AuburnChick's Adventures

This is a long post. Please bear with me. I’m exceptionally long-winded today. Actually, this story just takes a while to get through. I think you’ll find it worth it, though.

Monday morning started early for me. Monday was a big day, you see. It was the day I was registered to take my Social Sciences certification exam, one of several required before I can begin my teaching career.

I left the house before daylight since the testing facility was 2 1/2 hours away. Don’t forget that AuburnChick hails from Podunk, U.S.A.

This is what it looked like about 45 minutes into my drive…

My appointment was set for 9:30. I got to my destination with about 40 minutes to spare. I sat in my car for about ten minutes trying to calm my racing heart. I was a nervous wreck. I prayed for peace and then made my way to the building, getting a little lost on the way and thinking about how I should probably go potty beforehand. I never did find a bathroom, but I was so concerned about not being late that I really didn’t hunt too hard.

As I sat down and began reading the test questions, my nervousness increased. I quickly realized that I had not studied the right stuff. The test covered material I was supposed to have learned from grades one through college. Only 120 questions. Who in the world decides which facts to grill prospective teachers on? It was like me trying to pick out chocolate in a Godiva store. Have you ever been in one of these places? The Godiva place, I mean. About a month ago, I went shopping with a friend (shout out to my chocolate comrade-in-arms). Here are pictures to prove it.

Oh, but I digress. Sorry about that. Any time I think of chocolate, my mind wanders.

Getting back to my story (and it’s good, so keep reading)…

As I progressed through the exam, I grew more and more concerned. When you take one of these computerized exams, there’s a button you can click to mark a question. Then, when you want to review questions you weren’t sure of, you can click the Review button and up pops a list of the iffy questions.

Well, I started marking questions, one after another. I finally decided that I was being ridiculous. I was going to have the entire test marked and would never finish in time. I took a deep breath, prayed for confidence and proceeded. There were a few questions I knew straight off the top of my head. The tune, “Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader?” kept ringing in my ears. Other questions…well, I had no clue and did my best to analyze them to their logical conclusion. Some I plain ole guessed.

Oh, and do you remember ever thinking, while you were in school, what’s the point of learning this? I’ll NEVER need it.

Monday was one of those times when you needed to know those random, ridiculous facts. I can now fully empathize with a Jeopardy contestant.

“Alex, I’ll take Supposed to be Basic Economics Facts for whatever my sanity is worth.”

Yeah, not easy. Did you ever watch Little House on the Prairie? If you’re reading my blog, then you’re probably old enough to remember when the originals aired. I remember the episode when Laura was studying for her teacher exam. She carried her books everywhere. She studied while eating, doing dishes, scooping hay. I wanna think she failed it the first time but tried again and finally passed. Of course, back then, they didn’t have two World Wars, Vietnam, and the global war on terror to study.

Sorry…I’m digressing again. Misery loves company. Move on AuburnChick, move on.

I completed the exam with an hour to spare. I had reviewed my marked questions and opted not to go through the entire test again. Sometimes over analyzing is not a good thing.

When you take these exams, you get an instant, “unofficial” test score. I waited while the printer spit it out. The proctor handed it over, upside-down. My legs were weak, and I wanted to throw up. I had studied my behind off for two weeks…for what the study books recommended you study for six weeks. The odds were stacked against me.

I turned the paper over.

Underneath the ugly picture they had taken of me prior to my exam…when my hair was sticking straight out and I had the worst look of fear on my face, I read the following word…

PASS

No way. I looked again to be sure that it was my name on that paper. It was.

I wanted to hug the proctor. I refrained. I’m sure she was glad.

What did this test teach me?

Teachers have to be smart. Oh, I thought they simply studied while preparing their lesson plans. Not so. Wait a sec. Does this mean that I’m smart? Not likely. I’ll attribute my passing to God’s graciousness.

After leaving the test, I pretty much floated on air. I had another 2 1/2 drive home, but it was going to be much better than the trip over.

I turned on the radio. This song was playing on the radio…

Yeah, I was feeling good, cruising right along, not a care in the world.

Until I saw the blue lights flashing behind me…just as I was about to get off on my exit.

Rats, rats, rats.

Florida Highway Patrol.

I felt like I had an ulcer in my stomach.

Young guy in a uniform.

“Ma’am, can you tell me what you were thinking just now as you flew down the road?”

I was almost in tears. You see, I’ve never had a speeding ticket in my life. I’m 38 years old. I’ve been driving since I was about 10 (that’s what you do in the country).

“Um, I just passed this HUGE exam and was writing my blog in my head,” is what I wanted to say. To my credit, I did not utter that sentence out loud.

I did explain about the exam and that I had never gotten a ticket before…hoping that he would give me a break.

No go.

As I sat in my car, embarrassed while other cars passed by me, I felt humiliated and ashamed.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

The officer was nice as he handed me the ticket I deserved. I sadly drove away and contemplated this extreme change in direction that my emotions had just taken.

I went from feeling on top of the world one second to the bottom of the bottoms in the next.

I tend to be a perfectionist. I made an A in every college class this last go-round (the last two years). I am a rule-follower.

Apparently not today.

I called Mr. AuburnChick and bravely explained what happened, half-heartedly asking if he could do anything to fix it. He knows people, you see.

“Sorry Mrs. You’re on your own,” was his response.

So, I had to deal with it, spending the drive home trying to rationalize what had happened.

“This is the first time I’ve broken a law,” I told myself.

Well, not exactly. How many times have I driven over the speed limit?

“This is the first time I’ve ever gotten caught breaking the law,” I continued.

Well, not exactly. I’ve been pulled over twice before — once for not stopping completely at a red light (as I was turning right), and the other for speeding.

“This is the first time I’ve ever had to pay for breaking the law,” I finally concluded.

Ding, Ding, Ding.

You’re slow, AuburnChick, but you eventually get there.

Um, exactly who was I having this discussion with? Me thinks it was the Holy Spirit speaking to my heart.

As I sat in the car on what should have been a happy drive home, it dawned on me that this is what it will be like on the Day of Judgment. Many people are coasting by right now, thinking that they are good people, not breaking any laws. Perhaps they are getting their hands slapped, gentle reminders that all is not well. But in the end, everyone has to pay for their crimes against God. There’s no avoiding it. It will eventually happen, just like my getting the speeding ticket. And although Mr. AuburnChick couldn’t step in and fix the ticket for me, God sent His Son to pay the penalty that He must exact for sin.

So, although I’m still irritated with myself about this lapse, I am pleased that I won’t walk away without learning something. I’ll do my four-hours online driving class to avoid getting points on my license, and I won’t complain. I did the deed, and I’ll pay what’s due.

I am thankful that at the end of my life, I won’t have to pay what would justly be due for my human condition. Thankfully, Jesus stepped in and paid that fine for me.

What about you?

Filed under: This-n-That | Tagged: Christianity, exam, teacher, test | 7 Comments »