Have you ever had a conversation with a person and felt like you were talking to a wall?
That’s how I felt tonight.
Soccer Chick and I got home early this afternoon, having spent an interesting night at the hotel by ourselves. We watched our Auburn Tigers lose to LSU. Boo. Then, this morning, we were awakened several times by soccer girls on their way to their own games.
We made the long drive home in virtual silence, each of us lost in our own thoughts and the tune of the music we were each listening to. We got home with plenty of time to rest up for the coming week. She drove herself and Rooster to church this evening while my mind pondered the events of the weekend.
I was disturbed that I didn’t get to talk to the coach before we left. I decided to call, despite warnings and pleadings by Soccer Chick and Mr. AuburnChick not to.
I’m the type of person who says what I feel. I can’t help it. I have to get things out in the open. I like to try to work things out. Leaving the field last night without closure went against my nature.
So I called.
Probably a bad idea, depending on whose perspective you look at it from.
I tried. I really did.
Everything I said echoed back, and it wasn’t because of a bad connection.
Coach was understandably angry, even though he claimed not to be, which was kind of funny because he was yelling while he said it.
I called to get closure. I called to apologize for the way things went down. I won’t say I’m perfect, because I am well aware that I’m not. My teens tell me this all the time. However, I am more than willing to accept my responsibility for things that could have been handled differently. I did this, although I don’t think Coach heard me.
I also tried to clarify why Soccer Chick quit. Coach didn’t understand. How do you say, “You drove her away,” nicely?
You don’t. No matter how hard you try to sweeten it, you can’t. Which is why Soccer Chick didn’t try last night.
I gingerly fed him this bit of news, but it was a bitter pill to swallow. How do you explain to a coach that his passion needs to be acted out in a positive way? Yeah, he didn’t take this too well. Perhaps after time he’ll realize that I did not mean to slight him.
I don’t think that anything I said went past his wall of self defense. I was accused of not parenting my child properly and falling off of a pedestal I’d been placed upon…one I never wanted to stand atop anyhow.
Talking to a wall is not fun. I quickly understood why Soccer Chick quit. Sometimes you cannot reason with people. They refuse to see anybody’s perspective but their own.
Too bad. They lose out.
Coach will lose out, and now the other players will too.
Too bad. I really loved that team, and so did Soccer Chick.
After hanging up with Coach, I cried. I don’t like letting people down. I felt like I had let him and the team down.
I called my sister. I needed someone to assure me I had done the right thing. She didn’t let me down.
After talking to her, I regained my confidence. I know that as a parent, my first priority is my children’s emotional well-being. During my conversation with Coach, he stated, several times, that Soccer Chick was only thinking of herself. She had put the team last. She had put herself last for so long that she was an emotional wreck. I am trying to help her pick up the pieces.
Coach has no idea…
My sister reminded me that last night, I chose my daughter over the team. THAT will be the choice that matters the most in the end. What good is a team if the individuals aren’t happy and putting forth their full effort? What happens when soccer goes away?
In the end, I think that Coach was being selfish. I don’t know if he’ll ever understand.
I think that what hurt the most was the fact that I had tried to apologize, and that apology was rejected. Have you ever tried saying you’re sorry, and the other person blew you off?
It was like talking to a wall.
Guess I’ll redecorate…put in a new one.
Please continue to pray for us as we adjust to our new “surroundings.”
Filed under: This-n-That | Tagged: soccer, teenagers | 4 Comments »
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