get better at following directions.
And then technology provided the tool such a person as myself needed…GPS! And a voice to help you! Have you ever considered that the voice is female? Men, of course, don’t know where they are going and refuse to ask for help.
Anyhoo, I love the GPS. It’s enabled me to go yarn shopping in many a locale. Shhh…don’t tell the Mr. He might “forget” to pack it if he finds out.
Well, the GPS sure didn’t help me out a lot this weekend. Oh sure, it got me to that fabulous store I blogged about in my last post. However, it didn’t prevent me from making U-turns every time I got in the car.
I have a very good explanation for this. When you’re looking at the GPS, the distance of when it tells you to turn looks very misleading. You think you have more time, and then…WAPOW! You’ve missed the turn. Enter in the U-turn.
The female voice inside the GPS got very annoyed with me this weekend. At one point (and I kid you not), she told me, “Just find any place and turn around.” She had a sarcastic tone too! Talk about a GPS with attitude!
“Look out Sista,” I wanted to say, “I carry pointy sticks and would use them if not for the fear of winding up in Arkansas.”
Well, Rooster and I made it home last night, after yet another miscue and an extra 30 minutes in the car. We were eager to get home so we could see the movie “Defiance.” It’s a fabulous movie, by the way!
We paid for our tickets, got our free popcorn, and headed to the viewing room.
And couldn’t find it.
We walked all over that theater, making several U-turns along the way, but could not find theater #2. We finally found it beside the Exit door.
We were giggling as we walked in, whispering about the things the GPS Lady would have said to us…
“Idiots. You can’t even find your way around a movie theater. Go home, pull the covers over your head, and don’t…come…out. Ever.”
Filed under: This-n-That | 1 Comment »
AuburnChick's Adventures 