AuburnChick's Adventures

Yeah, yeah…I know…the title does not seem all that surprising since college students are supposed to take exams. Why would I write about something so normal as taking a test?

Well, first of all, this is AuburnChick. Is anything ever routine for her? Of course not. If it was, then she wouldn’t have a need for this blog.

Getting back to the purpose of my story…

You see, the exam I took today was not one of my finals, which I’m scheduled to take tomorrow (Thursday) and Friday. I was the happy-test-taker (not) of the MAPP test. It stands for Measure of Academic Proficiency and Progress. It should stand for Making AuburnChick Pretty Peeved.

First of all, the college I attend requires all students to take this exam before they graduate. It is used to measure students’ general knowledge against those of other university students. So, they require you to take an exam you have no interest in taking just so they can figure out if you really learned anything while you were in school. Plus, they make you pay for the test! And you know what? It’s not pass or fail. It’s a “just-because-I-said-so” test. Something is not right.

Anyhow…the test is timed…two 60-minute sessions…each containing 54 questions. I sit down and begin (by the way, it’s on the computer…thank goodness).

The first few questions involve reading and answering questions. Sound easy? Nope…not for AuburnChick.

Have you ever taken one of these exams where you have to read about topics that absolutely bore you to tears…so much that you zone out while you read the passages? And then the questions are phrased in such a confusing manner that you zone out while trying to decipher the questions? Why can’t they make these questions about something interesting…like the history of knitting? I would have aced those questions. But no…they didn’t ask for AuburnChick’s input before they wrote the test. That would have been too easy.

So, I plod my way through the reading sections, agonizing over each answer. Gotta be perfect, you know. I’m AuburnChick, Knower-of-All-Things, Queen of Google-ing. Only you can’t google the answers this time.

Meanwhile, the clock is ticking.

Tick, tick, tick

Well, okay…clocks don’t really tick anymore, but it’s hard not to look at that tiny thing counting down the minutes. It’s placed in a good spot too — in the right-hand corner of the screen — so you can see it out of the corner of your eye.

Tick, tick, tick

15 minutes left, and I’m only on question 10 of 54. What is up? What is taking so long? Could it be that this test is pointless?

After reading a few reading questions, I proceed to the questions that involve grammar and writing (which, BTW, I’m SURE I’ve aced).

Next, I hit the math section.

Uh, oh. I’m in trouble now. Boy don’t I know it. I am absolutely surprised that I can knit. Knitting involves counting and, sometimes, multiplying.  Somehow, though, knitting and math are logical.  Unlike the questions I faced today.

I managed to answer the first question without any problem. It was 1+1=n. Not a problem. It is a multiple choice test, making this a bit easier. I think the easy question was a trick to lull me into a false sense of security…believing that this would be easy after all.  They slammed me on the next one. And I quote (loosely, of course):

“You want to hang a picture that’s 4″ across on a wall that’s 13″ across. How far from the left side of the wall do you hang the picture?”

I have four answers to choose from. I didn’t see the answer I need: “AuburnChick does NOT hang pictures. That’s Mr. AuburnChick’s job.” This should have been choice D. It’s not there, and I don’t see a place to write in my answer.

Darn.

I use my scrap paper to lay it all out visually. This proves of no use. I’m a poor artist. So, I guess at the answer. Now, it must be said that when I told this story to a co-worker later, she chimes in with, “Oh, all you need to do is blah-blah-blah. Bingo. Answer.”

Yeah, and she’s beautiful too. Why, oh why, didn’t I get brains to go with my beauty?

Sigh.

And that’s how the exam went. For two solid hours. There I sat, alone in a testing room. I’m embarrassed to say that I vented out my frustration to the room, quite loudly too. They should have just brought in a straitjacket to go along with the white walls.

Oh, and one other thing… I got the results immediately. Can you believe that I did better on the math than the writing??? Yeah, it kind of surprised me to. I fancy myself a decent writer. People are actually reading my blog (unless they are hitting my blog to make my stats look good and then leaving real quick). And people are leaving very nice, positive comments (and no…I don’t delete the mean ones…there aren’t any). I was thinking of writing a book…a plan which I must now scrap because of this stupid test that claims that my writing skills are “marginal.” And to think that I could have been the next Jane Austen, Louisa May Alcott, or Tori Spelling (did you know that she just wrote a book?). My name could have gone down as one of the greatest female writers of all time, along with all those women I previously mentioned.  (Please recognize the sarcasm here.)

Sigh…

Anyhow, all that matters is that it’s over. The only math I plan on doing for the next great while is adding up all of my yarn purchases that I’m going to be making in celebration of graduation.

