AuburnChick's Adventures

Today was a long day.

I subbed for a teacher who did not leave very clear instructions for me.  The entire routine was different from what I’m used to, so the day was a bit more difficult than I had anticipated.  Plus, I was extremely tired.  It was my one day of the month when I suffer from severe fatigue.  Ladies, I’m sure you understand exactly what I’m talking about.

By the time I got home, I was wiped out, so I took a brief rest on the couch before heading back out to pick up Rockin’ Rooster from soccer conditioning.  I had, by this time, decided that cooking dinner was out of the question.  I asked Mr. AuburnChick to pick up dinner on his way home from an errand.

“No can do,” was his answer.  He would later regret this.

I figured everyone would eat leftovers.  With my plans for dinner finalized, I resumed my horizontal position on the couch.

Until the doorbell rang.

I wearily dragged myself from the couch, full-blown headache firmly entrenched on my brain by this time, and gingerly opened the newly-installed blinds by the front door.

Hmmm…I did not recognize the gentleman standing outside.  And then it hit me.

An appointment that Mr. AuburnChick had set up.

Rats.

I quickly put the three dogs outside and went into the bathroom (might as well tell all since “someone” got me into this) to retrieve the hubby.  This was, after all, his doing.  He would be cutting his “business” short to take care of the man at the door.

I went back to the living room, pasting a polite smile to my face, and greeted the man in what I hoped was a sincere hello.

He was a salesman.  From Rainsoft.

How in the world did I get roped into this?

Well, let’s just say that Mr. AuburnChick is henceforth banned from purchasing all large items from retail stores.  You see, when he went to purchase blinds, he allowed himself to be cajoled into listening to a sales pitch…all because he would be receiving a $20 giftcard from said store.  What could be the harm, he told me, in watching a quick demonstration.

Yeah, right.  Always run when the words “easy” or “quick” are thrown around.  There’s no such thing.  Especially when a salesperson is using such vocabulary.

So now I was stuck watching a demo with a raging headache.  I looked like you-know-what.  I’d just dealt with a large number of sixth graders, a teenaged boy who didn’t want to do his chores, and now a grown man wanting me to spend money I don’t have.

I sat and listened.  When the man wasn’t looking, I nailed Mr. AuburnChick with the “Boy Do You Owe Me” look.  You know what I’m talking about.  When you’ve been married as long as I have, you can communicate more with your eyes than words.  Mr. AuburnChick had to turn away lest he be burned.  I did see him chuckle under his breath though.

Bad, bad, bad.

The demonstration was not quick.  Oh no.  One hour passed.  The blinds guy came and left after installing the set he had to take back in for repair the other day.  Soccer Chick came home from babysitting.  Rockin’ Rooster did his chores.

And on and on went the demonstration.

My headache got worse.  Nausea built up, and I almost had to excuse myself.  I did manage to take two Excedrin Migraine pills.  The man stayed long enough for them to kick in.

Finally, just when I thought the exhibit was drawing to an end, and we were telling him how we couldn’t afford his product, he began pulling out samples of the cleaning and beauty supplies that will “conveniently” be included in our purchase.

By now, the drugs were beginning to take effect.  One of the products…perhaps it was the shampoo…is called “Peaches and Creme.”

I totally cracked up at this point.  Remember my 18 dishcloths during the Olympics?  Remember how I used Peaches ‘n Cream for them and have sworn off buying any more?  To have shampoo sitting in front of me with the same name, and after sitting there for what was now two hours, was just too much.  And for the man to tell me that he would provide enough to last nine years (I can’t remember how many gallons it was, but you use so little cause of the softened water, that it will last that long) I started giggling.  Can you imagine?  Peaches and Creme for nine years?  I laughed so hard that tears were coming down my face.

Yes, I had lost it.  Two Excedrin pills will do this.  Sitting in a chair for two hours will do this.

Poor sales guy.

Heck…forget that…

Poor AuburnChick.

Mr. AuburnChick truly did not know what to do at this point.

I finally composed myself enough to allow the man to end his demo.  We’re “thinking” about it, we told him.

I think Mr. AuburnChick was scared to come back after walking the dude to the door.  He knew he was in for it.

I didn’t disappoint him.

Let’s just say that I got my dinner, from my favorite restaurant, and he went to pick it up.  Complain?  Yeah, he tried.  But not for long.

Fetch.

Good boy.

Who says you can’t teach an old dog new tricks?

Filed under: This-n-That | Tagged: dog house, husbands | 2 Comments »