P.S. I was just kidding about the book. I have no intention of doing such a thing! It just made my story better!

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You know…a girl just cannot seem to get a break. Here’s how Thursday started.

I decided to get an early start at work, so I left for work straight from taking my daughter to school. The office occupies the top floor of a bank, and there are other businesses on the other floors.

So, I go, using my key to let myself in to the elevator where I proceed to punch in the elevator code that’s required for our floor (we’re special, you know). Well, nothing happens. Being a computer tech does not necessarily mean Auburnchick is always tech savy…although she does pretty good. I punch in the code again and hit the button of the floor she want. Nothing. The elevator goes up, and then goes down. Someone enters the elevator.

“What floor?” I ask.

“Four,” they say.

Ok. I hit the button. They stare. They are trying to figure out why I am already on the elevator and why I’m not getting off when they do. Yeah, Auburnchick likes riding elevators. It’s a lot cheaper than going to Disney.

So, after they get off, I try to enter the code again. The buttons all have two numbers, so I think that maybe to get to the number I need, I’m supposed to hit that button twice. Nope. Down I go.

The doors open, and there’s two people waiting to get on.

I wave good morning to them. They give me weird looks.

“What floor?” I ask.

“Four,” they say, looking at me from the corners of their eyes and standing real close to one another.

I feel the need to explain, so I tell them I’m trying to get to — floor.

“Oh, the one that needs the code?” Yeah. I lamely explain that the code must have been changed. Uh huh, right. I don’t think they really believed me. They get off, looking behind them. I think they were making sure I wasn’t going to follow them.

So, do you think I would get off of the elevator at some point? Oh no…that would be too easy. I keep trying…all combinations of numbers. I’m surprised an alarm did not go off. Once, I even pressed the numbers of the floors instead of the special keypad. Yep…I got to stop on every floor.

Oh, and normally, there are several people at work early. But not today…oh no, that would mean that Auburnchick is having a good day.

Finally, after about the 10th trip up and down that elevator (and I was starting to feel sick…I’m dumb…should have just gotten off), one of our employees arrives. She doesn’t have the code either. We ride. To no avail. She calls the person who has the code. He’s on his way in and won’t divulge the info. Great. So we waited…OUTSIDE the elevator. We finally got to our offices. And you know what, it wouldn’t have mattered if I had the newer code because they changed the locks on the doors of our floor, so I would have still been stuck! Grrr…

Auburnchick should have just gone straight home, cause the day just got worse and worse.

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Ok…I’ll play.

Lamby Knits tagged me, so it’s my turn. First of all, the rules.

1) Link to your tagger and post these rules on your blog.
2) Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog, some random, some weird.
3) Tag 7 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs.
4) Let them know they are tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

I have tagged Amanda, Arielluria, Aimee, Deb, Shandeh, Mason, and Mariblue. Don’t forget to check out their blogs! They’re quite nice!!!

Here are seven facts that others might find interesting about AuburnChick:

1) I am a goofy Newfy…meaning that I was born in Newfoundland (but I’ve lived in the U.S. all of my life).

2) I am a naturalized citizen. That was an awesome experience! My naturalization took place in Miami. You can only imagine the number of countries represented during the ceremony.

3) I was the state typing champion, on a manual typewriter no less, in Alabama in 1980-something. Sure, sounds geeky, but I am a proud nerd…what can I say. Oh, and did you catch that it was a MANUAL typewriter?? Yep…they still had those back then, although we also had electric and electronic typewriters. I made the unfortunate mistake of sitting in front of the manual typewriter the first day of class. There I sat for two years of typing class. No, I did not fail. I chose to take Typing II the second year.

4) I was born on Easter Sunday. That’s pretty cool, to me at least.

5) My high school graduating class only had 18 students, including me. I graduated #2. 🙂

6) I recently won a $100 gift card from Chick-fil-A. During Auburn’s college bowl game, sponsored by Chick-fil-A, I went online and registered for a free breakfast sandwich. Last week, an envelope arrived in the mail, and inside were a calendar (the kind with the free coupons on the bottom of each page), a coupon for a free breakfast sandwich, and a gift card that you were supposed to take to the restaurant to get them to scan. When they ran mine through, we discovered that I was one of the 2,000 winners (out of over 150,000 that were sent out)! What a great day!

7) I love to shop in office supply stores. Forget clothes shopping…just take me to a store that sells pens, paper, and office gadgets, and I’m all over it! Yep, AuburnChick is definitely a nerd.

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